Tom's General Store
a Haibun poetic form32 total reviews
Comment from roof35
I enjoyed this Fan Story General Store story. I often wish "Tom" would write about his creation for new Fan Story writers. Was it created in England, America? How are the judges selected? And so on ... Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2021
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I enjoyed this Fan Story General Store story. I often wish "Tom" would write about his creation for new Fan Story writers. Was it created in England, America? How are the judges selected? And so on ... Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 25-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2021
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Hi there, I would also love to know how the inner workings of FS work and all of the details, but it has been kept a secret for a long time. Thanks for your wonderful comments on this Haibun. Glad you enjoyed it!!
Melissa
Comment from harmony13
I enjoyed this poetry form. The author's words are descriptive, interesting, exciting and extremely creative. I pondered on going to a General Store like this. Sounds like fun! These words flow and connect well. The artwork is awesome and compliments these words.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2021
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I enjoyed this poetry form. The author's words are descriptive, interesting, exciting and extremely creative. I pondered on going to a General Store like this. Sounds like fun! These words flow and connect well. The artwork is awesome and compliments these words.
Comment Written 25-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2021
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Hi Maria... thanks for your wonderful comments on this Haibun. Glad you enjoyed it!!
Melissa
Comment from lyenochka
This is such a delightful and creative haibun about Fanstory! I Love that you call it Tom's General Store and that you compare the competitions to purchasing different kinds of poetry. And that haiku at the end perfectly describes the delicious poetry buffet we have here!
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2021
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This is such a delightful and creative haibun about Fanstory! I Love that you call it Tom's General Store and that you compare the competitions to purchasing different kinds of poetry. And that haiku at the end perfectly describes the delicious poetry buffet we have here!
Comment Written 25-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2021
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Hi Helen. Thank you!! I had a lot of fun pulling together the tidbits for it. I have heard that the prose section is too long and needs to be more succinct. I will try to write another one again and see if I can constrain myself :)
Melissa
Comment from RGstar
A lovely message.
I enjoyed the way you wrote this...even the text in a block, and the font well chosen. Almost a parody, you chased the smile, and you have mine.
Well done. This was a nice read...a happy place...with its underlined meaning.
My best wishes.
Have a good weekend.
RGstar
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2021
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A lovely message.
I enjoyed the way you wrote this...even the text in a block, and the font well chosen. Almost a parody, you chased the smile, and you have mine.
Well done. This was a nice read...a happy place...with its underlined meaning.
My best wishes.
Have a good weekend.
RGstar
Comment Written 25-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2021
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Hello there RG... thank you so much for your lovely review. I had fun writing this one. There is so much to see and do here on FS that it was easy to latch on to different aspects... I settled on the different poetic forms and thought it would be fun to compare them to flavors. So appreciate your comments and I am glad you liked it. :)
Melissa
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Brilliant! This would make for a stunning advertisement--witty and charming--ingenious theme--this would have won a contest for sure. Lovely poem tops it off.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2021
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Brilliant! This would make for a stunning advertisement--witty and charming--ingenious theme--this would have won a contest for sure. Lovely poem tops it off.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2021
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Hello Liz. Thank you so much for your lovely review. I am so glad you liked it. It was a fun one to write. :)
Melissa
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Melissa,
I love the idea of comparing Fanstory to a town's General Store, and head honcho Tom as the salesclerk. A novel twist. But I don't see my favorite form... the Octogram! It must be on one of the shelves, probably outdated. But I guess it's true, as your 5-7-5 informs us,
"poetry varies
its flavor from pen to pen
delicious buffet"
Delightful, with the perfect artwork.
Hugs,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2021
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Hi Melissa,
I love the idea of comparing Fanstory to a town's General Store, and head honcho Tom as the salesclerk. A novel twist. But I don't see my favorite form... the Octogram! It must be on one of the shelves, probably outdated. But I guess it's true, as your 5-7-5 informs us,
"poetry varies
its flavor from pen to pen
delicious buffet"
Delightful, with the perfect artwork.
Hugs,
Kimbob
Comment Written 24-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2021
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Hey there KB. Thanks so much, my friend, for your lovely comments. I will have to write one about the subtle forms out there that do not get much use. The first will be about your octogram. You will have to send me the details about the form so that I will get it right... maybe title it something like..Hidden Gems... I can include the Naani and other ones too (Pleiades comes to mind). Such fun. Thanks again.
