Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Lol. Now that was a classic comedy scene. I think the reader feels fine with Mr. Bailey as he seems to know the people who lived in that house. Cici could have asked him questions as a good neighbor could be helpful. But then a gun isn't the friendliest way to greet someone. Fun chapter!

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2021

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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2021

Thanks for the review, Helen. Any suggestions for improvement. I think I used "Em" three times in two sentences towards the end. I changed that.

reply by lyenochka on 02-Sep-2021

That's a name so I don't think that would be a problem. I can't think of anything to change because this part only leads to the next part. I think you built up the curiosity well and I wasn't scared of that neighbor considering the things he said.

Comment from Capt Cook

Excellent

I really like how you got me wanting to read more. These few paragraphs just weren't enough. So many questions but not many answers. Looks like you have a compelling mystery on your hands. Great job!

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2021

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reply by the author on 01-Sep-2021

Thaks, Capt Cook. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Any suggestions for improvement?