Secrets in the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Secrets in the Wind - Chap 10"A story of loss, deceit, murder and crime
18 total reviews
Comment from Carol Clark2
Oh, so many questions now that you've revealed this letter! You always stop at the perfect spots to make us want to keep reading. You've connected a few dots for us here. Good chapter!
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2021
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Oh, so many questions now that you've revealed this letter! You always stop at the perfect spots to make us want to keep reading. You've connected a few dots for us here. Good chapter!
Comment Written 23-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2021
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A few, but it's a maze and so many more exists. LOL Thank you so much for reading and reviewing.... and for being excited about the story. Hugs, Carol
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Do you use a story board or map to keep everything straight?
Comment from royowen
There are so many evil things being revealed in this episode, the improprieties of Father Saladino, the sheer lasciviousness of some characters is ow the world works, perhaps I was a little envious of these high priests of sin, but yet I was a "wanna be", thanks to God, that all of us have that potential. Beautifully written, as usual, Carol, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2021
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There are so many evil things being revealed in this episode, the improprieties of Father Saladino, the sheer lasciviousness of some characters is ow the world works, perhaps I was a little envious of these high priests of sin, but yet I was a "wanna be", thanks to God, that all of us have that potential. Beautifully written, as usual, Carol, blessings Roy
Comment Written 23-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2021
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I think I've been overwhelmed by life being filled with hidden evils that now they overflow in my stories. Unfortunately, my experience with the priest wasn't a good one and my feelings spill over into my character. Smiles and hugs, dear friend...Carol
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That?s a good thing, your life should be a testimony to others, and the way you overcome them, there?s a song we sing at church, ?That?s how I fight my battles? on the shoulders of Jesus.
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I picture his arms wrapped around me and I know that I am safe. It doesn't always take the pain away, but it gives me breathing room to move forward.
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That?s Right Carol, He adores you.
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Just one of the lost sheep trying to work through things and find my way back to where I should be.
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You and me both Carol.
Comment from Susan Newell
Well you sure packed a lot into this chapter! We are learning more about the characters and a little about the mystery. That's potentially a lot of gold. My mind turns to Miguel and what he may be up to. I'm sure you'll be full of surprises. I am really looking forward to how this develops.
Notes:
cumberbund ==> cummerbund
a quick kiss before she entered her suite and closed the door. -- is she returning to her suite? Did they both come out of it?
Mason and his newest conquest were standing ==> Mason, with his newest conquest, was standing (to agree with "a jaguar")
He kissed his date on the cheek. ==> Mason kissed (antecedent is Jon)
They hadn't counted on my lowly beginnings in Hayden and showed me to rise above it." -- I don't understand this. I thought Jon went to live with his father and I don't understand why his father and step-mother would have been unaware of his upbringing ; also don't understand "showed me to rise above it." -- do you mean expected him to rise above it?
Jeremy headed toward ==> even though the people there will know him as Jeremy, we the readers know him as Garth
Stunned by their conversation, Jeremy ==> again, Garth
Cynthia's life was in imminent danger. -- Cynthia's or Cassidy's?
However, did you uncover such a find?" ==> How did you ever uncover such a find? OR How ever did you uncover such a find?
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2021
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Well you sure packed a lot into this chapter! We are learning more about the characters and a little about the mystery. That's potentially a lot of gold. My mind turns to Miguel and what he may be up to. I'm sure you'll be full of surprises. I am really looking forward to how this develops.
Notes:
cumberbund ==> cummerbund
a quick kiss before she entered her suite and closed the door. -- is she returning to her suite? Did they both come out of it?
Mason and his newest conquest were standing ==> Mason, with his newest conquest, was standing (to agree with "a jaguar")
He kissed his date on the cheek. ==> Mason kissed (antecedent is Jon)
They hadn't counted on my lowly beginnings in Hayden and showed me to rise above it." -- I don't understand this. I thought Jon went to live with his father and I don't understand why his father and step-mother would have been unaware of his upbringing ; also don't understand "showed me to rise above it." -- do you mean expected him to rise above it?
Jeremy headed toward ==> even though the people there will know him as Jeremy, we the readers know him as Garth
Stunned by their conversation, Jeremy ==> again, Garth
Cynthia's life was in imminent danger. -- Cynthia's or Cassidy's?
However, did you uncover such a find?" ==> How did you ever uncover such a find? OR How ever did you uncover such a find?
Comment Written 23-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2021
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Darn... second time around! I read, fixed, and responded only to discover I didn't send before skipping to a reply... Senile old lady!!!
