Leave of Absence
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Letters and Lies"Troopers life spins out of control over his family
12 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
I think you described the emotions really well considering how difficult the circumstances are. I hope there will be a way for Luke to stay with his wife but I don't know what the old high school sweetheart wants.
Suggestions in brackets or any other words to make it connect better:
He grabbed [at] his heart, [which felt] as if it would beat out of his chest.
Bugsy helped to ease the tension where Luke dropped [when] instead of where
are from [a] high school sweetheart.
remembered to breath. (breathe) for the verb
as he opened Sharon's envelop (envelope) for the noun
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2021
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I think you described the emotions really well considering how difficult the circumstances are. I hope there will be a way for Luke to stay with his wife but I don't know what the old high school sweetheart wants.
Suggestions in brackets or any other words to make it connect better:
He grabbed [at] his heart, [which felt] as if it would beat out of his chest.
Bugsy helped to ease the tension where Luke dropped [when] instead of where
are from [a] high school sweetheart.
remembered to breath. (breathe) for the verb
as he opened Sharon's envelop (envelope) for the noun
Comment Written 29-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2021
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Thanks for your steadfast reviews.
Comment from Alaskastory
"Letters and Lies" is a chapter with quite a change to the story, especially with Luke's wife making a surprise visit. Their meeting and obviously getting back together gives a slight relief, but her letters with mysterious information certainly does make the story plunge ahead. Well done!
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2021
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"Letters and Lies" is a chapter with quite a change to the story, especially with Luke's wife making a surprise visit. Their meeting and obviously getting back together gives a slight relief, but her letters with mysterious information certainly does make the story plunge ahead. Well done!
Comment Written 27-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2021
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Thanks again Marie!
Comment from Ric Myworld
Wow, this is a powerful chapter that I won't soon forget and some outstanding writing. I've read a few chapters of your book, but I just wish I had been around for the whole thing. Wish I had a well deserved six to reward this fine chapter. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
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Wow, this is a powerful chapter that I won't soon forget and some outstanding writing. I've read a few chapters of your book, but I just wish I had been around for the whole thing. Wish I had a well deserved six to reward this fine chapter. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
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Thanks Ric! Your words in review are so appreciated. Thanks for digging into this story.
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Stan.
This is really quite good. The tension is built, then it's resolved, and then there is more tension. This is certainly an unexpected step in the story. It seems there is still some level of devotion between the two. It's hard to believe from the mutual attraction they wouldn't do anything to bring their family back together. You've certainly introduced some mystery and now you have to solve it for us.
Robert
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
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Hello Stan.
This is really quite good. The tension is built, then it's resolved, and then there is more tension. This is certainly an unexpected step in the story. It seems there is still some level of devotion between the two. It's hard to believe from the mutual attraction they wouldn't do anything to bring their family back together. You've certainly introduced some mystery and now you have to solve it for us.
Robert
Comment Written 26-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
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Thanks again, Robert.
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You betcha... 😁
Comment from Ben Colder
Well, it seems as if things may be going in the right direction for a change. You made Luke look like a wholly bolly. But it seems as if things will be alright after the loft trip. LOL.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
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Well, it seems as if things may be going in the right direction for a change. You made Luke look like a wholly bolly. But it seems as if things will be alright after the loft trip. LOL.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
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Thanks again Big Ben.
Comment from royowen
An excellent post, but I don't think Sharon has done anything so heinous that couldn't be forgiven, she's behaved in a most human way, particularly for a mother of a child lost to both her and Luke. This looks like it could be the prelude to a follow up story Sharon is like every other human that ever made a mistake. Beautifully written my friend, blessings Roy
Typo : He wanted (to) draw closer. 2: Figure out how (to) make love...3: Luke threw (a) pillowcase over Mugsy. 4 : And it slap(ped) back 5 he opened Sharon's envelop(e) 6: The letters are from (a) high school sweetheart...7: she's been trying to contact (with) you...
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2021
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An excellent post, but I don't think Sharon has done anything so heinous that couldn't be forgiven, she's behaved in a most human way, particularly for a mother of a child lost to both her and Luke. This looks like it could be the prelude to a follow up story Sharon is like every other human that ever made a mistake. Beautifully written my friend, blessings Roy
Typo : He wanted (to) draw closer. 2: Figure out how (to) make love...3: Luke threw (a) pillowcase over Mugsy. 4 : And it slap(ped) back 5 he opened Sharon's envelop(e) 6: The letters are from (a) high school sweetheart...7: she's been trying to contact (with) you...
Comment Written 26-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2021
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Thanks so much Roy!
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Most welcome
Comment from Mary Shifman
Oh my, this is very interesting. I didn't see that coming. I wondered what she could have done that was so irreparable. I suppose this could be it. Depends on how much he loves his wife and how much forgiveness he has in his heart. I haven't read the previous chapters but I was able to pick up the treads pretty quickly because it is written so well. I look forward to the next chapter. Well done.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
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Oh my, this is very interesting. I didn't see that coming. I wondered what she could have done that was so irreparable. I suppose this could be it. Depends on how much he loves his wife and how much forgiveness he has in his heart. I haven't read the previous chapters but I was able to pick up the treads pretty quickly because it is written so well. I look forward to the next chapter. Well done.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
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Thanks for the encouragement. I like having the power of love and the search redemption. pleased stay tuned, and so appreciate it.
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I will do so.
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
This is such an amazing outcome for Luke. He is stunned when he sees his wife arrive with Bugsy. Further to the mystery are the letters she alludes to and the fact that they are still able to make love during this chaotic time. With Bugsy left behind, she leaves him to read the letters that will tell him a story about what has gone wrong. The first revelation that he has another daughter absolutely knocks him reeling. What more will he find out? The story has gained momentum with this news.
Ralf
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2021
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This is such an amazing outcome for Luke. He is stunned when he sees his wife arrive with Bugsy. Further to the mystery are the letters she alludes to and the fact that they are still able to make love during this chaotic time. With Bugsy left behind, she leaves him to read the letters that will tell him a story about what has gone wrong. The first revelation that he has another daughter absolutely knocks him reeling. What more will he find out? The story has gained momentum with this news.
Ralf
Comment Written 26-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2021
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Thanks so much! I was hoping to hear from someone saying this gives the story a boost.
Comment from papa55mike
The fact that she left those letters made the scene much more dramatic. What a wonderfully written chapter. Best of luck with your book!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
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The fact that she left those letters made the scene much more dramatic. What a wonderfully written chapter. Best of luck with your book!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 26-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
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Thanks, I really appreciate what you said about raising the bar on the interest for the next turn of the page.
Comment from BethShelby
I guess Sharon's great crime is keepint the letters from him so he wouldn't know he had another daughter? There must be more than that. I can see hpw a woman who cared about him might not want him to know. Apparently it was Sharon he loved since he didn't marry the other girl. Can Sharon not have other children? I looking forward to reading more. I hope it won't he too late for these two. I enjoy your writing.
are from high school sweetheart (from your high school sweetheart.)
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
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I guess Sharon's great crime is keepint the letters from him so he wouldn't know he had another daughter? There must be more than that. I can see hpw a woman who cared about him might not want him to know. Apparently it was Sharon he loved since he didn't marry the other girl. Can Sharon not have other children? I looking forward to reading more. I hope it won't he too late for these two. I enjoy your writing.
are from high school sweetheart (from your high school sweetheart.)
Comment Written 26-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
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Thanks. The other person was his first love with a high school sweetheart. He will soon learn that the other woman had a child but that her parents forced her into hiding and threatened Luke because she was sixteen and he was eighteen.
