haiku (two butterflies)
haiku contest29 total reviews
Comment from Katie Mae Dead
Val, I think this is an exceptional haiku and I wish I had a six for you.
The imagery is fantastic and in particular, I'm thrilled it's not 5-7-5. The most beautiful haiku I've ever read were less than 17 syllables.
Your satori is beautiful and brings emotion into play.
One note though...are your sure it's not a 4-6-3 count? "Two butterflies" is 4 syllables.
A wonderful read and best if luck with this!
Katiemae Dead
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
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Val, I think this is an exceptional haiku and I wish I had a six for you.
The imagery is fantastic and in particular, I'm thrilled it's not 5-7-5. The most beautiful haiku I've ever read were less than 17 syllables.
Your satori is beautiful and brings emotion into play.
One note though...are your sure it's not a 4-6-3 count? "Two butterflies" is 4 syllables.
A wonderful read and best if luck with this!
Katiemae Dead
Comment Written 26-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
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Thank you for this wonderful review. I will definitely count the syllables again.
Comment from estory
This haiku merges with the romantic concept of doomed happiness, imperfect happiness. You have that great natural image of the dancing butterflies, but in these last days of summer, we know their time on this Earth is finite. So you have both of these two great traditions, the Oriental and the Romantic, all in one poem. estory
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2021
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This haiku merges with the romantic concept of doomed happiness, imperfect happiness. You have that great natural image of the dancing butterflies, but in these last days of summer, we know their time on this Earth is finite. So you have both of these two great traditions, the Oriental and the Romantic, all in one poem. estory
Comment Written 14-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2021
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This such a fabulous and well witten review. I feel honored to have received it.
Comment from jake cosmos aller
loved this poem about the life of butterflies. I had no idea that they lived such a short life, I always thought they came back year after year. a lot of insets have short life span like lightening bugs and the famous cicadas.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2021
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loved this poem about the life of butterflies. I had no idea that they lived such a short life, I always thought they came back year after year. a lot of insets have short life span like lightening bugs and the famous cicadas.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2021
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Thank you for the lovely review
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
haiku (two butterflies)
by Val Crisson
Excellent entry for the Haiku Poetry Contest. Good syllables count and connection between lines. I like the satori...it's sad but true. Great imagery and presentation. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2021
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haiku (two butterflies)
by Val Crisson
Excellent entry for the Haiku Poetry Contest. Good syllables count and connection between lines. I like the satori...it's sad but true. Great imagery and presentation. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2021
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Thank you so much, as your reviews matter considerably since you "get" haiku.
Comment from Anne Johnston
"two butterflies
twirl in late summer breeze
their last waltz"
Very appropriate words to describe this picture. It is sad that such beautiful creations only last a short time.
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2021
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"two butterflies
twirl in late summer breeze
their last waltz"
Very appropriate words to describe this picture. It is sad that such beautiful creations only last a short time.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2021
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Thank you for the lovely review
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You are welcome, Val.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Unfortunately we are seeing this right now, the last waltz as autumn is taking hold far too quickly, I enjoyed the sentiment here, fine words, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2021
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Unfortunately we are seeing this right now, the last waltz as autumn is taking hold far too quickly, I enjoyed the sentiment here, fine words, love Dolly x
Comment Written 13-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2021
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Thank you for the lovely review
Comment from harmony13
I enjoyed the read of this poem. I found these words to make an image
for me of two butterflies twirling in a dance! The first two lines flow and connect well. The last line says it all! The artwork goes well with these words.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2021
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I enjoyed the read of this poem. I found these words to make an image
for me of two butterflies twirling in a dance! The first two lines flow and connect well. The last line says it all! The artwork goes well with these words.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2021
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Thank you for the lovely review. It de rescribes a haiku perfectly
Comment from RodG
Your haiku evokes sympathy for all nature's creatures whose presence is short-lived.
Easy to visualize these two butterflies "twirl[ing] in late summer breeze."
The last line emphasizes both the beauty of their "dance" and its finality.
Rod
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2021
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Your haiku evokes sympathy for all nature's creatures whose presence is short-lived.
Easy to visualize these two butterflies "twirl[ing] in late summer breeze."
The last line emphasizes both the beauty of their "dance" and its finality.
Rod
Comment Written 11-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2021
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Thank you for the beautiful review, review.
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You are very welcome.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
I did not know the life span of a butterfly was so short. No wonder they are so fragile. Do you ever collect caterpillars and watch them come alive as a butterfly?
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2021
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I did not know the life span of a butterfly was so short. No wonder they are so fragile. Do you ever collect caterpillars and watch them come alive as a butterfly?
Comment Written 11-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2021
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What a wonderful review. No I do not collect catapillars. I live in California and we have the most beautiful Monarchs. They just seem so magical
Comment from jenintorre
I really like the imagery that this Haiku portrays. Such descriptive words and also the well chosen artwork. I wish you lots of luck in the competition. Jen
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2021
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I really like the imagery that this Haiku portrays. Such descriptive words and also the well chosen artwork. I wish you lots of luck in the competition. Jen
Comment Written 09-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2021
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Thank you Jen
