Shape Shifter
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Shape-Shifter Part Eight"A Detective John Dutton Novellette
7 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Great personification. This creates a graphic image: "There, time crawled by endlessly in a slow stupor and days melted into one another." Your allusions will draw the reader in. The description just before this line tell the reader alot: "The sight of the convict made Ballister antsy." The dialect you inserted makes things more real.
reply by the author on 11-May-2022
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Great personification. This creates a graphic image: "There, time crawled by endlessly in a slow stupor and days melted into one another." Your allusions will draw the reader in. The description just before this line tell the reader alot: "The sight of the convict made Ballister antsy." The dialect you inserted makes things more real.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 11-May-2022
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Glad you enjoyed this posting. Your review is so kind.
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good job
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Dutton's emotions, the stress that he's under are shown well in the opening paragraphs. A good scene between Dutton and Big Rib in the prison, with Dutton showing he's no fool. Great chapter,
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2021
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Dutton's emotions, the stress that he's under are shown well in the opening paragraphs. A good scene between Dutton and Big Rib in the prison, with Dutton showing he's no fool. Great chapter,
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 28-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2021
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Spot on, much appreciated review.
Comment from Judy Lawless
Another excellent chapter, Brett. Maybe Dutton has at least one clue anyway. It's an exciting mystery. Good character descriptions. Well done.
I did find a few little spags:
"Sure you('re?) a saint. That's not what I hear." - Because it's Dutton speaking I think this might be what you meant?
"Dutton wondered where Adler's money tree grew?" - I think this is a statement, not a question.
"He out know(now)" Hope these are helpful.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2021
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Another excellent chapter, Brett. Maybe Dutton has at least one clue anyway. It's an exciting mystery. Good character descriptions. Well done.
I did find a few little spags:
"Sure you('re?) a saint. That's not what I hear." - Because it's Dutton speaking I think this might be what you meant?
"Dutton wondered where Adler's money tree grew?" - I think this is a statement, not a question.
"He out know(now)" Hope these are helpful.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2021
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Appreciate the not catches and the helpful review.
Comment from BethShelby
I'm not sure I understand how Addler gave Big Rib information. It doesn't seem right that Dutton took the information he had to offer but didn't get him the privileges Big Rib thought he would be able to buy with the information. I look forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2021
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I'm not sure I understand how Addler gave Big Rib information. It doesn't seem right that Dutton took the information he had to offer but didn't get him the privileges Big Rib thought he would be able to buy with the information. I look forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2021
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Appreciate the review and the insight. Perhaps that needs to be clarified?
Comment from Mary Shifman
Excellent story telling. I was immediately engrossed. I want to know how we got to this point, so I will read the previous chapters, but I'm eager to read your next installment. Nothing jumped off the page that suggested corrections were needed. Very well written, fast paced and gripping. Good work.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2021
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Excellent story telling. I was immediately engrossed. I want to know how we got to this point, so I will read the previous chapters, but I'm eager to read your next installment. Nothing jumped off the page that suggested corrections were needed. Very well written, fast paced and gripping. Good work.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2021
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Glad you enjoyed this portion. Much appreciate the review.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This is written really well. I couldn't find any spags or your story was so interesting that I was too busy reading to find any. So we've learned Alder is dying. Hmmm, Now let's see how that affects the investigation.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2021
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This is written really well. I couldn't find any spags or your story was so interesting that I was too busy reading to find any. So we've learned Alder is dying. Hmmm, Now let's see how that affects the investigation.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2021
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Glad you enjoyed this portion. Appreciate the review.
Comment from Ric Myworld
I'm one of the few who believes that plots mean nothing without characters. And your characters are one that we can imagine and relate to their actions. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2021
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I'm one of the few who believes that plots mean nothing without characters. And your characters are one that we can imagine and relate to their actions. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2021
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Always such good comments from you. Thanks for the support!
