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Football - A Novel

Viewing comments for Chapter 53 "Football Chapter 27 part 1"
A mother faces life's struggles.

26 total reviews 
Comment from judiverse
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Your muse was right. It should also advise Gabriel to lay off all the attention. Let her at least get through the school year. He's just making things more difficult for Katherine, especially with the custody situation still unsettled. I take it this isn't a very large town, so being seen together grocery shopping will already add to the rumor mill. Hot dogs and then pizza? Some diet, but that's just what the boys like. Enjoy your vacation! It's high time you get to see your family. judi

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 19-Sep-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
reply by judiverse on 19-Sep-2021
    You're very welcome. judi
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
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Gabriel is so much a part this family. The boys are crazy about him and I'm sure Katherine is in love with him too. It is a treat to get to read another chapter every Sunday, but if you are with your mom and have no internet we will understand. I hope you have a wonderful visit. I'm thankful that all my family ate near me and I haven't had to misss seeing them because of the virus.

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 19-Sep-2021
    I will be with my children on Sunday, so I am hoping to still post. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from lancellot
Excellent
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This is a well written chapter, and it perfect step with what you have already established between Gabe and Kate, plus her kids.

"Grocery shopping together confirms we're in a relationship. We'll be the talk of the town."

- you've mentioned things like this before. I think you may want to explain sooner or later. Why two teachers who behave like twelve-year-olds with crush would be the talk of the town. What kind of town do they live in?

I think spending two or three chapters away from your main characters and showcasing the world they live in, would he helpful. We need to see this strange world.

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 19-Sep-2021
    It's small town America, and yes it still happens. I, right now, live in small town America. I know for fact it still happens. I have lived in large cities, Chicago, Atlanta, Washington DC. I do understand how somebody who has never lived in small town America would not understand this. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Excellent
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thank you for the wonderful music...have a great vacation. Enjoy your grandchildren..they grow up too fast. And your mom is a good age. Glad that she is doing great. Like your story, as usual.

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 Comment Written 19-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 19-Sep-2021
    Thank you for everything.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Excellent
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Wonderful chapter. Rich and real. Sly comeback to "Debby Does Dallas"!


typos:

"I don't want to go. I want to help. I eat most my dinners here, so it's only right I help." He glanced around. "When ARE we going?"

His eyes twinkled as they met hers. "I'm still not sleeping with you until the [times=>time's] right."

Indian=>Indiana Jones (unless you mean for her to get it wrong)




Have a great trip. Hilarious note about Gabriel NOT having a baby--wry reference to the publisher's rejection of your book for not featuring a pregnant man.

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 Comment Written 19-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 19-Sep-2021
    Thank you for the corrections. I have made them.
Comment from Ulla
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Barbara, this was a great chapter and I really liked it. I didn't see anything to correct. The only problem I have is the diet. It's the most unhealthy food and sends the wrong message. How can they be sporty and eat all that junk. I'm sorry, but I live at the Med and eat the diet here which is one of the best in the world. Well, I always have. I was brought up with it. I hope I haven't offended you.
Now you have a great time visiting your family. Ulla xx

 Comment Written 19-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 19-Sep-2021
    No problem, but it tends to be a normal small town breakfast. LOL Thank you for the kind review.