Basement Disaster
Never leave a dog alone in a room19 total reviews
Comment from Paul McFarland
Nice story. Just a few bumpy spots here and there and a few forced rhymes, but a good effort. If the judges look at the story, you might do alright in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2021
   |
Nice story. Just a few bumpy spots here and there and a few forced rhymes, but a good effort. If the judges look at the story, you might do alright in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2021
-
Hello Paul. I appreciate your honest review. Have a great day.
Comment from Wendy G
Oh so humorous - at least for us to read about, although definitely not for them. It is crafted with skill and care, excellent rhythm and rhyme, and I hope (and expect) this fun piece will do very well in the contest!
Wendy
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2021
|
Oh so humorous - at least for us to read about, although definitely not for them. It is crafted with skill and care, excellent rhythm and rhyme, and I hope (and expect) this fun piece will do very well in the contest!
Wendy
Comment Written 30-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2021
-
Oh Wendy, thanks for your kind words and high expectations. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Have a wonderful day.
Comment from Mary Vigasin
A very well rhyme poem telling a very funny story about a poor Sparky. I get to have a dog was not exactly Dad's idea.
I enjoyed the laugh.
Good Luck in the contest.
Very well done.
Regards,
Mary
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2021
|
A very well rhyme poem telling a very funny story about a poor Sparky. I get to have a dog was not exactly Dad's idea.
I enjoyed the laugh.
Good Luck in the contest.
Very well done.
Regards,
Mary
Comment Written 30-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2021
-
Hello Mary,
Thanks for the kind review. I'm so glad the poem entertained you, as it was meant to do. Have a wonderful day.
Comment from RodG
My daughter had a story just like this one recently when her family left the dog alone in the basement. Although I would not want to clean up either mess, I found the narrator's reaction believable. I will never be a fan of AABB rhyming, but I liked your story. Rod
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2021
|
My daughter had a story just like this one recently when her family left the dog alone in the basement. Although I would not want to clean up either mess, I found the narrator's reaction believable. I will never be a fan of AABB rhyming, but I liked your story. Rod
Comment Written 30-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2021
-
Hello Rod,
Thanks for your review. I'm at a loss as to what AABB rhyming is. I'm not a poet per se and am unfamiliar with the various kinds. It seems that there are multitudes of different styles. Thanks for your review and comments.
-
AABB rhyming his when lines 1 & 2 rhyme and the next two lines rhyme (but differently). Google POETRY RHYME PATTERNS and you?ll see examples.
Comment from zanya
A poem that has a wonderful rhythm and raises a hearty chuckle - so well told- who hasn't had an experience akin to this one with their beloved pet ? - such an enjoyable read
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2021
 |
A poem that has a wonderful rhythm and raises a hearty chuckle - so well told- who hasn't had an experience akin to this one with their beloved pet ? - such an enjoyable read
Comment Written 30-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2021
-
Wow, thank you so much for the kind review and six stars. I'm honored by your vote. So glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Michele Harber
I really enjoyed the way you told a full story - beginning, middle and end -in rhyme. You used the right amount of detail, and your rhymes are well-chosen. Your poem is very relatable, as you describe exactly what many people would feel in similar situations, from the fear of spiders in the basement, to the nausea at seeing what the dog left behind. I certainly related, having seen a similar situation with a little Yorkie left for about an hour in a car, who produced an amount of stool you'd expect to see from a horse, and managed to track it everywhere from the seats to the doors and ceiling. I certainly felt what you describe.
The only thing I would suggest is that you review the work for punctuation, i.e., adding periods and semicolons, so you avoid run-on sentences or sentence fragments. Otherwise, nicely done. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2021
|
I really enjoyed the way you told a full story - beginning, middle and end -in rhyme. You used the right amount of detail, and your rhymes are well-chosen. Your poem is very relatable, as you describe exactly what many people would feel in similar situations, from the fear of spiders in the basement, to the nausea at seeing what the dog left behind. I certainly related, having seen a similar situation with a little Yorkie left for about an hour in a car, who produced an amount of stool you'd expect to see from a horse, and managed to track it everywhere from the seats to the doors and ceiling. I certainly felt what you describe.
The only thing I would suggest is that you review the work for punctuation, i.e., adding periods and semicolons, so you avoid run-on sentences or sentence fragments. Otherwise, nicely done. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2021
-
Thanks so much for the kind review and the suggestions. I'm never sure what is appropriate for punctuation when it comes to poems. I had to laugh at your description of the mess left behind in your car. Thanks for sharing.
-
You're very welcome, on all counts. While it certainly wasn't funny at the time, the image of tiny, poopy paw prints on the car roof does make for a fun story to tell.
Comment from Boogienights
What a terrific story! Some people just have weak stomachs, but I do agree that dogs should be let outside if it's just for the day. As long as the weathers nice, I think they'd prefer it. Best of luck in the contest. :)
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2021
|
What a terrific story! Some people just have weak stomachs, but I do agree that dogs should be let outside if it's just for the day. As long as the weathers nice, I think they'd prefer it. Best of luck in the contest. :)
Comment Written 30-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2021
-
Thanks so much for the kind review. You never know what will happen when a dog is left to its own devices. Of course intestinal issues aren't something they have control over.
Comment from J. Dennis
Oh Sparky! What a character you are.
This poem told a story of an incident that I would even think is humorous. And trust me I have cleaned up dog and cat accidents. (?)
But the child did chicken out and really needed to be an assistant. (opinion)
The poem is cute. It has a nice rhythm. It tells a fun story. And I hope that Sparky is out of the doghouse by now.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2021
|
Oh Sparky! What a character you are.
This poem told a story of an incident that I would even think is humorous. And trust me I have cleaned up dog and cat accidents. (?)
But the child did chicken out and really needed to be an assistant. (opinion)
The poem is cute. It has a nice rhythm. It tells a fun story. And I hope that Sparky is out of the doghouse by now.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2021
-
Thanks for your review and comments. Some people have a stronger constitution I suppose. Having a pet does require the discipline to clean up after them.
Comment from Susan Newell
This is delightful poem that can be understood by anyone who as owned a pet. Unfortunately, separation anxiety can cause dogs to lose control of their bowels. I fear that many dogs acquired for company during the pandemic won't fare well when their people return to the workplace. This is an excellent entry for the contest.
One grammar thing: "Across the wet sand, us five we did roam" ==> we five did roam
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2021
|
This is delightful poem that can be understood by anyone who as owned a pet. Unfortunately, separation anxiety can cause dogs to lose control of their bowels. I fear that many dogs acquired for company during the pandemic won't fare well when their people return to the workplace. This is an excellent entry for the contest.
One grammar thing: "Across the wet sand, us five we did roam" ==> we five did roam
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2021
-
Thank you for reviewing Susan, and for pointing out the error. I'll see if I can go in and correct it.
-
You are welcome.
