Comment from AliMom

Exceptional

Wonderful, poignant, heartfelt tale of love, honor, glory. Beautifully constructed. Sad and yet, not. You've written a relatable tale and a tribute to all the young men and women who have had to go into service for their country. Congratulations on winning first place. It is well deserved.

 Comment Written 18-Jul-2021

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reply by the author on 18-Jul-2021

Thanks for your review and congratulations. The win was a surprise, there were some very good entries.
Geoff

Comment from Chris Davies

Excellent

You nicely captured the emotions of those going off to war and those left behind. Sad how so many didn't come home, but at least Charlie left a child. Enjoyed your story.

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2021

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2021

Thanks for your review. Glad you enjoyed.

Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante

Excellent

This is a beautiful, touching story about at least two generations of Americans serving their country. It's told from the perspective of Maria, a young wife who loses her husband in wartime, but cherishes the child conceived in their marriage.

I made some minor suggestions concerning punctuation:

Hearing the call for all aboard ...
-->
Hearing the call for "All aboard," ...

silently whispering "I Love You."
-->
silently whispering, "I Love You."

Theirs had been a whirlwind romance, she had fallen for his charms right away, and him for her beauty.
-->
Theirs had been a whirlwind romance; she had fallen for his charms right away, and he for her beauty.

she had pinned it on him earlier that day. A reminder of a young soldier who never got to meet his baby daughter.
-->
she had pinned it on him earlier that day: a reminder of a young soldier who never got to meet his baby daughter.

***

I was slightly confused by your initial reference to the soldier's awareness of his "growing family," followed by Maria's thoughts about the "surprise" awaiting him back home. So I'm not sure whether he knew about her pregnancy, or not. Either way, it's a moving story.

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2021

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reply by the author on 16-Jul-2021

Thanks for your review and suggestions. Alterations will be made.

reply by Mary Kay Bonfante on 17-Jul-2021

You're very welcome, anonymous writer. I was happy to help. Wishing you the best in the contest. May God bless you. - Mary Kay

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

You did a good job with the contest prompt, Mystery Author. I enjoyed reading it. Your words tell a great story that probably happened many times. The image is perfect. The progression of time is evident. Best wishes.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2021

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reply by the author on 16-Jul-2021

Thanks for your review. Glad you enjoyed.

Comment from Anne Johnston

Exceptional

Your story is well-written, flows smoothly, and portrays a picture of what happened to so many couples when husbands went off to war never to return. Now history repeats itself in a younger generation. This is a tribute to both the men who bravely went to fight and the women who waited for them at home.

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2021

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reply by the author on 16-Jul-2021

Thanks for the excellent review and the six stars. Much appreciated.

reply by Anne Johnston on 16-Jul-2021

You are very welcome

Comment from equestrik

Excellent

Beautifully written short story-truly, a six if I had one. There is an atmosphere created with this presentation that exudes great peace, gratitude and love. You did well!

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2021

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reply by the author on 16-Jul-2021

Thanks for your review. I'll accept your virtual six.