Football - A Novel
Viewing comments for Chapter 54 "Football Chapter 28 part 1"A mother faces life's struggles.
34 total reviews
Comment from judiverse
Gabriel and Katherine are smart to cool it as long as they still have the PI and the in-laws' custody suit to content with. I hope you'll have some scenes involving the lawyers. There's so much tension going on, no wonder Jeremy has been "forgetting" to do his homework. Katherine needs to be the one to deal with the boys' problems, at least at this stage. Great developments in the story. Now I'll be interested to hear how the custody thing turns out. judi
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2021
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Gabriel and Katherine are smart to cool it as long as they still have the PI and the in-laws' custody suit to content with. I hope you'll have some scenes involving the lawyers. There's so much tension going on, no wonder Jeremy has been "forgetting" to do his homework. Katherine needs to be the one to deal with the boys' problems, at least at this stage. Great developments in the story. Now I'll be interested to hear how the custody thing turns out. judi
Comment Written 26-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2021
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Thank you for the kind review.
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You're welcome. Here's hoping Katherine makes it through the school year without any more problems coming up. judi
Comment from Ric Myworld
It's nice to get to read another fine chapter that, I wasn't expecting. I'm sorry that you fell, broke your wrist, and banged up your knees. But like your husband pointed out, it's great that it wasn't worse with the bone density shortage. Hope you are feeling better soon!
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2021
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It's nice to get to read another fine chapter that, I wasn't expecting. I'm sorry that you fell, broke your wrist, and banged up your knees. But like your husband pointed out, it's great that it wasn't worse with the bone density shortage. Hope you are feeling better soon!
Comment Written 26-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2021
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from amahra
I know I keep saying this, but another fine chapter, Barbara. I can't wait for the obstacles to clear so these two can be together without fear of consequences. They so deserve each other. Only caught one thing: The lingering kiss scene is a bit repetitive with...kiss three times and lingering kiss twice in the same paragraph.
He matched that kiss with a lingering kiss, [He matched [her] kiss with a lingering [one.]
but paused for a second lingering kiss. [but paused for a kiss that took her breath away.] or something of that nature. But so loved the chapter.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2021
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I know I keep saying this, but another fine chapter, Barbara. I can't wait for the obstacles to clear so these two can be together without fear of consequences. They so deserve each other. Only caught one thing: The lingering kiss scene is a bit repetitive with...kiss three times and lingering kiss twice in the same paragraph.
He matched that kiss with a lingering kiss, [He matched [her] kiss with a lingering [one.]
but paused for a second lingering kiss. [but paused for a kiss that took her breath away.] or something of that nature. But so loved the chapter.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2021
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Thank you for the encouragement. I made the changes.
Comment from AJ McCall
Aww, Barbara!! I hope you recover quickly and safely! I'm glad you weren't hurt too badly. Falls are never good. Concerning the chapter, I'm intrigued as always, and can't wait until Katherine and Gabriel's issues melt away so they can be together... happily ever after.
I did notice one typo: Her lips formed a pout. "I'll try to (I) wait 'til Sunday."
Don't rush to write the next chapter, us readers can wait. Your recovery is much more important. Get well!
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2021
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Aww, Barbara!! I hope you recover quickly and safely! I'm glad you weren't hurt too badly. Falls are never good. Concerning the chapter, I'm intrigued as always, and can't wait until Katherine and Gabriel's issues melt away so they can be together... happily ever after.
I did notice one typo: Her lips formed a pout. "I'll try to (I) wait 'til Sunday."
Don't rush to write the next chapter, us readers can wait. Your recovery is much more important. Get well!
Comment Written 26-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2021
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Thank you for the encouragement.
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You're welcome!
Comment from BethShelby
I always look forward to these chapters. Gabriel being like a father to the boys and he really seems care deeply for Katherine. I'm so sorry to hear about your fall. It would certainly be hard to type with only one hand.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2021
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I always look forward to these chapters. Gabriel being like a father to the boys and he really seems care deeply for Katherine. I'm so sorry to hear about your fall. It would certainly be hard to type with only one hand.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2021
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I can't even hook my bra!!!! There's so many things one needs 2 hands for. Thank you fo the kind review.
