Remembering Yesterday
Viewing comments for Chapter 136 "Life's Not a Fairytale"A widow's journey into her relationship with her
17 total reviews
Comment from Sankey
Yet another quite interesting and detailed chapter. Looks like dad needed what I now use...Incontinence pants. Might share some things privately, later. Just one little spag and maybe a comma needed. I've told you(,) many time(s)
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2021
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Yet another quite interesting and detailed chapter. Looks like dad needed what I now use...Incontinence pants. Might share some things privately, later. Just one little spag and maybe a comma needed. I've told you(,) many time(s)
Comment Written 23-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2021
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Thank you so much for the review and comments and for the lovely six stars. I'm glad you saw that spag. I thought I'd corrected it but I must have not hit save.
Beth
Comment from Judy Lawless
Another interesting story about life with your husband and family, Beth. It's well-written, but I did find a few spags: :)
"Anatomy and physiology wasn't..." - unless Anatomy and physiology are part of one course, it should be the plural verb, weren't.
"The doctor found a problems" - either a problem or leave out the "a"
"but Carol took(stood) up for him and assured them there was plenty of blame to go around."
"He seemed unsure (if) he wasn't(was) ready for that responsibility."
"...studying in order to pass tI(it)."
"I've told you many time(s) how..."
"It was(a) good marriage,..."
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2021
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Another interesting story about life with your husband and family, Beth. It's well-written, but I did find a few spags: :)
"Anatomy and physiology wasn't..." - unless Anatomy and physiology are part of one course, it should be the plural verb, weren't.
"The doctor found a problems" - either a problem or leave out the "a"
"but Carol took(stood) up for him and assured them there was plenty of blame to go around."
"He seemed unsure (if) he wasn't(was) ready for that responsibility."
"...studying in order to pass tI(it)."
"I've told you many time(s) how..."
"It was(a) good marriage,..."
Comment Written 23-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2021
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Thank you so much for the review and for seeing all those errors. Most had been corrected, but at least three of them hadn't. You have a good eye.
Beth
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You're welcome, Beth.
Comment from juliaSjames
I haven't been following this series but I found this post easy to read as a stand alone chapter. You have the knack of describing the lives of your children from a fairly neutral perspective which allows readers to form their own opinions.
The author notes are helpful too.
"Anatomy and physiology wasn't going well" - "weren't going well"
" He seemed unsure he wasn't ready for that responsibility." - suggest "He seemed unsure if he was ready for that responsibility."
Excellent work.
Stay safe and blessed
Julia
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2021
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I haven't been following this series but I found this post easy to read as a stand alone chapter. You have the knack of describing the lives of your children from a fairly neutral perspective which allows readers to form their own opinions.
The author notes are helpful too.
"Anatomy and physiology wasn't going well" - "weren't going well"
" He seemed unsure he wasn't ready for that responsibility." - suggest "He seemed unsure if he was ready for that responsibility."
Excellent work.
Stay safe and blessed
Julia
Comment Written 23-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2021
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Thank you so much, Julia. I'm glad you dropped by and reviewed this. I appreciate your suggestion and correction. I have fixed it. I glad you found it easy to read as a stand alone chapter.
Beth
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Dear Beth you are most welcome
Comment from lyenochka
I love your wise summary over all the ups and downs of marriage. You're right that no one lives a fairy tale. I feel so sorry for your mom having to clean up after your dad. That's one thing my mom said - she won't do that and it would be the nursing home for him if that happened. I think my dad is handling any accidents quietly.
I am so impressed with Carol's dedication to Glen, to keep defending him even though no one thinks he deserves it.
Suggestions:
enjoy getting envolved in church activities, (involved)
With the good, comes problems. (come)
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2021
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I love your wise summary over all the ups and downs of marriage. You're right that no one lives a fairy tale. I feel so sorry for your mom having to clean up after your dad. That's one thing my mom said - she won't do that and it would be the nursing home for him if that happened. I think my dad is handling any accidents quietly.
I am so impressed with Carol's dedication to Glen, to keep defending him even though no one thinks he deserves it.
Suggestions:
enjoy getting envolved in church activities, (involved)
With the good, comes problems. (come)
Comment Written 23-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2021
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Thank you so much Helen. I appreciate your comments and corrections. I was surprised that Connie always defended Glen. Although I don't think she loved him as wife, she seem to always feel his family didn't treat him right. Maybe she married him because she felt sorry for him. One she got past the stigma of divorce, I think she was happier not being in that relationship.
Beth
Comment from dellsworthpoet
I have read some of this before. I think the conversational voice is working well for you.
Your pacing, word choices, and dialogue all fit into a warm feel.
The only suggestion is that in this sentence: "Later, she told us he'd ask her permission." The ask should probably also be past tense.
Thank you for sharing. Also for adding a character list to the posting. It helps much.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2021
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I have read some of this before. I think the conversational voice is working well for you.
Your pacing, word choices, and dialogue all fit into a warm feel.
The only suggestion is that in this sentence: "Later, she told us he'd ask her permission." The ask should probably also be past tense.
Thank you for sharing. Also for adding a character list to the posting. It helps much.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2021
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Thank you so much for an excellent review. I appreciate your comments and your suggestion. I've made the correction.
Beth
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You are welcome.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I swear older children are more worrisome than the little ones. Thank you for sharing. I enjoy reading.
She told our pastor that she'd prayed about it and felt it was God's fault it wasn't working out. (omit 'that')
He was spending a lot of time studying in order to pass tI. (it???)
I have loved the years we spent together, and that if I could be granted the opportunity, (omit 'that')
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reply by the author on 23-Aug-2021
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I swear older children are more worrisome than the little ones. Thank you for sharing. I enjoy reading.
She told our pastor that she'd prayed about it and felt it was God's fault it wasn't working out. (omit 'that')
He was spending a lot of time studying in order to pass tI. (it???)
I have loved the years we spent together, and that if I could be granted the opportunity, (omit 'that')
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Comment Written 23-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2021
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Thank you Barbara. I think you are right. The older ones do seem to have more problems and parents have no control. They just worry and clean up some of messes if they can. LOL
Beth
Comment from royowen
You're right about life and marriage aren't a fairy tale, but that's where the "rubber hits the road" you were always a good example to your kids, they can never blame you for their bust ups. What a stoic girl Carol is, stood by Glen, even though he divorced her, that's loyalty even though the horse has ".bolted" great write Beth, blessings Roy
Typo : But Carol (took) up for him. Stuck?
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reply by the author on 23-Aug-2021
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You're right about life and marriage aren't a fairy tale, but that's where the "rubber hits the road" you were always a good example to your kids, they can never blame you for their bust ups. What a stoic girl Carol is, stood by Glen, even though he divorced her, that's loyalty even though the horse has ".bolted" great write Beth, blessings Roy
Typo : But Carol (took) up for him. Stuck?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2021
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Thank you so much Roy. I appreciate the review and excellent commens and correction.
Beth
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Most welcome Beth
