THE CURSE
Viewing comments for Chapter 78 "The Stranger is a Vampire"The six book of the Novels of the Breedline
6 total reviews
Comment from royowen
Wow, how clever is That? You woven an intriguing dilemma for the vampire's survival with this very clever "twist in the tale" Shana, it's truly amazing, Dr Michaels, although fictional is truly gifted, and his plotting and planning, funnily enough have a purpose, I'm most impressed, where to now? But I'm sure you've probably already solved that dilemma, well done, thank God for Fiona, blessings Roy
Typo : you can rest assure(d)
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2021
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Wow, how clever is That? You woven an intriguing dilemma for the vampire's survival with this very clever "twist in the tale" Shana, it's truly amazing, Dr Michaels, although fictional is truly gifted, and his plotting and planning, funnily enough have a purpose, I'm most impressed, where to now? But I'm sure you've probably already solved that dilemma, well done, thank God for Fiona, blessings Roy
Typo : you can rest assure(d)
Comment Written 16-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2021
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Thanks dear friend :)
I did not plan this part in the book. It just some how came to light. You never know where the story will lead or end. I'm a writer that has an idea, then other things pop into my head along the way. LOL!
Thanks for your awesome review and helpful tip. I appreciate you!
Always your fan,
Shana :)
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Me too
Comment from dellsworthpoet
A very interesting story line. The dialogue seems natural, the word choice is good, the flow of the story is good.
Two things I would warn about. One is complexity. Remember that multi-layered is good, but if you have seen Tolstoy's works you know complex can become convoluted. My suggestion is make it no more complex than the story demands.
Second no one relates to unflawed characters. By this I mean both those perfect light and those perfect dark. If the doctor is not a throw away character give him at least some endearing characteristics, even if small.
Remember Sherlock Holmes. A bright mind, but easily bored, condescending, and a drug user. A bit to love and a bit to hate.
Thanks for sharing. A good read.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
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A very interesting story line. The dialogue seems natural, the word choice is good, the flow of the story is good.
Two things I would warn about. One is complexity. Remember that multi-layered is good, but if you have seen Tolstoy's works you know complex can become convoluted. My suggestion is make it no more complex than the story demands.
Second no one relates to unflawed characters. By this I mean both those perfect light and those perfect dark. If the doctor is not a throw away character give him at least some endearing characteristics, even if small.
Remember Sherlock Holmes. A bright mind, but easily bored, condescending, and a drug user. A bit to love and a bit to hate.
Thanks for sharing. A good read.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
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Thanks, dellsworthpoet :)
I appreciate your positive review and helpful advice. I will definitely take it. This is why I continue to keep posting here. So many talented people that are willing to help.
Sincerely,
Shana :)
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You are most welcome.
Comment from AJ McCall
And it was getting good!!!!! LOL! First off, THANK YOU FOR MAKING THE CHAPTERS LONGER, SHANA!!! (Very happy.) But to address the story, this chapter surprised me. Who would've thought that a virus (maybe covid) was killing the Lenny and other Vampires. I thought he needed the antidote for another reason but this just got good. I can't wait until next Monday to see what happens. Maybe Lenny will help them and will get help himself. SEE YA!
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
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And it was getting good!!!!! LOL! First off, THANK YOU FOR MAKING THE CHAPTERS LONGER, SHANA!!! (Very happy.) But to address the story, this chapter surprised me. Who would've thought that a virus (maybe covid) was killing the Lenny and other Vampires. I thought he needed the antidote for another reason but this just got good. I can't wait until next Monday to see what happens. Maybe Lenny will help them and will get help himself. SEE YA!
Comment Written 16-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
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Thanks so much, AJ :)
I had no choice but to make this one long. LOL! Glad you approve. I figured I would hear from others that it is too long. But so far, no one is complaining. It's so hard to split up chapters and find the right part to end and then begin again.
Yes, there is a deadly virus killing the vampires. And Jena's blood is the cure. Stay tuned... it gets more tense.
Thanks again for taking the time to read my chapter and for your gracious review. I appreciate you!
Hugs,
Shana :)
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Aww, you're welcome! I always enjoy leaving reviews for your work. )You're my favorite, don't tell anyone lol.) It's gets more intense?????!?!? Ooh...
Comment from NABattaglia
Oh no--that doctor definitely cannot be trusted! Well done with this one. I like the imagery you posted and how you developed the chapter. The dialogue is natural. Paragraph structures appropriate. Nicely done and thanks for sharing. HEY! Also to note there is a new Horror Writers club. So please feel free to join! We (it's really just me right now as it was just created) could really learn a lot from someone like you! Eventually we will have more people in it as it slowly grows.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
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Oh no--that doctor definitely cannot be trusted! Well done with this one. I like the imagery you posted and how you developed the chapter. The dialogue is natural. Paragraph structures appropriate. Nicely done and thanks for sharing. HEY! Also to note there is a new Horror Writers club. So please feel free to join! We (it's really just me right now as it was just created) could really learn a lot from someone like you! Eventually we will have more people in it as it slowly grows.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
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Thank you, NABattaglia :)
So thrilled you enjoyed the chapter. I am definitely having fun creating them. Let me know what your club is called so I can check it out.
Thanks again for the fabulous review and gracious stars.
Sincerely,
Shana :)
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You are welcome! It is just called "Horror Writers" in the clubs on the dropdown here. Only a few days old. I am new to this site, and learning there are not many horror writers here and most people don't enjoy horror (womp womp)--we got to change that! Thank you again for sharing and be well :) --Nick
Comment from Mary Shifman
I love vampire and werewolf stories with a twist and this clearly fits the bill.
It reads smoothly and the dialogue moves the narrative along nicely. Thank you for the explanation at the bottom of the page because it clarified a lot for me since I'm new to the site and haven't been following the story. This is an enjoyable read and I want to find out what happens next! Good work.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
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I love vampire and werewolf stories with a twist and this clearly fits the bill.
It reads smoothly and the dialogue moves the narrative along nicely. Thank you for the explanation at the bottom of the page because it clarified a lot for me since I'm new to the site and haven't been following the story. This is an enjoyable read and I want to find out what happens next! Good work.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
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Thank you, Mary :)
So thrilled to hear you enjoyed the chapter. And thanks for the positive words and gracious stars.
I was hoping the chapter wouldn't seem too long. I have to split them up here since they usually run 5-6 pages.
I've always been a big fan of the supernatural, and vampires and werewolves are my favorite.
I hope to hear from you again. More Breedline adventures to come.
Sincerely,
Shana :)
Comment from Jasmine Girl
I really enjoy reading this chapter and it has turned me into a fan of this book. But I have been a fan yours for a while so I must like the book before. This book is a fantasy but it is also human. I like its complexity. The writing is very good, too.
Exceptionally done.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
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I really enjoy reading this chapter and it has turned me into a fan of this book. But I have been a fan yours for a while so I must like the book before. This book is a fantasy but it is also human. I like its complexity. The writing is very good, too.
Exceptionally done.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2021
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Thanks so much, Lisa :)
So happy to hear you enjoyed this chapter. It was fun to create. Your encouraging words and gracious stars made my day. I love to hear that I have entertained the reader with my story. Best news ever!
Thanks again!
Sincerely,
Shana :)
