Football - A Novel
Viewing comments for Chapter 50 "Football Chapter 25 part 2"A mother faces life's struggles.
26 total reviews
Comment from Wendy G
Thankfully it looks like he will be fine! But the relationship will will need some working on, as Katherine seems to be quite ready to see the worst in Gabriel. It continues to maintain the interest very well. Thanks you.
Wendy
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2021
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Thankfully it looks like he will be fine! But the relationship will will need some working on, as Katherine seems to be quite ready to see the worst in Gabriel. It continues to maintain the interest very well. Thanks you.
Wendy
Comment Written 29-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2021
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Katherine has issues with jocks. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from nomi338
Some might think that Katherine was not being fair, but when it comes down to being truly scared to death about the welfare of your child, there is no such thing as fair or unfair. To his credit, the coach was well aware of this and did not try to fight against it.
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2021
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Some might think that Katherine was not being fair, but when it comes down to being truly scared to death about the welfare of your child, there is no such thing as fair or unfair. To his credit, the coach was well aware of this and did not try to fight against it.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2021
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Thank you for the kind review and understanding. I am pretty sure it wasn't his first trip to the hospital with and injured player.
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I am most happy that the young man was not more seriously injured.
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is certainly a week of emotional posts. You've captured many in this well-written chapter, Barbara. They are all so plausible and the dialogue is believable. I'm glad Jordan has regained consciousness and seems to be going to be alright. I enjoyed reading this and look forward to the next one.
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2021
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This is certainly a week of emotional posts. You've captured many in this well-written chapter, Barbara. They are all so plausible and the dialogue is believable. I'm glad Jordan has regained consciousness and seems to be going to be alright. I enjoyed reading this and look forward to the next one.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2021
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Barb,
You know how to (as I said before) keep us readers feeling tense.
There is one part of your story that kept me wondering was Gabriel's reaction to Jordon being unconscious; was to me upset and didn't know what he could do.
Makes me ask, will Katherine see it wasn't Gabriel's fault.
I'm hoping that Gabriel and Katherine will still have the feelings that they had for each other will continue.
Gert
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2021
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Barb,
You know how to (as I said before) keep us readers feeling tense.
There is one part of your story that kept me wondering was Gabriel's reaction to Jordon being unconscious; was to me upset and didn't know what he could do.
Makes me ask, will Katherine see it wasn't Gabriel's fault.
I'm hoping that Gabriel and Katherine will still have the feelings that they had for each other will continue.
Gert
Comment Written 29-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2021
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Thank you for the kind review. Next week your questions will be answered.
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You are Welcome Barb
Gert
bar
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
I don't know what you felt needed rewriting but you can be assured you did a brilliant job of it!
Is there any way [SUGG OMIT COMMA] his mom can remain in the room with him?"
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2021
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I don't know what you felt needed rewriting but you can be assured you did a brilliant job of it!
Is there any way [SUGG OMIT COMMA] his mom can remain in the room with him?"
Comment Written 29-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2021
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I will omit that comma. Thank you for the catch.
Comment from Sankey
You did real well at conveying all the feelings, all around. Such a good read, as usual. Glad Gabriel is behaving. Not sure about the comma?? "Is there any way[,??] his mom
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2021
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You did real well at conveying all the feelings, all around. Such a good read, as usual. Glad Gabriel is behaving. Not sure about the comma?? "Is there any way[,??] his mom
Comment Written 29-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2021
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I will omit that comma. Thank you for the catch.
Comment from royowen
Katherine and Gabriel have had Their moments, bur obviously the game itself has some danger to it, we have had some problems with our particular game of Aussie rules, because it's so fast, none of codes, rugby as well, have no armour, concussion has become an issue, players are dropped for four week compulsorily, but no one can stop them playing, it's up to the individual players. Well done, great write Barbara, blessings Roy
Typo I hope Jordan(,) lying in that bed
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2021
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Katherine and Gabriel have had Their moments, bur obviously the game itself has some danger to it, we have had some problems with our particular game of Aussie rules, because it's so fast, none of codes, rugby as well, have no armour, concussion has become an issue, players are dropped for four week compulsorily, but no one can stop them playing, it's up to the individual players. Well done, great write Barbara, blessings Roy
Typo I hope Jordan(,) lying in that bed
Comment Written 29-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2021
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I do understand injuries, being a Mom of boys who played sports.
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I was a footballer when young
Comment from lancellot
Hmm interesting. This is well written and you write the emotional pain, worry and relief of being parent well. Kate goes through all the necessary stages, as does Gabe. He was correct in the then everything is on the coach. We will see how this incident is used by the grandparents.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2021
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Hmm interesting. This is well written and you write the emotional pain, worry and relief of being parent well. Kate goes through all the necessary stages, as does Gabe. He was correct in the then everything is on the coach. We will see how this incident is used by the grandparents.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2021
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Thank you for the kind review. Coming from you it's extra special.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara, so Jordan eventually snapped out of it. I'm so glad. That is really good news. It was a great chapter. I only have one thing to say. I think you could elaborate a bit more on the emotions they all go through. It is a bit abrupt in places. Just my hummble opinion. I love the story. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2021
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Hi Barbara, so Jordan eventually snapped out of it. I'm so glad. That is really good news. It was a great chapter. I only have one thing to say. I think you could elaborate a bit more on the emotions they all go through. It is a bit abrupt in places. Just my hummble opinion. I love the story. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 29-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2021
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I will consider that. My main problem is this novel is already over 100,000 words. I will see if I can tighten it up.
Comment from BethShelby
Katherine can turn on someone she cares about fast. Her kids aways come first, but that is a mother's nature. Still when she is upset she gets angry with Gabriel fast. It sounds like she has a reason to jump to conclusions. She felt her father cared more about football than her and she was married to an uncaring men. He character is uniquely different from the other women you've written about. I wonder if she ever forgive if her son hadn't been alright.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2021
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Katherine can turn on someone she cares about fast. Her kids aways come first, but that is a mother's nature. Still when she is upset she gets angry with Gabriel fast. It sounds like she has a reason to jump to conclusions. She felt her father cared more about football than her and she was married to an uncaring men. He character is uniquely different from the other women you've written about. I wonder if she ever forgive if her son hadn't been alright.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2021
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Good question. Thank you for the kind review.
