Leave of Absence
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "House Call"Troopers life spins out of control over his family
10 total reviews
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Cole may be down and out but he is not lacking in courage. His confrontation with his wife, under the restraining order, takes much courage. Obviously, they are not on the same page, and she doesn't know what to make of his actions. Will she get the message, that he loves her, or continue to fear for her life?
Note:
loss of his family, his daughter(s), the>>one daughter
Ralf
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2021
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Cole may be down and out but he is not lacking in courage. His confrontation with his wife, under the restraining order, takes much courage. Obviously, they are not on the same page, and she doesn't know what to make of his actions. Will she get the message, that he loves her, or continue to fear for her life?
Note:
loss of his family, his daughter(s), the>>one daughter
Ralf
Comment Written 27-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2021
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Thanks for staying with me on the plot. I worried folk would get turned off, but I have some unsuspecting twists to come, as to the attitude of his wife and how it will define a chance for redemption. Stay tuned.
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Stan.
This is an outstanding chapter. Your descriptive narrative of the sights and sounds help the reader to place himself in that place. Luke is in great pain but the situation he has placed himself into now is filled with great danger. allowing himself to be tempted in this way causes him to take risks they could end his career and possibly his life.
You did an outstanding job of exposing the fears, emotions, and even the potential consequences of what Luke was preparing to do.
Your descriptive narrative makes everything seem so real.
Robert
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Hello Stan.
This is an outstanding chapter. Your descriptive narrative of the sights and sounds help the reader to place himself in that place. Luke is in great pain but the situation he has placed himself into now is filled with great danger. allowing himself to be tempted in this way causes him to take risks they could end his career and possibly his life.
You did an outstanding job of exposing the fears, emotions, and even the potential consequences of what Luke was preparing to do.
Your descriptive narrative makes everything seem so real.
Robert
Comment Written 21-Jul-2021
Comment from amahra
Wow, this was a fantastic read. I gave it a six in spite of some errors because any grammar wiz can write without mistakes, but only a writer can stir the soul. Great chapter, my friend.
[Loved the way you showed her fear]
"...it beat in a vise..." [present tense in a mix of past tense in the same paragraph]?
"...until it parachuted off the small of his wife's back and hips, revealing her hairless, pearly skin beneath her bathrobe. [fantastic imagery]
Jealous. [jealous...either capitalize or a comma before it]
After all [,] he was [a] decorated police officer, and most everyone in the neighborhood knew him on a first name [first-name one word] basis. He was the "Neighborhood Watch Group."
"On the edge of midnight, Luke parked his jeep a block from the house where the ink was still fresh from a restraining order." [Don't know what the edge of midnight means. I do know it's a song. But, nonetheless, I love how you began the chapter...very professional.]
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Wow, this was a fantastic read. I gave it a six in spite of some errors because any grammar wiz can write without mistakes, but only a writer can stir the soul. Great chapter, my friend.
[Loved the way you showed her fear]
"...it beat in a vise..." [present tense in a mix of past tense in the same paragraph]?
"...until it parachuted off the small of his wife's back and hips, revealing her hairless, pearly skin beneath her bathrobe. [fantastic imagery]
Jealous. [jealous...either capitalize or a comma before it]
After all [,] he was [a] decorated police officer, and most everyone in the neighborhood knew him on a first name [first-name one word] basis. He was the "Neighborhood Watch Group."
"On the edge of midnight, Luke parked his jeep a block from the house where the ink was still fresh from a restraining order." [Don't know what the edge of midnight means. I do know it's a song. But, nonetheless, I love how you began the chapter...very professional.]
Comment Written 21-Jul-2021
Comment from Alaskastory
"House Call" is quite an episode full so vividly with his intention. You very clearly display details with his thoughts, his appearance, and his action with the dog. This is well done and enjoyable to read.
What's her name? 'Sharon never heard the...... "Karen, I know I'm not supposed.... '
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"House Call" is quite an episode full so vividly with his intention. You very clearly display details with his thoughts, his appearance, and his action with the dog. This is well done and enjoyable to read.
What's her name? 'Sharon never heard the...... "Karen, I know I'm not supposed.... '
Comment Written 20-Jul-2021
Comment from royowen
It's truly unimaginable how much this guy would be hurting, it seems like it is a thriller, I'm glad you left what would happen in this particular case how it ended, although there were enough clues to give one an idea. His life would be over, what would he do? Beautifully written thriller, very sad, but these things happpen, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2021
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It's truly unimaginable how much this guy would be hurting, it seems like it is a thriller, I'm glad you left what would happen in this particular case how it ended, although there were enough clues to give one an idea. His life would be over, what would he do? Beautifully written thriller, very sad, but these things happpen, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 19-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2021
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Appreciate your patience with me. I won't leave him in the darkness and in the grip of evil. It may not seem like there's a chance for redemption as it deepens, but I'm trying to surprise with a twist. Blessings ahead. You are one of the few brother friends I so enjoy staying in touch with. Eph. 3:20.
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Good job
Comment from Ric Myworld
Well, I could be wrong, but this goes a long way beyond a fight for redemption and family. Invading the bed of someone who doesn't want you there is creepy. But, I like it, and it definitely has my attention. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2021
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Well, I could be wrong, but this goes a long way beyond a fight for redemption and family. Invading the bed of someone who doesn't want you there is creepy. But, I like it, and it definitely has my attention. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2021
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Thanks for your patience. I'm trying to introduce a surprising twist in the middle of the story. I hope you stay tune. You are an honest and thoughtful reviewer.
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I like the way you think and write, so I hope to read more. I don't, personally, post often, but it's always nice to have honest reviewers give their opinions. Keep up the good work.
Comment from ShirleyT1
You have excellent writing skills. I enjoyed (that just doesn't seem like the correct work with the subject matter) reading your chapter and I look forward to reading the next one. Great job on the characters.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2021
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You have excellent writing skills. I enjoyed (that just doesn't seem like the correct work with the subject matter) reading your chapter and I look forward to reading the next one. Great job on the characters.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2021
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Thanks, Shirley. He's going down a very dark path, but there is a surprising twist that changes his direction without giving too much away. Blessings.
Comment from BethShelby
I'm enjoying this story. It is different from the other stories which I'ver read of yours which have all been Westernts. You are an excellent writer no matter the subject. I'll look forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2021
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I'm enjoying this story. It is different from the other stories which I'ver read of yours which have all been Westernts. You are an excellent writer no matter the subject. I'll look forward to reading more.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2021
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I appreciate your patience with me. It means so much to know you like the westerns I've written and the the thriller genre. The one common thread is where people seek redemption of some sort. IN this one his chance is a surprise.
Comment from Sanku
I read the previous two chapters and i got interested din this novel .His wife seems to be very unfair unless she has any complaints of violence..Hope something good will turn up for him. he seems to be very attached to her.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2021
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I read the previous two chapters and i got interested din this novel .His wife seems to be very unfair unless she has any complaints of violence..Hope something good will turn up for him. he seems to be very attached to her.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2021
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I'm humbled you read from the beginning. There's some surprising turns around the corner that bring to light her seemingly harsh character and a surprise chance at redemption for him. Thanks for your honest look into the characters.
Comment from Ben Colder
In the heat of the night! LOL. Good one, Stan. Not sure about the category, but you glued my mind to the uncertainty. Sounds like Lenny on Law and Order.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2021
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In the heat of the night! LOL. Good one, Stan. Not sure about the category, but you glued my mind to the uncertainty. Sounds like Lenny on Law and Order.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2021
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Thanks again, my brother. I truly believe we were meant to meet each other and encourage one another.