Probably why things are so easy after you point them out to me... I can read, reread and read again and not see the error, but let you say something, and I immediately say Duh!!! I thank you over and over because without you, I might get terribly lost.
praying I do it right this time!!!
Smiles, Carol
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Proofreading your own work is next to impossible. That's one reason we're here! Never apologize for errors. They happen to everybody, and not by choice. I get the bonus of reading a good book, as opposed to my first proofreading job . . . Insurance policies.
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Thanks for putting a smile on my face! About to call it quits for the night... Have a nice evening!
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I knew that coniving female snake wasn't very nice. So was it her that killed Elizabeth's husband? I wouldn't put it past her, but I also don't like Mason! So perhaps he knows about the gold as well. This opens up another layer, Carol, and with Cynthia and Mason both plotting to take the property away from Elizabeth now, what depths will they sink to, to get it? What a story, Carol!! Well done, can't wait for the next part. :)) Sandra xxxxx
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2021
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I knew that coniving female snake wasn't very nice. So was it her that killed Elizabeth's husband? I wouldn't put it past her, but I also don't like Mason! So perhaps he knows about the gold as well. This opens up another layer, Carol, and with Cynthia and Mason both plotting to take the property away from Elizabeth now, what depths will they sink to, to get it? What a story, Carol!! Well done, can't wait for the next part. :)) Sandra xxxxx
Comment Written 23-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2021
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I am laughing so hard! I love your description of Cynthia... There's a lot of mystery and secrets in that small town of Hayden. In 1848, there was gold... but did they find it already or was it there for sure? And does anyone else know about this map... Questions upon questions!!!
Smiles and hugs... Love ya, Carol
Comment from eliz100
This is another very interesting post that moves your story along. Adding the map and especially the letter to bring in some of the history is a creative implementation. There is no room for improvement.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2021
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This is another very interesting post that moves your story along. Adding the map and especially the letter to bring in some of the history is a creative implementation. There is no room for improvement.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2021
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Thank you so much...One lead to one plot... so many more lurking in the shadows.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Garth is onto some important information about who some of the bad guys are and now there's gold under the vineyards. Oh my, more and more information. I love this story.
Jon's mouth dropped open as his eyes darted between the lovely morsel and Satan's clone. kissed his date on the cheek. (At a minimum 'kissed' needs to be capitalized, but I'm afraid it's missing a word, too.)
"Is that it? Is that the piece de resistance?" He grinned like a Cheshire cat. "However,
did you uncover such a find?" (spacing issue)
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2021
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Garth is onto some important information about who some of the bad guys are and now there's gold under the vineyards. Oh my, more and more information. I love this story.
Jon's mouth dropped open as his eyes darted between the lovely morsel and Satan's clone. kissed his date on the cheek. (At a minimum 'kissed' needs to be capitalized, but I'm afraid it's missing a word, too.)
"Is that it? Is that the piece de resistance?" He grinned like a Cheshire cat. "However,
did you uncover such a find?" (spacing issue)
Comment Written 23-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2021
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Good afternoon, Barbar
Reviewed, understood and fixed. LOl
You have no idea how much it means to mean when you tell me that you love my story. You write fantastically and I know your honesty would not grace me with such praise unless it was real. Thank you...
Smiles and hugs, Carol
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My reviews are honest.
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Your answer scared me... I thought I might have misworded something. Give me heart failure, Barbara....LOL
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No I honestly love your stories. I would never lie on a review. If I had a problem, I would send a private message.
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
This chapter is full of so much importance to the plot and I am amazed at your fertile imagination and the various schemes you so readily come up with. You are a true author. ****** My pathetic six stars.ð???
Ralf
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reply by the author on 23-Jul-2021
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This chapter is full of so much importance to the plot and I am amazed at your fertile imagination and the various schemes you so readily come up with. You are a true author. ****** My pathetic six stars.ð???
Ralf
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2021
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Well, Ralf just puff me up and make me feel so good. What a tremendous lift to know that you admire my imagination and consider me a true author. Can you see the smile on my face or is it blinding you? LOL
Hugs, Carol
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It is rife in your words.
Ralf
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This Chapter 10 of the Mystery and Crime Fiction speaks interestingly about secrets, thematized and plotted modestly; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2021
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This Chapter 10 of the Mystery and Crime Fiction speaks interestingly about secrets, thematized and plotted modestly; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2021
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How gracious of you to continue reading my story and commenting. I appreciate the support and thoughts.
Smiles, Carol
