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Viewing comments for Chapter 44 "Sheets Everywhere"With their call stalled, Liz & Linda begin walking
8 total reviews
Comment from Mary Shifman
I liked this chapter a lot. I was immediately hooked and wanted to know more details regarding their adventures. I like mysteries and this was well set up and it not only did it leave me wanting more, I wanted to know the details of what happened prior to this scene. There was one paragraph where I lost track of who was speaking, 'I wasn't kidding when this turned out to be a ghost town.' No one actually called it a ghost town but there were references to ghostly white sheets. It still isn't clear to me who's talking. Still I loved the chapter and read the book if I could print it.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2021
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I liked this chapter a lot. I was immediately hooked and wanted to know more details regarding their adventures. I like mysteries and this was well set up and it not only did it leave me wanting more, I wanted to know the details of what happened prior to this scene. There was one paragraph where I lost track of who was speaking, 'I wasn't kidding when this turned out to be a ghost town.' No one actually called it a ghost town but there were references to ghostly white sheets. It still isn't clear to me who's talking. Still I loved the chapter and read the book if I could print it.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2021
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Thank you for your involved review. Tommy had called the area a ghost town in the previous chapter. This place is usually crawling with tourists. You are invited to read any of the previous chapters. The first 13 are about Liz & Linda rescuing 10 Native teens from a trafficking operation. Every chapter is suspenseful. There is no need to write a review. Just enjoy.
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Thank you, I will.
Comment from J.R. Michael
Wow what an adventure these characters have been through. Using the "sitting and resting" as a tool to go through the different predicaments was both smart and humorous. The dialogue is natural and believable. Makes me really want to see what these girls got up to and where they're going. Needed a little more clarity as to the setting of the characters, but I think that's attributed to reading a chapter out of context.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2021
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Wow what an adventure these characters have been through. Using the "sitting and resting" as a tool to go through the different predicaments was both smart and humorous. The dialogue is natural and believable. Makes me really want to see what these girls got up to and where they're going. Needed a little more clarity as to the setting of the characters, but I think that's attributed to reading a chapter out of context.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2021
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Thank you for your involved review. You are coming into this story cold. You are invited to read any of the previous chapters. The first 13 are about Liz & Linda rescuing 10 Native teens from a trafficking operation. Every chapter is suspenseful. There is no need to write a review. Just enjoy.
Comment from Judy Lawless
You've done a good job of carrying on this mystery, Liz. We wonder what has gone on in the town, causing every shop to close up, apparently for a long term. We also hope that there is indeed someone in the garage and their car is ready for them to drive away.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2021
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You've done a good job of carrying on this mystery, Liz. We wonder what has gone on in the town, causing every shop to close up, apparently for a long term. We also hope that there is indeed someone in the garage and their car is ready for them to drive away.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2021
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Thank you for your loyal reviewing. I'm glad you're enjoying the mystery. It's nice to know how it is coming across.
Comment from lancellot
A good chapter and a nice recap of things for the readers. I would look closer at the punctuations on your speech tags. Periods, commas and consistency. Good work
"Me too. Liz said, "Ugh. I know my sciatica is going to kill."
- this line needs editing.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2021
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A good chapter and a nice recap of things for the readers. I would look closer at the punctuations on your speech tags. Periods, commas and consistency. Good work
"Me too. Liz said, "Ugh. I know my sciatica is going to kill."
- this line needs editing.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2021
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Thank you for your supportive review. I don't know if you've read any of the first 13 chapters.They are the heart of this book. I'm inviting people to read them without having to do any reviews. I just want people to enjoy the suspense of each chapter.
Comment from Aiona
What a harrowing-but-interesting adventure these women are having! It sucked me into reading it. I appreciate the run-down they're giving me of previous events as they quibble with each other.
Several things:
1. "He waved his hands to the building behind him."
Has a weird mouth-feel. I think the phrase is usually "waved his hands at the building behind him." Or sometimes "waved his hands towards the building behind him."
2. "...no more than 5000 feet away, was holding a gun?"
