haiku (two butterflies)
haiku contest29 total reviews
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
A beautifully penned poem, but I feel sad to see the ending. But then Nature has its ways, rules and regulations. If you could make the presentation bigger, it would be visually more impactful. Good luck!
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2021
  |
A beautifully penned poem, but I feel sad to see the ending. But then Nature has its ways, rules and regulations. If you could make the presentation bigger, it would be visually more impactful. Good luck!
Comment Written 09-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2021
-
Thank you for the lovely review. I appreciate your comments, unfortunately I am not a fan of big presentations. But I have considered you comment.
Comment from rspoet
Hello Val,
You've written a wonderful haiku for the contest
with excellent concrete imagery and grammatical connection
in the first two lines.
The light touch of alliteration works nicely.
The satori is an excellent reflective thought that connects nicely.
Some traditionalists might not like the personification with "waltz,"
but I think it expresses the final movements very well.
Excellent minimal art work.
Well done.
Best wishes to you.
Robert
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2021
 |
Hello Val,
You've written a wonderful haiku for the contest
with excellent concrete imagery and grammatical connection
in the first two lines.
The light touch of alliteration works nicely.
The satori is an excellent reflective thought that connects nicely.
Some traditionalists might not like the personification with "waltz,"
but I think it expresses the final movements very well.
Excellent minimal art work.
Well done.
Best wishes to you.
Robert
Comment Written 07-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2021
-
Robert you have no idea how much this "excellent" means to me. I feel like I have been floundering with my haiku and short form. You
have given me hope, as I thought this one was solid. I agree, I am flirting with the satori, but I believe some makes haiku so much interesting.
-
I wanted to give you a review nomination but I somehow blew it.
Comment from Gert sherwood
haiku (two butterflies)
Val Crisson, I did not know that butterflies don't flutter their wings for only, two weeks. I see that you have a great entry for the haiku contest.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2021
|
haiku (two butterflies)
Val Crisson, I did not know that butterflies don't flutter their wings for only, two weeks. I see that you have a great entry for the haiku contest.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2021
-
Thank you Gert.
-
You are most welcome Val
Gert
Comment from l.raven
HI Val, so good to see you my sweet friend...I hope your
doing well...
here where I live in Illinois...we see very few butterflies
it breaks my heart...and it's so sad their live span is so short...I love them...
I love your poem sweet girl...and love your picture...so very nicely written...I'm so sorry I am out of sixes...******...God Bless...love you...Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2021
|
HI Val, so good to see you my sweet friend...I hope your
doing well...
here where I live in Illinois...we see very few butterflies
it breaks my heart...and it's so sad their live span is so short...I love them...
I love your poem sweet girl...and love your picture...so very nicely written...I'm so sorry I am out of sixes...******...God Bless...love you...Linda xxoo
Comment Written 06-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2021
-
Thank you Linda. I appreciate your support. It's okay about the six. Short forms rarely get them
Hugs
-
I love short forms you...some are better than long...
your sooooo welcome beautiful you...love xxoo
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very nice artwork
and presentation, Val.
-Very good nature and
seasonal imagery as you
describe the "twirling
butterflies."
-A good satori line, too.
-Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2021
|
-Very nice artwork
and presentation, Val.
-Very good nature and
seasonal imagery as you
describe the "twirling
butterflies."
-A good satori line, too.
-Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2021
-
Thank you so much for the lovely review, and as you know these short forms get very little attention on this site. Hugs
-
You are very welcome, Val. More people are writing haiku with the haiku club.
Comment from robyn corum
Val,
What a lovely, but sad scene you have presented here for us. It's actually rare that I read a poem here labeled as a haiku that I agree meets my own definition. (yes, I'm a horridly mean judge of the craft.) haha
THIS one pleases me so much! I will be cheering for you -- good luck!
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2021
|
Val,
What a lovely, but sad scene you have presented here for us. It's actually rare that I read a poem here labeled as a haiku that I agree meets my own definition. (yes, I'm a horridly mean judge of the craft.) haha
THIS one pleases me so much! I will be cheering for you -- good luck!
Comment Written 06-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2021
-
Thank you, Robyn. I am glad you liked it, and very happy you read it.
Comment from royowen
What a very good illustration of the shortness of life, some shorter than others. It reminds me of brief splendour of beauty, the limitations of its beauty, well done, Val, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2021
|
What a very good illustration of the shortness of life, some shorter than others. It reminds me of brief splendour of beauty, the limitations of its beauty, well done, Val, blessings Roy
Comment Written 06-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2021
-
Once again, Roy, I am so thankful for your lovely reviews
-
Most welcome
Comment from equestrik
beautiful picture here to go with your write but a sad realization as your words and notes state the short lives of so many of these fragile beauties. All the best to you.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2021
|
beautiful picture here to go with your write but a sad realization as your words and notes state the short lives of so many of these fragile beauties. All the best to you.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2021
-
Thank you so much for such a lovely review.
Comment from NANCY V. FORREST
Interesting change in the syllables. Variations on forms are always intriguing. The imagery is lovely and the image is well chosen as well. Hope to see more.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2021
|
Interesting change in the syllables. Variations on forms are always intriguing. The imagery is lovely and the image is well chosen as well. Hope to see more.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2021
-
There is a great deal of misconception on haiku syllable count. It only needs to read short/long/short as far as syllable count goes, but must be under 17 syllables. Thank you for the review.
