Comment from zanya

Excellent

I laughed and laughed on reading this poem - reminds me of my own hoarding habits and the 'precious' items ( for me at least) that I can't bring myself to get rid of- an especially telling line ''I will just dust around../and hope my leaning piles won't fall'- can only award a virtual 6!

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2021

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reply by the author on 30-Sep-2021

Thank you for such a nice review, it's so appreciated. :)

Comment from Anne Johnston

Excellent

I like your poem, great rhyming and an interesting subject. I am sure that all of us can relate to your thoughts. How often we decide to get rid of some things, but then we think we just can't for whatever reason.

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2021

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reply by the author on 30-Sep-2021

Thanks so much for reading my poem and for this great review. :)

reply by Anne Johnston on 30-Sep-2021

You are welcome.

Comment from kiwigirl2821

Excellent

Your mess is a familiar one! Sometimes I wish I had such a mess myself. I certainly had a man who focused on these kinds of things! They just didn't understand what we see when we look at these kinds of messes. Well written. Good luck! xoxo Kiwi

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2021

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reply by the author on 30-Sep-2021

Thank you for this great review. I'm definitely aware of the messes I'm creating with my stuff....I just can't help myself, lol. Thanks again for reading. :)

Comment from Eternal Muse

Excellent

You make a mess shine with your poetic words! (smile). A perfectly rhyming, metered and well presented poem about how mess occurs and feeling helpless seeing it.

I'm running out of space you see,
for all my books and journals too.
Pennies, trinkets, and pottery,
are piled so high, makes me blue.

Space if a huge problem, and where to put things you love when there is no room (lol).

Excellent imagery and visuals. Good luck in this interesting contest.

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2021

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reply by the author on 30-Sep-2021

Thanks so much for this nice review. :)

Comment from LisaMay

Excellent

I get the picture, with that image and your words - it is much like my own messy home! Trying to de-clutter requires far too much painful decision-making, so the mess just gets bigger.

Your poem mostly reads smoothly, with a majority of 8-syllable lines, then gets 'bumpy' when there are 7 or 9 syllables.

I've made a couple of suggestions below for your consideration to even out the flow (this is just me entertaining myself by messing with your poem... ignoring me might be a better option for you):

Yours:
I have a problem I must admit,
one I really must address.
Mine:
I have a problem, I admit;
it's one I really must address.

Yours:
Pennies, pottery, souvenirs,
are piled high, it makes me blue.
Mine:
Pennies, trinkets, and pottery,
are piled so high, it makes me blue.

Yours:
Every corner, shelf, and stand,
Mine:
Every corner, bookshelf, and stand,

Yours:
and hope my piles will not fall.
Mine:
and hope my leaning piles won't fall.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2021

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reply by the author on 30-Sep-2021

Thank you, all your suggestions are excellent and I've taken them to heart. I really appreciate the help. :) I meant to push the nominate button and now I can't remember if I did! 🤔 Do you know how I can still di it? You deserve it.

reply by LisaMay on 30-Sep-2021

Thanks for appreciating my suggestions! I think you can nominate someone by going into their profile and on the left there is a list of topics, one of which says nominate. Thanks for the thought!