Commonly, numbers are written out in prose. ex. "five-thousand feet"
But also.... 5000 feet is close to a 3/4 of a mile. That's a long way! Depending on the terrain, most people can't even see anything 3/4ths of a mile away. Did you mean "no more than five-hundred feet?" That's about twice the distance before one has to slow down for a stop sign. I guess I'd have to read back a few chapters to find out.
3. "It was nice to sit quietly on that large fallen Maple log,..."
I don't think "maple" in this context is a proper noun. So I don't think it needs to be capitalized. Again, I may have to read back to find out.
4. "This looks like a setting from an old movie, The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly...."
Since it's a movie, I think the title is supposed to be in quotation marks. But since it's in a quote, I believe one is supposed to use single-quote marks.
ex. "This looks like a setting from an old movie 'The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly.'...."
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2021
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What a harrowing-but-interesting adventure these women are having! It sucked me into reading it. I appreciate the run-down they're giving me of previous events as they quibble with each other.
Several things:
1. "He waved his hands to the building behind him."
Has a weird mouth-feel. I think the phrase is usually "waved his hands at the building behind him." Or sometimes "waved his hands towards the building behind him."
2. "...no more than 5000 feet away, was holding a gun?"
Commonly, numbers are written out in prose. ex. "five-thousand feet"
But also.... 5000 feet is close to a 3/4 of a mile. That's a long way! Depending on the terrain, most people can't even see anything 3/4ths of a mile away. Did you mean "no more than five-hundred feet?" That's about twice the distance before one has to slow down for a stop sign. I guess I'd have to read back a few chapters to find out.
3. "It was nice to sit quietly on that large fallen Maple log,..."
I don't think "maple" in this context is a proper noun. So I don't think it needs to be capitalized. Again, I may have to read back to find out.
4. "This looks like a setting from an old movie, The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly...."
Since it's a movie, I think the title is supposed to be in quotation marks. But since it's in a quote, I believe one is supposed to use single-quote marks.
ex. "This looks like a setting from an old movie 'The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly.'...."
Comment Written 08-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2021
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Thank you for you supportive review. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I don't know if you've read any of the first 13 chapters.I'm inviting people to read them without having to do any reviews. I just want people to enjoy the suspense of each chapter.
Comment from aryr
A fantastically great continuation chapter, Liz. It was indeed a good reminder of the events of their adventures. Perhaps the garage is open, after all they do hear music. Well done and very much enjoyed.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2021
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A fantastically great continuation chapter, Liz. It was indeed a good reminder of the events of their adventures. Perhaps the garage is open, after all they do hear music. Well done and very much enjoyed.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2021
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Thank you for your ever appreciative review. I'm glad you enjoyed it so much.
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This is definitely a great book to follow, Liz. You are so welcome.
Comment from Mabaker12
This was a wonderful continuation chapter of Liz and Linda's great adventure and all the folk they had made friends, one feels for a lifetime. Great writing, Liz, and deserving of the score. Luv U Anne
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2021
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This was a wonderful continuation chapter of Liz and Linda's great adventure and all the folk they had made friends, one feels for a lifetime. Great writing, Liz, and deserving of the score. Luv U Anne
Comment Written 07-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2021
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Thank you for your ever appreciative review. I'm glad you enjoyed it so much. I spy a shiny one. Whoa.
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I love U 2
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***hugs***
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xxxxx
Comment from lyenochka
I liked the recall of the various times seated in the past during this big adventure. I also liked the reminder to stretch! I'll do that now. I can completely relate to being stiff after sitting a long time. I hope they will get some answers from the folks in the garage.
Suggestion/Comment:
The van whizzing at them, (whizzing toward them?)
and cousin Juniper�¢??, (Fanstory character problem)
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2021
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I liked the recall of the various times seated in the past during this big adventure. I also liked the reminder to stretch! I'll do that now. I can completely relate to being stiff after sitting a long time. I hope they will get some answers from the folks in the garage.
Suggestion/Comment:
The van whizzing at them, (whizzing toward them?)
and cousin Juniper�¢??, (Fanstory character problem)
Comment Written 07-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2021
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Thank you for your ever appreciative review. I'm glad you enjoyed it so much. They felt the van was whizzing at them. Scary
