Moving Mountains
flash kidnapped story20 total reviews
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
I seem to have fallen asleep and missed a lot of what has been going on. And what a wonderful thing to (nearly) miss. It is a great story in so few words, and it has already received it's just deserts! exquisite concision is all I have to add.
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I seem to have fallen asleep and missed a lot of what has been going on. And what a wonderful thing to (nearly) miss. It is a great story in so few words, and it has already received it's just deserts! exquisite concision is all I have to add.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2021
Comment from Liz O'Neill
This was excellent. You kept the reader in suspense with no foreshadowing clues to qwell the anxiety. We were sitting, blind, to the goings-on around us. I do not care for practical jokes. I would be angry at my 'friends' if I were Gil. This would be a good topic of discussion. This is an A+ level of work.
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This was excellent. You kept the reader in suspense with no foreshadowing clues to qwell the anxiety. We were sitting, blind, to the goings-on around us. I do not care for practical jokes. I would be angry at my 'friends' if I were Gil. This would be a good topic of discussion. This is an A+ level of work.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2021
Comment from Bill Schott
This kidnapped story, Moving Mountains, is the best kind of kidnapping, where everyone smiles at the end and gets drunk. I always thought this phrase was the opposite, but there is no research to back me up.
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This kidnapped story, Moving Mountains, is the best kind of kidnapping, where everyone smiles at the end and gets drunk. I always thought this phrase was the opposite, but there is no research to back me up.
Comment Written 08-Sep-2021
Comment from karenina
Alrighty then! Party time! Gotta admit you had me at full throttle heading for a grizzly scene... A masterful misdirection! Cheers to the author! (Whoever you are!)
Sadly he's still destined for torture....he's getting married!
(Just kidding! -- kinda)
I wanted to be review 17--- kick this onto Recognized Status!
:)
Karenina
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Alrighty then! Party time! Gotta admit you had me at full throttle heading for a grizzly scene... A masterful misdirection! Cheers to the author! (Whoever you are!)
Sadly he's still destined for torture....he's getting married!
(Just kidding! -- kinda)
I wanted to be review 17--- kick this onto Recognized Status!
:)
Karenina
Comment Written 08-Sep-2021
Comment from Wendy G
This is a clever story, as we are led to expect the worst possible outcome. Only to find it's a bachelor party. You have written it well, maintaining the interest throughout. Good wishes for your entry in the contest.
Wendy
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This is a clever story, as we are led to expect the worst possible outcome. Only to find it's a bachelor party. You have written it well, maintaining the interest throughout. Good wishes for your entry in the contest.
Wendy
Comment Written 07-Sep-2021
Comment from Midi O'Rourke
This is excellent. I didn't see the end coming at all. You painted a picture of a confused kidnapped man in a, what I assumed, to be a wretched little room where people get tortured and shot. I think this sentence is awkward. It confuses me: He spun around to come face-to-face with his best man, Conor, grin splitting his in two.
Grin splitting hi what in two..Maybe rephrase and cut it into two sentences.
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This is excellent. I didn't see the end coming at all. You painted a picture of a confused kidnapped man in a, what I assumed, to be a wretched little room where people get tortured and shot. I think this sentence is awkward. It confuses me: He spun around to come face-to-face with his best man, Conor, grin splitting his in two.
Grin splitting hi what in two..Maybe rephrase and cut it into two sentences.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2021
Comment from Judy Lawless
Magnificent writing! I didn't really want to read about an horrific outcome to this kidnapping, so I'm thrilled that it was a practical joke by a group of friends. Some bachelor party! Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2021
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Magnificent writing! I didn't really want to read about an horrific outcome to this kidnapping, so I'm thrilled that it was a practical joke by a group of friends. Some bachelor party! Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2021
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Many thanks for the great response to this piece.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Ha ha ha, these stag nights can get a little out of hand as this one did here, a punishment for agreeing to wed, one last night of freedom before these guys are kidnapped and shackled for life, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2021
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Ha ha ha, these stag nights can get a little out of hand as this one did here, a punishment for agreeing to wed, one last night of freedom before these guys are kidnapped and shackled for life, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 04-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2021
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Thank you for the review.
Comment from LJbutterfly
This story is compelling and filled with mystery throughout. It started with creatively dark imagery and has a delightful and humorous ending. Your picture is stunning and pairs perfectly with the story. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2021
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This story is compelling and filled with mystery throughout. It started with creatively dark imagery and has a delightful and humorous ending. Your picture is stunning and pairs perfectly with the story. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2021
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Many thanks for reading this one.
Comment from Sherry Asbury
Great story - not at all what I expected. You did a great job with mystery and suspense! I was sure we were in for blood and guts spilling - or worse. Very good - most excellent, my friend.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2021
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Great story - not at all what I expected. You did a great job with mystery and suspense! I was sure we were in for blood and guts spilling - or worse. Very good - most excellent, my friend.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2021
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Thank you very much for the review.