Melissa
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Here's one of my octograms, Melissa.
While Pumpkins Smile
Moon follows me along the street
while pumpkins smile.
My pillow slip is filled with treats.
I've walked a mile.
The trees are scratching overhead.
I should be snuggled in my bed.
My friends and I walk single file
while pumpkins smile.
This scary night is bittersweet,
for teeth on trial
bring cavities to dentist's seat,
and pain in style.
So flee the halls of Halloween,
away from ghosts and goblins mean.
Forget about that candy pile
while pumpkins smile.
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The Octogram:
-invented by Fanstorian Sally Yocum
-2 stanzas of 8 lines each
-rhyme scheme ABABCCBB/ABABDDBB
-syllable count/line is 8-4-8-4-8-8-8-4
Line 2 of the 1st stanza is repeated as the last line of both stanzas.
*********************************
I hope this helps, Melissa. You should try it yourself. It's fun to write.
Hugs,
Kimbob
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
You hit the nail on the head here Melissa as you created a variety and delicious tastes in your culinary Haibum here, much enjoyed, poetry at its best from a talented pen here, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2021
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You hit the nail on the head here Melissa as you created a variety and delicious tastes in your culinary Haibum here, much enjoyed, poetry at its best from a talented pen here, love Dolly x
Comment Written 24-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2021
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Hi Dolly. Thanks so much. I had a lot of fun writing this one, but have been told/taught that the prose part is way too wordy. I will have to do another one soon and try to constrain myself (wink). LOL. Much appreciated, my friend.
Melissa
Comment from rspoet
Hello Melissa,
What a clever idea of a poetry store, Tom's general store no less.
The haibun is very well done with the two sections enhancing each other.
Love the "no expiration date, or use by stamp" as well as the art work.
One suggestion would be to make the prose a bit more concise to
reflect the traditional haibun form.
Well done, enjoy your Rondeaus, Tankas, and Two-line poems.
Best wishes.
Robert
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2021
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Hello Melissa,
What a clever idea of a poetry store, Tom's general store no less.
The haibun is very well done with the two sections enhancing each other.
Love the "no expiration date, or use by stamp" as well as the art work.
One suggestion would be to make the prose a bit more concise to
reflect the traditional haibun form.
Well done, enjoy your Rondeaus, Tankas, and Two-line poems.
Best wishes.
Robert
Comment Written 24-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2021
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Hi Robert. Thanks so much for your lovely and encouraging review. I have not written a haibun in over two years and I am completely out of sync and will have to do better next time. I have been informed/taught that the prose is too long and needs to be written in a more succinct fashion. So, I must write another one soon and constrain myself. :). Thanks again!!
Melissa
Comment from Pantygynt
Some of those carry a cholesterol warning, particularly the free verse because many who work in this genre suffer from variants of verbal diarrhoea. The prose variant from the US is having a spike at thiis time and the longline variant is particularly vrulent and downright nasty.
This was an amusing haibun. Great stuff
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2021
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Some of those carry a cholesterol warning, particularly the free verse because many who work in this genre suffer from variants of verbal diarrhoea. The prose variant from the US is having a spike at thiis time and the longline variant is particularly vrulent and downright nasty.
This was an amusing haibun. Great stuff
Comment Written 24-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2021
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You are too funny, Jim. Thanks for the hilarious review. Glad you liked it.
Melissa
Comment from Gloria ....
This is such great fun, Melissa. Yes, FanStory is like Tom's General Store, and I think those kind of stores are the best ever, because they are like one stop shopping.
Excellent haiku to complete a terrific haibun, that had me smiling through the entire read. :))
Gloria
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2021
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This is such great fun, Melissa. Yes, FanStory is like Tom's General Store, and I think those kind of stores are the best ever, because they are like one stop shopping.
Excellent haiku to complete a terrific haibun, that had me smiling through the entire read. :))
Gloria
Comment Written 24-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2021
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Thank you so very much, Gloria. It was a fun personal challenge. I am finding out that my prose section was too wordy. I will have to do a better job next time to keep it more succinct. Thanks again!
Melissa