Comment from Judy Lawless
I really like this chapter, Barbara. Gabriel is a natural father figure to Katherine's boys and he's earned respect from her too. Well done. So sorry to hear about your fall resulting in a broken wrist. In some ways that's worse than a hip, because at least you could type.ð???
"progress reports need to (be)ready today"
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2021
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I really like this chapter, Barbara. Gabriel is a natural father figure to Katherine's boys and he's earned respect from her too. Well done. So sorry to hear about your fall resulting in a broken wrist. In some ways that's worse than a hip, because at least you could type.ð???
"progress reports need to (be)ready today"
Comment Written 26-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2021
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I just added that little word. I tend to leave those little words out. I appreciate the catch.
Comment from Sankey
So glad you are still with us but sorry for the reason. Another good read. A pleasant surprise you were here. One spag in your comments...chemo stole 75% of m[t](y) bone density
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2021
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So glad you are still with us but sorry for the reason. Another good read. A pleasant surprise you were here. One spag in your comments...chemo stole 75% of m[t](y) bone density
Comment Written 26-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2021
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Thank you for the kind review. Fixed it.
Comment from royowen
I'm so sorry you broke your wrist, and I've prayed for your healing.
Great progress in the relationship between Gabriel and Katherine. They are becoming more like a couple, and the wonderful thing is, Gabe's becoming more like a Step dad each day too, they may well be a "genuine" couple before long. Beautifully written Barbara, blessings Roy
Typo : Progress reports (that) need to be ready. 2: I know mom. You want (to) check it.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2021
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I'm so sorry you broke your wrist, and I've prayed for your healing.
Great progress in the relationship between Gabriel and Katherine. They are becoming more like a couple, and the wonderful thing is, Gabe's becoming more like a Step dad each day too, they may well be a "genuine" couple before long. Beautifully written Barbara, blessings Roy
Typo : Progress reports (that) need to be ready. 2: I know mom. You want (to) check it.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2021
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Ugh! Those crazy little important words. I appreciate the catch.
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Well done
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara, I am really so very sorry about your fall and that your holiday had to be postponed. That was really bad luck. Please get better soon.
This was another fine chapter and they are getting closer to each other. Aren't they? I only found a few things:
"I owe you apology. I'm sorry I fell asleep." = "I owe you an apology. I'm ..."
You want check it." = You want to check it?"
"I'll try to I wait 'til Sunday." = delete 'I' from the sentence.
It was lucky you didn't have a worse accident. I'm thinking of you. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2021
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Hi Barbara, I am really so very sorry about your fall and that your holiday had to be postponed. That was really bad luck. Please get better soon.
This was another fine chapter and they are getting closer to each other. Aren't they? I only found a few things:
"I owe you apology. I'm sorry I fell asleep." = "I owe you an apology. I'm ..."
You want check it." = You want to check it?"
"I'll try to I wait 'til Sunday." = delete 'I' from the sentence.
It was lucky you didn't have a worse accident. I'm thinking of you. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 26-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2021
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Thank you for the kind review. I just read your wonderful post, but I don't remember giving you a six. If I didn't, I'm sorry.
Comment from Cristine22
I like how we see some growth in the relationship and the kiss at the end was fun. I wasn't sure who the main character was through most of it. I think more introspection would help clear that up as well as give a greater sense of emotion.
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reply by the author on 26-Sep-2021
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I like how we see some growth in the relationship and the kiss at the end was fun. I wasn't sure who the main character was through most of it. I think more introspection would help clear that up as well as give a greater sense of emotion.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2021
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I feel if you had been with me you since the beginning you would've known who the main characters were. There has been 54 posts since day one. Everybody else does. Thank you for dropping by.
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I'm sure you're absolutely right that I would have known who the main character was if I'd read from the beginning. I only mentioned it because in the best novels I've read, the main character, or, at least the point of view character (in those with more than one) is clear throughout. I just thought you'd like to know that it wasn't clear in what I read. I'm very sorry if you thought my review was overly critical. It was absolutely not my intention.
