Reviews from

THE CURSE

Viewing comments for Chapter 77 "The Stranger/Part Four"
The six book of the Novels of the Breedline

5 total reviews 
Comment from justafan
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I absolutely love this book. I am currently reading a shifter romance and it reminds me of your writing in some ways.

My kinda book :)
Another well done edition to the Breedline series, my dear friend.

Always
Justafan of yours
Missy

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 11-Aug-2021
    Aww... thanks so much, Missy :)
    Glad you enjoyed the chapter. I appreciate your positive review and gracious stars.

    Hugs,
    Shana :)
reply by justafan on 11-Aug-2021
    My pleasure
Comment from royowen
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You are fantastic at creating new variations of the creatures that lie in wait for humans, and the ones appointed to protect them, so .Lenny is a hybrid, something between a daywalker and a vampire, this is incredible Shana, how creative you are, it seems like Michaels is limited now, beautifully written, I wonder how Lenny view Jena, he's probably puzzled by her. Well done dear girl, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 10-Aug-2021
    Thank you, dear friend :)

    I certainly have fun creating new creatures for my Breedline adventures. I lets me bring out my creative side. And it gives me such joy to share it.
    I'm glad you approve. Thanks for encouraging me.

    Always your fan,
    Shana :)
reply by royowen on 10-Aug-2021
    Great job Shana
Comment from AJ McCall
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Ha! Jace is so ridiculous! He just wants an excuse to kill Lenny. And Nicholas is immortal too????! THAT'S AWESOME!
This post actually reads longer, which is why you aren't going to open this review to see 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!' LOL. I like the explanation of the vampires. I didn't even know there were different ones, but the part where you wrote that the Biters only go for women, it kinda sounds suspect, since the Biters are females, if you know what I mean. But I enjoyed this post. I did spot two typos:

"They only came out to (fed) off the homeless, drifters, -- feed

"then how do they (multiple?") -- multiply

Well, I hope you're having a lovely Monday, Shana. I can't wait to see what happens next. Literally. LOL. :)

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 10-Aug-2021
    Thanks so much, AJ :)
    BTW... I found your book and got a copy. I can't believe you wrote a book at 14 years old. Wow! That's incredible. You're awesome!
    So glad you enjoyed this chapter and the new take on vampires. I had fun creating those. I'm planning to write a book in the near future that takes place in the 1800s. It will tell the story of Lenny and all the different vampires.
    And thanks so much for catching those typos. I can't believe I didn't see those. I think I read that chapter at least 10 times. I guess I just read over it. Lol!
    Thanks again my friend!
    Hugs,
    Shana :)
reply by AJ McCall on 10-Aug-2021
    Aww, you're welcome, and THANK YOU! Yes, it's quite an accomplishment. I can't wait to read that New Vampire story when it comes out! And don't worry, a writer's eyes usually pass over stuff like that, LOL.
Comment from dellsworthpoet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A nice bit of world building. It is an information dump, which can be good or bad. Good in the sense it gets it out of the way so plot can continue and gives a place where readers can go to review the info easily. Bad in the sense it can become a bit pedantic and cause overload.

The conversation is in acceptable language and seems natural. The problem becomes in a charged situation such a long conversation seems a bit out of place.

I like the story and that you have decided to make your own lore about vampires. With so many stories currently the temptation to be classical (or trite if you wish) is high.

A good read. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 10-Aug-2021
    Thank you, dellsworthpoet :)

    I appreciate your review and advice. It definitely helps with my writing. I do enjoy creating new creatures for my Breedline adventures. Thanks again for taking the time to read my chapter. Hope to hear from you again.

    Sincerely,
    Shana :)
reply by dellsworthpoet on 10-Aug-2021
    You are welcome.
Comment from Carla McNab
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This sounds like it will be a fun read. You need a quotation - to look at Jena... companions." in the conversation between Nicholas and Lenny. Keep going. In many of my writing classes, instructors stress the use of action verbs instead of adverbs. You might try that in some places where you use the words began and kept. I recognize them, because I do the same thing.

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2021


reply by the author on 10-Aug-2021
    Thank you, Carla :)
    I'm thrilled you enjoyed the chapter, and thanks for the tips. Sharing on this site has been a great learning process and I'm grateful for all the help. I hope to hear from you again.

    Sincerely,
    Shana :)