Reviews from

Football - A Novel

Viewing comments for Chapter 51 "Football Chapter 26 part 1"
A mother faces life's struggles.

26 total reviews 
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Excellent. He is going to make a good recovery. I hope he doesn't collapse at the next game! Gabriel is very understanding towards Katherine and her insecurities, and he is certainly a good man. Well done.
Wendy

 Comment Written 06-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2021
    Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Begin Again
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Nicely done, Barbara. We just might be getting somewhere with these two though I don't imagine the continued pathway to love will be smooth sailing. I love how Gabriel continues to be a terrific guy regardless that his "past image" says otherwise. Bravo! A very heartwarming moment and a lot of connections are being made (slowly but surely).

Smiles, Carol

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2021
    Thank you for the kind review. I can promise some problems lurking for these two.
Comment from nomi338
Excellent
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I will get my wedding suit ready. There is no way these two will not be married one of these days. No rush, but despite any setbacks, these two will be one in due time. Of that I am totally sure. I love it.

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2021
    There are many more issues these two need to overcome before the wedding and a strange wedding at that.
Comment from Ben Colder
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This hospital scene really is a take. It creates something I have not yet seen in your writings. A deep sense of concern, not just a tap dance. Very good write, Barb. We got two votes for the book of the month. LOL.

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2021
    Thank you for the encouragement. I know, only two. Oh well. I'm lucky to be nominated.
reply by Ben Colder on 06-Sep-2021
    You know I will always vote for you. I am finishing the novel that you showed an interest in. I will keep in touch.
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2021
    Please keep in touch.
Comment from Jay Squires
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

A marvelous chapter, Barbara. I think all the novels you have written have paid dividends in the skill you exhibit today. You are an exceptional writer.

Katherine and Gabriel have known each other for 29 days. [Just curious: Are you updating this every week? Or are you talking about time within the framework of the novel?]

I love the character you've developed in Gabriel. He is always consistently within character. When Katherine admits to owing him an apology, he says: "Probably. But I understand." How classically Gabriel is that?!





 Comment Written 05-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2021
    I update the days by the novel. Since they met day 1. I keep a running total because some people feel they should jump in bed. Gabriel is classy. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

It never gets easier to watch ours and other's children lying on the court or field, depending on the sport. But thankfully, most of the injuries heal. Thanks for another fine chapter.

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from tfawcus
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I'm loving the way you are gradually bringing these two together, As always, your dialogue is natural and flawless. You mix the deeper feelings of the heart with everyday occurrences in a way that makes them very realistic.
I think I must have missed a chapter, so must go back and read it.
Sorry, it's been a busy time for me recently!

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2021
    I do understand busy. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ulla
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Awe, this is a great chapter, Barbara, and finally they are professing their love for each other. It was about time too. I loved this chapter. I see happy endings coming. All best, Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 06-Sep-2021
    I can promise these two more turmoil. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Judy Lawless
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a great chapter, Barbara. Happy endings are on the agenda this week it seems. And after only 29 days, Katherine and Gabriel have revealed their falling in love with each other. Sometimes it doesn't take long. Beautiful job.

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 05-Sep-2021
    Thank you for the kind review. They will continue to have a rocky road.
Comment from lancellot
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is another well written chapter. It shows them confessing their love for each other. And mentions Kathrine's former husband being bad to her, but we never saw that. We were just told. I think that area is one you should consider. We are told more things than we see in evidence.

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2021


reply by the author on 05-Sep-2021
    When Katherine moves to Texas, George is already dead. It might be hard to show it. It's all back story. More of their relationship will come out, but again, it's all backstory. I am not disagreeing with you, I am just not sure how to get back story in without telling it. There area at least two situations that I can think of right now where it's described he's a horrible person, but it happened in the past. I will think about it, please let me know of any ideas you have.
reply by lancellot on 05-Sep-2021
    You can have Katherine tell of her marriage to explain her hesitation with intimacy, then show flashbacks. Actually, this is 3rd person. You could simply start a chapter April 4, 2001. Then show Katherine ten years ago. Or show why Coach loves her. Because really, she hasn't done anything for Coach to deserve love or like (she has given him nothing). He mostly helps her life.

    But, you don't have to, if your readers do not require real life reasons.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2021
    I will consider that, I have been told from articles I've read about the danger of writing flashbacks. I will do more research.
reply by lancellot on 05-Sep-2021
    That's true, too many aren't good, depending on how it's done. But, when writing in 3rd person or omnipresence. You are god. You can go into anyone's head, any place, and my favorite: Any time.