Holding Doors
Compassion3 total reviews
Comment from Ricky1024
"Holding Doors"
Written in kind of a grieving but gentlemanly way.
Once we get knocked down on our keysters.
She usually up to us too rise.
Rise!
Rise!
And, rise some more get your bruised butt out that door!
Your loving sister will show you the way!
And, with a little of Jesus's help?
Yes, you'll be all right that day!
...
Rich in theme and imagery as it flowed well and read well with No Grammar Issues.
Doctor Ricky 1024
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2021
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"Holding Doors"
Written in kind of a grieving but gentlemanly way.
Once we get knocked down on our keysters.
She usually up to us too rise.
Rise!
Rise!
And, rise some more get your bruised butt out that door!
Your loving sister will show you the way!
And, with a little of Jesus's help?
Yes, you'll be all right that day!
...
Rich in theme and imagery as it flowed well and read well with No Grammar Issues.
Doctor Ricky 1024
Comment Written 28-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2021
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Thanks for an interesting review which baffled me.
Comment from pookietoo
Another great poem. You are so great. An interesting subject. Have a wonderful week. Keep smiling and enjoy life. Keep writing your poems. A friend, pookietoo.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2021
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Another great poem. You are so great. An interesting subject. Have a wonderful week. Keep smiling and enjoy life. Keep writing your poems. A friend, pookietoo.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2021
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Thank you friend. Enjoy your day.
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Welcome.
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
Hi, this is a beautiful poem about you and your sister, who gave you a second chance. I suggested some revisions, but wasn't sure in some instances where to go, in terms of past and present tenses.
Here are my suggestions:
Everyone gone through the door
-->
Everyone went through the door
One day the pain too much
-->
One day the pain became too much
I cry to God above
-->
I cried to God above
Jesus He swoops down and then
-->
Jesus He swooped down and then
You help me to start again
-->
You helped me to start again
You help me off the floor
-->
You helped me off the floor
You wait til I find the door
-->
You waited til I find the door
***
I appreciate the way you cried out to God and Jesus, and I believe He answered you. You are receiving the help you need, the love you need, coming through that door.
The doors in the photo are so interesting, antique and somewhat damaged, but still so beautiful, and of course, functional. Great poetry!
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2021
|
Hi, this is a beautiful poem about you and your sister, who gave you a second chance. I suggested some revisions, but wasn't sure in some instances where to go, in terms of past and present tenses.
Here are my suggestions:
Everyone gone through the door
-->
Everyone went through the door
One day the pain too much
-->
One day the pain became too much
I cry to God above
-->
I cried to God above
Jesus He swoops down and then
-->
Jesus He swooped down and then
You help me to start again
-->
You helped me to start again
You help me off the floor
-->
You helped me off the floor
You wait til I find the door
-->
You waited til I find the door
***
I appreciate the way you cried out to God and Jesus, and I believe He answered you. You are receiving the help you need, the love you need, coming through that door.
The doors in the photo are so interesting, antique and somewhat damaged, but still so beautiful, and of course, functional. Great poetry!
Comment Written 28-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2021
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Thank you for taking the time you have with my poem; I appreciate your efforts. This was a long time ago but so powerful it made a lasting impression.
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You're very welcome, Carlos' Girl. Wonderful poem, but I'm happy for you that you've moved on to a happier situation in life. God bless you.
Love, Mary Kay xoxo
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Praise be to God
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Amen!
