Adam
The timeworn story of man's downfall.49 total reviews
Comment from Paul McFarland
Nice rhyme. I think the three foot meter makes the poem a little choppy. The old story is always worth retelling. The all important ending is nicely done.
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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2021
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Nice rhyme. I think the three foot meter makes the poem a little choppy. The old story is always worth retelling. The all important ending is nicely done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2021
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Thank you for your review comments.
Comment from amahra
Love that artwork you chose for this age-old story of Satan's defeat--right on the spot. Nice rhyming; Very good rhythm scheme, and of course a true story in awesome drama. Great job!
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2021
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Love that artwork you chose for this age-old story of Satan's defeat--right on the spot. Nice rhyming; Very good rhythm scheme, and of course a true story in awesome drama. Great job!
Comment Written 21-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2021
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Thank you, I appreciate your comments.
Comment from dellsworthpoet
The story told in a relatively short poem. The language was simple, but effective, the rhyme pattern was even, and the poem flowed well. The narrative stayed on point and didn't wander.
A nice read. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2021
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The story told in a relatively short poem. The language was simple, but effective, the rhyme pattern was even, and the poem flowed well. The narrative stayed on point and didn't wander.
A nice read. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2021
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Thank you. I really love and appreciate your kind words.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is probably who women have suffered over the years as this story blames them for infidelity and for being temptresses. We are tempted by many things in life and the only one to blame is ourselves for succumbing. A fine well rhymed write about the old biblical story, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2021
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This is probably who women have suffered over the years as this story blames them for infidelity and for being temptresses. We are tempted by many things in life and the only one to blame is ourselves for succumbing. A fine well rhymed write about the old biblical story, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 20-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2021
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Thank you so much, and just so you know, the person I blame the most is Adam. If he had really love Eve he would have argued for her forgiveness, rather than joining her in her error.
Comment from Senyai
Hi Nomi,
Your artfully crafted poem has all the hallmarks of a great poem. Yes, this story is told in children's bible stories for kindergarten as well as mused over by all as the Book of Genesis tells it in several different ways. Your author's notes confirm my belief that this story and its message can never get old or be retold too many times. We need to know that in the end, even if Satan caused the Fall of Man, that God will defeat him and all God's creation will not be lost, but will be resurrected again just like His Son, Jesus Christ with His triumph over death.
Very enlightening poem and thank you for posting!
Senyai
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2021
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Hi Nomi,
Your artfully crafted poem has all the hallmarks of a great poem. Yes, this story is told in children's bible stories for kindergarten as well as mused over by all as the Book of Genesis tells it in several different ways. Your author's notes confirm my belief that this story and its message can never get old or be retold too many times. We need to know that in the end, even if Satan caused the Fall of Man, that God will defeat him and all God's creation will not be lost, but will be resurrected again just like His Son, Jesus Christ with His triumph over death.
Very enlightening poem and thank you for posting!
Senyai
Comment Written 20-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2021
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Thank you. Since Adam was appointed as Eve's head, he should have begged God for her forgiveness, and could very well have saved mankind.
Comment from LisaMay
"Seduced by forbidden fruit" is an ongoing problem that creates distrust, discord, danger, and degradation. The story of man's downfall does need to be told again and again (and you have done it with skill) to remind us of God's promise and to warn us against the power of Satan who is always lurking. We must overcome that demon to regain our true life.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2021
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"Seduced by forbidden fruit" is an ongoing problem that creates distrust, discord, danger, and degradation. The story of man's downfall does need to be told again and again (and you have done it with skill) to remind us of God's promise and to warn us against the power of Satan who is always lurking. We must overcome that demon to regain our true life.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2021
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You are so right. Thank you for a wonderful review.
Comment from Janice Canerdy
Your poem skillfully and accurately relates how Eve, then Adam, fell to temptation. The Devil is often called the tempter, and that--he is. In spite of what the Bible says, some people don't realize how powerful he is, thinking of him as some cartoonish entity with a long tail an a pitchfork!
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2021
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Your poem skillfully and accurately relates how Eve, then Adam, fell to temptation. The Devil is often called the tempter, and that--he is. In spite of what the Bible says, some people don't realize how powerful he is, thinking of him as some cartoonish entity with a long tail an a pitchfork!
Comment Written 20-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2021
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That is a wonderfully devious way to entrap the unwary. We must stay alert. That is a true state of wokeness.
Comment from Pj Dennison
Your rhyme scheme is excellent and you have a good meter too. It was disobedience of Adam and Eve, who had been told by God not to eat of the tree (Genesis 2:17), that caused disorder in the creation, thus humanity inherited sin and guilt from Adam and Eve's sin. However, we can find salvation through accepting Jesus Christ and receive forgiveness for our sins. God did not create us as infallible. He gave us a will of our own and the ability to make choices but we sometimes make the wrong choices. There will always be sins because mankind in general, and I mean all of mankind on the Earth as a whole have not spiritually matured into that perfect unblemished flock. Everybody is on the journey but some are out front and some are stuck back repeating the same mistakes until we come to God's will for our lives. Even then we are fallible humans and will sin again but as Christians we know where to go for forgiveness. God just keeps on loving us.
nd think it is so amazing and interesting that God used Adam's rib to make Eve.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2021
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Your rhyme scheme is excellent and you have a good meter too. It was disobedience of Adam and Eve, who had been told by God not to eat of the tree (Genesis 2:17), that caused disorder in the creation, thus humanity inherited sin and guilt from Adam and Eve's sin. However, we can find salvation through accepting Jesus Christ and receive forgiveness for our sins. God did not create us as infallible. He gave us a will of our own and the ability to make choices but we sometimes make the wrong choices. There will always be sins because mankind in general, and I mean all of mankind on the Earth as a whole have not spiritually matured into that perfect unblemished flock. Everybody is on the journey but some are out front and some are stuck back repeating the same mistakes until we come to God's will for our lives. Even then we are fallible humans and will sin again but as Christians we know where to go for forgiveness. God just keeps on loving us.
nd think it is so amazing and interesting that God used Adam's rib to make Eve.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2021
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You are so right. Anyone who thinks he is perfect invalidates God's purpose for sending his son to the earth to repurchase us from our sinful state.
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You are welcome. That was a poem that could be preached. It was a very good message.
Comment from June Sargent
It's good to be reminded of how things got to be this bad to begin with, but thanks to the obedience of another - Jesus Christ - things will go back to the way it was meant to be. Judging from the state of the world - it can't come too soon!
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2021
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It's good to be reminded of how things got to be this bad to begin with, but thanks to the obedience of another - Jesus Christ - things will go back to the way it was meant to be. Judging from the state of the world - it can't come too soon!
Comment Written 20-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2021
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Amen my sister. Amen.
Comment from Begin Again
Especially in these difficult times, so many tend to lose sight of the Lord and his promises. Many fall into the depths of defeat and find it easier to accept Satan's way. This bible story is a good reminder and you have written it very well.
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2021
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Especially in these difficult times, so many tend to lose sight of the Lord and his promises. Many fall into the depths of defeat and find it easier to accept Satan's way. This bible story is a good reminder and you have written it very well.
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 20-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2021
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Thank you Carol. I appreciate your fine comments.
