Secrets in the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 33 "Secrets in the Wind - Chap 33"A story of loss, deceit, murder and crime
18 total reviews
Comment from Wendy G
Oh no! This is a disaster! Poor Annie. And Faith and Mary will be beside themselves with worry. Liz doesn't even know about her. These unscrupulous people will stop at nothing to satisfy their greed. I can't wait to read the next chapter!!! Excellent writing. Gripping.
Wendy
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
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Oh no! This is a disaster! Poor Annie. And Faith and Mary will be beside themselves with worry. Liz doesn't even know about her. These unscrupulous people will stop at nothing to satisfy their greed. I can't wait to read the next chapter!!! Excellent writing. Gripping.
Wendy
Comment Written 26-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
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Thanks again Wendy. I always appreciate your review. your support and your forever kindness. Smiles, Carol
Comment from lyenochka
Oh no! I know - you had to make the plot more interesting. But poor Annie! I am guessing this must be one of Mason's henchmen? I wonder why Hank and Garth haven't made the twins' reunion sooner. If they put the pieces together, maybe they can figure out more what to do. Liz seems like such a weak character and Cynthia so devious. Wonder where Michael went to...
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
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Oh no! I know - you had to make the plot more interesting. But poor Annie! I am guessing this must be one of Mason's henchmen? I wonder why Hank and Garth haven't made the twins' reunion sooner. If they put the pieces together, maybe they can figure out more what to do. Liz seems like such a weak character and Cynthia so devious. Wonder where Michael went to...
Comment Written 25-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
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Hank and Garth have had their hands full and it might not be as easy as just introducing them. Liz is a fragile, papered person and a bit naive about things. And Faith is ill and now her daughter is missing.
Oh boy! Onward I go!
Smiles, Carol
Comment from royowen
More action towards the end, and poor Annie, daughter of the very sickly faith, has been kidnapped via an unscrupulous medium, some people will stop at nothing to get their, usually by the horror of fear. Michael discover Cynthia knows something about the fire, it's funny how selfish desperation will drive one's evil motives. I don't think he thought he could be in the middle of criminal activity. Beautifully written Carol, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
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More action towards the end, and poor Annie, daughter of the very sickly faith, has been kidnapped via an unscrupulous medium, some people will stop at nothing to get their, usually by the horror of fear. Michael discover Cynthia knows something about the fire, it's funny how selfish desperation will drive one's evil motives. I don't think he thought he could be in the middle of criminal activity. Beautifully written Carol, blessings Roy
Comment Written 25-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
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Oh, I believe Michael thought they would discover the gold and then purchase the property from Liz. It found something totally different. thanks for the review and your kindness. I'm hoping my replies beat the storm or they will disappear.
Smiles, Carol
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Well done Carol.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Now, Annie is kidnapped this isn't good at all. How horrible are these people. Liz doesn't even know about Annie. They'll do anything to get her to sell. GRRRRR
Faith chuckled, "Matter of fact, I believe he mentioned it a time or two." (period needed after chuckled.)
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
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Now, Annie is kidnapped this isn't good at all. How horrible are these people. Liz doesn't even know about Annie. They'll do anything to get her to sell. GRRRRR
Faith chuckled, "Matter of fact, I believe he mentioned it a time or two." (period needed after chuckled.)
Comment Written 25-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
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Thanks as always. Trying to beat the storm so I am not so far behind on reviews. Appreciate your time and kind thoughts.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Now we have kidnapping to contend with. The mysteries are mounting. Whatever faction is involved in this particular action, remains to be seen.
Gripping!
Note:
"Annie, (I'm) got to give your>> s/b 'I've' got to give your
Kidnapping her was child's play (do) his well trained>> s/b 'to' his
Ralf
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
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Now we have kidnapping to contend with. The mysteries are mounting. Whatever faction is involved in this particular action, remains to be seen.
Gripping!
