A Letter - Our Last Goodbye
When the unexpected takes a life23 total reviews
Comment from Carol Clark2
Writing seems to be a good way to come to terms with difficult situations. Your daughter was so young! I'm so sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing her story. Blessings. Carol
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2021
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Writing seems to be a good way to come to terms with difficult situations. Your daughter was so young! I'm so sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing her story. Blessings. Carol
Comment Written 04-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2021
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Hi Carol
Yes, she was about to get her master's degree and life was looking good. It was such a shock for all of us, but I honestly think she was happy...she wanted to be with her son.
smiles, Carol
Comment from LJbutterfly
I never thought about how therapeutic writing can be. It helps you unscramble suppressed thoughts and feelings. Your stories are heartfelt and touching and has led me to recall some of my own life experiences.
Your description of Wendy was so realistic that I felt I knew her, especially at the end when you thought of her saying, "Oh God, Mom." Even though it is sad, this is a beautiful story. I'm so sorry for your loss.
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2021
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I never thought about how therapeutic writing can be. It helps you unscramble suppressed thoughts and feelings. Your stories are heartfelt and touching and has led me to recall some of my own life experiences.
Your description of Wendy was so realistic that I felt I knew her, especially at the end when you thought of her saying, "Oh God, Mom." Even though it is sad, this is a beautiful story. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Comment Written 03-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2021
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Thank you, Lorraine...I must admit writing to her has made me feel more at ease with our situation than I've felt in the seven years. It was the right thing to do. Thanks for the review.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from ShirleyT1
What a beautiful and heartfelt letter to your daughter you have written. I know it's difficult and stirs up deep, sometimes buried feelings and emotions, but I believe it's a tool of healing. I know writing the letters through the years to my son, Toby, has helped me. I am so truly sorry about your beautiful daughter Wendy. Blessings to you!
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2021
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What a beautiful and heartfelt letter to your daughter you have written. I know it's difficult and stirs up deep, sometimes buried feelings and emotions, but I believe it's a tool of healing. I know writing the letters through the years to my son, Toby, has helped me. I am so truly sorry about your beautiful daughter Wendy. Blessings to you!
Comment Written 03-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2021
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Hi, Shirley
I see you have been quite busy reading my stories. I truly appreciate all your time and kindness. I, too, felt the letters lifted my spirit and let me deal with unfinished thoughts.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from nancy_e_davis
This is a very touching story and held my attention all the way through. Such a beautiful picture of a grandmother and grandchild. Well done, Carole.
Nancy:)
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
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This is a very touching story and held my attention all the way through. Such a beautiful picture of a grandmother and grandchild. Well done, Carole.
Nancy:)
Comment Written 01-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
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That would be my daughter and her granddaughter (my great granddaughter) only days before she died. It's a sad picture but only one of the few that we can show Camryn as she grows up. Thank you for your kind review, Nancy.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Oh, Carol, of course she loved you, if she hadn't, she would never have called for you when she needed help. That is the way some people are, but they only ever call the one they love most to help them. I can't believe what happened in that hospital regarding the operation. That would never happen here in a million years. If someone needed medical help regardless if you were a homeless, penniless person, you would always get that treatment in the same way a billionaire would. (okay, he might get a nicer room!) Free, no questions asked. That is the one thing I love about this country.
I think what you are doing, writing all this down is such a good thing for your health. There are a few letters I need to write, and the same as you, alive of dead, I know mine won't be read but it does help. Your daughter was most likely looking over your shoulder, and she will be there to welcome you home when it's your time. Not a minute before. I'm sorry your daughter didn't live longer so she could see her granddaughter grow up. She does look sad in the photo. Sending you more hugs and love, dear friend. Sandra xxxx
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
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Oh, Carol, of course she loved you, if she hadn't, she would never have called for you when she needed help. That is the way some people are, but they only ever call the one they love most to help them. I can't believe what happened in that hospital regarding the operation. That would never happen here in a million years. If someone needed medical help regardless if you were a homeless, penniless person, you would always get that treatment in the same way a billionaire would. (okay, he might get a nicer room!) Free, no questions asked. That is the one thing I love about this country.
I think what you are doing, writing all this down is such a good thing for your health. There are a few letters I need to write, and the same as you, alive of dead, I know mine won't be read but it does help. Your daughter was most likely looking over your shoulder, and she will be there to welcome you home when it's your time. Not a minute before. I'm sorry your daughter didn't live longer so she could see her granddaughter grow up. She does look sad in the photo. Sending you more hugs and love, dear friend. Sandra xxxx
Comment Written 01-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
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Good afternoon, Sandra
Hope you've had a splendid day. I have spent mine reading messages and returning thank yous on the reviews. (Not that I am complaining, but I so wanted to write another chapter.) Beggars can not be choosers!
I hope Wendy was here while I wrote the letter. I really want her know how much she was loved and that I believe she loved me in her own way. I have other letters I really should write to ease the sorrow she caused, but that's at a later time I think.
Never ever get sick or die in Arizona...they make life miserable. Even trying to get her brought back home to Illinois was a challenge and everyone wants money.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
This is a real tear-jerker. A letter that has words flowing like tears from your eyes and pain in your heart. I can't imagine the sadness and the trauma you have gone through. Losing a child will leave an emptiness in life forever. You must be a very strong lady , physically and mentally to have carried the burden of the tragedy all these years. God bless and I pray that He gives you peace and happiness for the rest of your life. Blessings!
