The Chronicals Of Bethica: The Rise
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "The Chronicles Of Bethica"Abram must defeat a deadly humanoid race of beings
17 total reviews
Comment from Mary Shifman
Once again, I really enjoyed this chapter of the book. It is an exciting, action packed chapter that keeps the reader on edge. And the Drake talks! I hadn't expected that. I look forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2021
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Once again, I really enjoyed this chapter of the book. It is an exciting, action packed chapter that keeps the reader on edge. And the Drake talks! I hadn't expected that. I look forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2021
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Thank you so much, my dear.
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You are so welcome!
Comment from Trevor Holden
Amahra, I think your story has so many possibilities and I believe your main strength is creating an engaging, interesting principal storyline. The events which happen in your story are very imaginative and in most cases so unexpected that they keep you guessing what will happen next. I am guessing your favourite author maybe someone like a Michael Moorcock. However, as a great lover of Fantasy and Sci Fi, I feel that your story could be so much better with attention to 2 areas, firstly the development of characters; lets hear what one character thinks about the other, ie Dinary seems like a control freak, what does Letty think about that, and does she know why that is? The other is expanding descriptions of dramatic events, remembering you want the reader to totally envisage the scene and be wonderstruck, and you are creating the images. Please remember this is my opinion, but I am well read in your chosen genre. Keep up the good work Amahra. Best wishes
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reply by the author on 14-Sep-2021
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Amahra, I think your story has so many possibilities and I believe your main strength is creating an engaging, interesting principal storyline. The events which happen in your story are very imaginative and in most cases so unexpected that they keep you guessing what will happen next. I am guessing your favourite author maybe someone like a Michael Moorcock. However, as a great lover of Fantasy and Sci Fi, I feel that your story could be so much better with attention to 2 areas, firstly the development of characters; lets hear what one character thinks about the other, ie Dinary seems like a control freak, what does Letty think about that, and does she know why that is? The other is expanding descriptions of dramatic events, remembering you want the reader to totally envisage the scene and be wonderstruck, and you are creating the images. Please remember this is my opinion, but I am well read in your chosen genre. Keep up the good work Amahra. Best wishes
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2021
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thanks for the review.
Comment from Jay Squires
You sure know how to orchestrate adventure in your stories, Amahra. You did a fine job of it.
I only had a few notes as I read:
Celio shuttered at the thought of being bitten by one. [Celio SHUDDERED at the thought ...]
They saw fragments of past abandon caravans. [... of past-ABANDONED caravans]
Soft thuds of bundles hitting the ground filled the air. Everyone stretched and made grunting sounds like an off-key choir. [Good image]
I don't know that that was Gangus's brightest hour moving all his men in to a black cave, but it looks as if they found what they were coming in search of.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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You sure know how to orchestrate adventure in your stories, Amahra. You did a fine job of it.
I only had a few notes as I read:
Celio shuttered at the thought of being bitten by one. [Celio SHUDDERED at the thought ...]
They saw fragments of past abandon caravans. [... of past-ABANDONED caravans]
Soft thuds of bundles hitting the ground filled the air. Everyone stretched and made grunting sounds like an off-key choir. [Good image]
I don't know that that was Gangus's brightest hour moving all his men in to a black cave, but it looks as if they found what they were coming in search of.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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Thank you so much, Jay. I made those corrections.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This Fantasy Fiction speaks the chronicles in a balanced order, expressively, promoted the theme thru a linked plot, fostered by real like characters and realistic dialogues; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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This Fantasy Fiction speaks the chronicles in a balanced order, expressively, promoted the theme thru a linked plot, fostered by real like characters and realistic dialogues; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
Comment Written 13-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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Thank you very much, ALCREATOR.
Comment from Ric Myworld
We must always be careful what we look for. We might find it. And then, what we will do is the next question, and even the best laid plans aren't the perfect answers. Thanks for sharing another fine chapter.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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We must always be careful what we look for. We might find it. And then, what we will do is the next question, and even the best laid plans aren't the perfect answers. Thanks for sharing another fine chapter.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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Thank you, Ric.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I don't like the idea of having to wait to see how this battle goes. So far out group hasn't had a lot of luck in the Badlands. I sure hope it changes. This is a good write and the descriptions and emotions are very good.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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I don't like the idea of having to wait to see how this battle goes. So far out group hasn't had a lot of luck in the Badlands. I sure hope it changes. This is a good write and the descriptions and emotions are very good.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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Thank you for reviewing, Barbara.
Comment from royowen
So after many trying times in pursuit of the drake, they've finally met it in a deep dark cave, this is a most fascinating part of your story Amahra. I love this, you are a most imaginative and resourceful writer, this unique among the science fantasies I've read, well done, blessings Roy
Typo : Other creature (caucases) corpses? Caucus is a body in a legislature
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reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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So after many trying times in pursuit of the drake, they've finally met it in a deep dark cave, this is a most fascinating part of your story Amahra. I love this, you are a most imaginative and resourceful writer, this unique among the science fantasies I've read, well done, blessings Roy
Typo : Other creature (caucases) corpses? Caucus is a body in a legislature
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Comment Written 13-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2021
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Thank you so much, Roy. I got the spelling of caucases (which is not even a word) confused with carcasses. Thanks, again.
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It?s not hard to do dear friend, don?t worry, fortunately it sometimes ?looks? wrong. Heh heh