Note:
"Annie, (I'm) got to give your>> s/b 'I've' got to give your
Kidnapping her was child's play (do) his well trained>> s/b 'to' his
Ralf
Comment Written 25-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
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Sorry for my short response, Ralf. I am behind 68 reviews and want people to know I appreciate it. Thanks and I appreciate the help.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Susan Newell
This is a very good chapter with a nice flow, nice mix of dialogue and narrative, good movement of plots and the pulling together of loose threads. I appreciated the inclusion of some of Cynthia's backstory. As always, you have left us wanting to turn the page.
Notes:
For his spot -- from his spot?
Michael's surprised greeting ==> surprise
A friend invited to breakfast, -- missing "me"
My husband arranged the purchase long ago, -- these are people that have talked on the phone once a week. Wouldn't Cynthia have referred to "Your uncle [name]" rather than "My husband?"
Michael had heard of balloon payments, though his knowledge was limited. -- this seems odd since he passed an exam for a NY real estate license with flying colors. Is his ignorance necessary to the plot?
He imagined the worse, ==> worst
real-life -- real life
"Annie, I'm got to give your mom ==> I've got to
against his shiny black coat. -- Am I wrong in remembering him as a St. Bernard?
His stealth figure ==> stealthy
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2021
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This is a very good chapter with a nice flow, nice mix of dialogue and narrative, good movement of plots and the pulling together of loose threads. I appreciated the inclusion of some of Cynthia's backstory. As always, you have left us wanting to turn the page.
Notes:
For his spot -- from his spot?
Michael's surprised greeting ==> surprise
A friend invited to breakfast, -- missing "me"
My husband arranged the purchase long ago, -- these are people that have talked on the phone once a week. Wouldn't Cynthia have referred to "Your uncle [name]" rather than "My husband?"
Michael had heard of balloon payments, though his knowledge was limited. -- this seems odd since he passed an exam for a NY real estate license with flying colors. Is his ignorance necessary to the plot?
He imagined the worse, ==> worst
real-life -- real life
"Annie, I'm got to give your mom ==> I've got to
against his shiny black coat. -- Am I wrong in remembering him as a St. Bernard?
His stealth figure ==> stealthy
Comment Written 25-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2021
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Good morning...
Guess I had already fixed this one, but not sent a response or it was lost. I try to save and then I get kicked off. Calling for bad weather again this afternoon (the heat is messing with the atmosphere). I am trying to get through as much as I can before I am sent to never never land again. Hopefully, I can correct what you have suggested before it happens again.
smiles, Carol
Comment from BethShelby
My heavens, Carol. I can't believe on top of everything else we're going to have a kidnapping. I can't be Michael because I was just starting to believe he was a good guy and I thought he was the only one who even knew she was there. If she had gone in the house in the house it wouldn't have happened so how would he know to wait for her?
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reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
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My heavens, Carol. I can't believe on top of everything else we're going to have a kidnapping. I can't be Michael because I was just starting to believe he was a good guy and I thought he was the only one who even knew she was there. If she had gone in the house in the house it wouldn't have happened so how would he know to wait for her?
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Comment Written 25-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
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I need my internet to co-operate. I can write on Word, but it keeps kicking me off when I get on Fanstory or goggle. So much for country living and storms...I am so far behind!
Thank you for your review, and I appreciate it very much. I must be quick because another storm is on its way.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Carol Clark2
Oh, no! Poor Annie! Mary just learned she's her granddaughter, and now she's gone. Your writing is definitely full of surprises. Great dialogue between Michael and Cynthia. She's worse than I thought. Great chapter!
Blessings. Carol
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reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
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Oh, no! Poor Annie! Mary just learned she's her granddaughter, and now she's gone. Your writing is definitely full of surprises. Great dialogue between Michael and Cynthia. She's worse than I thought. Great chapter!
Blessings. Carol
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
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I need my internet to co-operate. I can write on Word, but it keeps kicking me off when I get on Fanstory or goggle. So much for country living and storms...I am so far behind!
Thank you for your review, and I appreciate it very much. I must be quick because another storm is on its way.
Smiles, Carol
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Just like in your story! LOL!