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2021
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This is a real tear-jerker. A letter that has words flowing like tears from your eyes and pain in your heart. I can't imagine the sadness and the trauma you have gone through. Losing a child will leave an emptiness in life forever. You must be a very strong lady , physically and mentally to have carried the burden of the tragedy all these years. God bless and I pray that He gives you peace and happiness for the rest of your life. Blessings!
Comment Written 01-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2021
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Thank you, Seshadri
I have lost two children and a grandson... life chose to take my angels before me and my heart breaks but I know they are in a better place. The grief, regardless of the number of years, comes in waves and then it recedes. I believe God is with me or I would not be able to live through these moments. Thank you so much.
Smiles, Carol
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When you feel troubled, and you feel like you have nowhere to run to for your problems, have faith in God, and with the help of His Divine Grace, you will find the light at the end of the tunnel. Blessings!
Comment from lyenochka
Oh my goodness, dear Carol! How did you survive such a time? And why did that hospital allow her to go home? It doesn't make any sense. Nor the horrible insistence on the $1500 fee before surgery! How devastating. But I'm glad you documented all those memories here. Your beautiful Wendy will always be remembered by many, including those doctors who paid that surgery fee.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
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Oh my goodness, dear Carol! How did you survive such a time? And why did that hospital allow her to go home? It doesn't make any sense. Nor the horrible insistence on the $1500 fee before surgery! How devastating. But I'm glad you documented all those memories here. Your beautiful Wendy will always be remembered by many, including those doctors who paid that surgery fee.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
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I didn't understand any of the laws in Arizona, but I never want anything to happen to me in that state. It took five hours for the coroner ever to arrive...while our family stood and waited. I was thankful for the doctors' paying the fees, but I wish they'd listened when I begged for them to keep her in the hospital. Truth be told, I think Wendy expected to die on the operating table because her first words were "I guess DJ didn't want to see his mom" Two days later she got her wish!
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Wendy G
Oh Carol, my heart goes out to you! It doesn't matter how many years ago it happened- this is written on your heart forever. I am sure she knew how much you loved her, but she was strong and independent. (My eldest is like that.) Your writing is powerful and very moving, bringing tears to my eyes. Clearly written, and so honest.
I can't imagine the hospital refusing surgery to someone because of cost. Here our public health system helps everyone, no questions, asked, none refused. One can also opt for private health insurance to get choice if hospitals and specialists. But sometimes private patients in an emergency will be treated in a public hospital by the best surgeons regardless, if that is the best and safest option. Many blessings to you. Sending hugs.
Wendy
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
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Oh Carol, my heart goes out to you! It doesn't matter how many years ago it happened- this is written on your heart forever. I am sure she knew how much you loved her, but she was strong and independent. (My eldest is like that.) Your writing is powerful and very moving, bringing tears to my eyes. Clearly written, and so honest.
I can't imagine the hospital refusing surgery to someone because of cost. Here our public health system helps everyone, no questions, asked, none refused. One can also opt for private health insurance to get choice if hospitals and specialists. But sometimes private patients in an emergency will be treated in a public hospital by the best surgeons regardless, if that is the best and safest option. Many blessings to you. Sending hugs.
Wendy
Comment Written 31-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
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Thank you so much Wendy....
I was floored when the hospital said she had to pay first...she had insurance...she worked for the medical staff.... and it was a life or death surgery. I guess if she'd come in an ambulance it might have made a difference....Thank heavens the doctors stepped up...but then they stupidly let her go home. Maybe it was meant to be....after the surgery she even said she thought DJ (her son that died)_ would have wanted to see her.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from robyn corum
Carol,
I completely understand the need to do this. Sometimes I don't even know how I feel about a certain thing until I start writing and somehow, the words pour out and enlightenment comes with the letters touching the page. I didn't know I thought that! But there it is. So strange but so cool.
I hope this will be cathartic for you. I know it will be painful. But you are one of the strongest ladies I've ever met. I have faith that you're going to get to a good place here. I'm praying. And sending you big hugs --
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
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Carol,
I completely understand the need to do this. Sometimes I don't even know how I feel about a certain thing until I start writing and somehow, the words pour out and enlightenment comes with the letters touching the page. I didn't know I thought that! But there it is. So strange but so cool.
I hope this will be cathartic for you. I know it will be painful. But you are one of the strongest ladies I've ever met. I have faith that you're going to get to a good place here. I'm praying. And sending you big hugs --
Comment Written 31-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2021
I am so far behind on reviews... I just finished all the messages and replies, so here I go on answering the kind reviews.
I thought it would be painful to write; but instead I felt a connection with Wendy. I think her strength to stand alone often kept us apart... i can recognize that trait because it runs in my veins as well. but I always knew when she really needed someone I would be there. I am forever thankful for the one week we had together as a family, sharing good times.
Thanks for your kind words and thoughts.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
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Bless you, friend. Sending hugs-
Comment from BethShelby
Carol you have had so many heartbreaking tragidies in your life. It is a good thing you are a writer because writing is therputic. It is probably better that most anything you could do. You are a strong woman but your feeling run deep. She was a beautiful girl. No matter how much we love them, sometimes, the relationship is hard. I know she much have loved you because she had a mother it would fight like a lioness for her child.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2021
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Carol you have had so many heartbreaking tragidies in your life. It is a good thing you are a writer because writing is therputic. It is probably better that most anything you could do. You are a strong woman but your feeling run deep. She was a beautiful girl. No matter how much we love them, sometimes, the relationship is hard. I know she much have loved you because she had a mother it would fight like a lioness for her child.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2021
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thank you, Beth... You wrote a beautiful and caring review and I deeply appreciate it. We had our struggles (she was bipolar) and I really tried to connect....Everyone says she knew I was always there to fall back on when she needed me. Smiles, Carol
