Fine Imported Shoes
Memories of my Mother26 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was just so sweet, Amada, although you don't put it in words, we know in that box were the pair of shoes that you both had fallen in love with. The way you wrote this lovely story, really touched me, I felt goose-pimples rise on my arms. This is a lovely entry, my dear, and I wish you the best of luck in the contest. Well done! :)) Sandra xx
(there was only one little error, a 'my d' in the middle of the sentence near the beginning....pair caught (my d) my heart;
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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That was just so sweet, Amada, although you don't put it in words, we know in that box were the pair of shoes that you both had fallen in love with. The way you wrote this lovely story, really touched me, I felt goose-pimples rise on my arms. This is a lovely entry, my dear, and I wish you the best of luck in the contest. Well done! :)) Sandra xx
(there was only one little error, a 'my d' in the middle of the sentence near the beginning....pair caught (my d) my heart;
Comment Written 11-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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Hi Sandra, you are always so nice to me...Thank you, thank you for reading my heart.
Comment from Begin Again
my d my heart;
embrace, a fine cord embrace it (used embrace twice)
a lake in the surface, (on)
And I kept (space)
closer to her chest.
(large empty space before words)
of my10-year-old heart, (space)
Just a few notes for your attention...Smiles!
What a beautiful and heartwarming story you shared with the reader today. Funny how simple things are often the most important. Beautifully told! Always, Carol
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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my d my heart;
embrace, a fine cord embrace it (used embrace twice)
a lake in the surface, (on)
And I kept (space)
closer to her chest.
(large empty space before words)
of my10-year-old heart, (space)
Just a few notes for your attention...Smiles!
What a beautiful and heartwarming story you shared with the reader today. Funny how simple things are often the most important. Beautifully told! Always, Carol
Comment Written 11-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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Hi dearest friend, thank you for great comments and grammatical reviwes. I corrected them, so I think. Thank you so much.
Comment from Eternal Muse
This was so touching. Brought tears to my eyes. Yes, mother's love is immesurable, as wide as river, as tall as the tallest mountain. It brought memories of my own mother who I lost to pulmonary cardiac arrest fifteen years ago. So, the mother bought these costly beautiful imported shoes for her little girl.
Great imagery and visuals and I loved your artwork!
One nit:
One day, passing by a shoe store, a fancy pair caught my d my heart." "...my d my heart" - what did you mean?
Thank you for this endearing story. I loved it.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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This was so touching. Brought tears to my eyes. Yes, mother's love is immesurable, as wide as river, as tall as the tallest mountain. It brought memories of my own mother who I lost to pulmonary cardiac arrest fifteen years ago. So, the mother bought these costly beautiful imported shoes for her little girl.
Great imagery and visuals and I loved your artwork!
One nit:
One day, passing by a shoe store, a fancy pair caught my d my heart." "...my d my heart" - what did you mean?
Thank you for this endearing story. I loved it.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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Thank you so much, dear friend.
Comment from amahra
Very nice true story you chose for this contest. Good luck.
One day, passing by a shoe store, a fancy pair caught [my d my] heart; elegant low heels shoes done with finesse; [is 'caught my d' a typo?]
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2021
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Very nice true story you chose for this contest. Good luck.
One day, passing by a shoe store, a fancy pair caught [my d my] heart; elegant low heels shoes done with finesse; [is 'caught my d' a typo?]
Comment Written 11-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2021
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Thank you so much for your support.
Comment from karenina
There is no treasure greater than a mother's love... No finer memory to cherish. What a sweetly written and poignant true story...tears brim as I struggle to write this review! The very essence of this work is flawless, my friend. I know very well the vision loss you are bravely dealing with... Run this through grammar check...there are a few issues that would highlight for you. You are free to correct these until voting opens. A beautiful memory shared! You honor your mother's memory!
With deepest affection, Karenina
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reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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There is no treasure greater than a mother's love... No finer memory to cherish. What a sweetly written and poignant true story...tears brim as I struggle to write this review! The very essence of this work is flawless, my friend. I know very well the vision loss you are bravely dealing with... Run this through grammar check...there are a few issues that would highlight for you. You are free to correct these until voting opens. A beautiful memory shared! You honor your mother's memory!
With deepest affection, Karenina
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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Hi Karenina, so great to hear from you. Hugs.
Comment from Wendy G
This is a fine story of a mother's love, which in offering such a gift, makes her memory beautiful and her love unforgettable. There are a couple of suggestions below which you may choose to accept - I think these little corrections will offer you an improved chance in the contest. Just suggestions ....
No comma after "escape" - it should just read read "to escape the dimness of my home". "A fancy pair caught my heart" - there are some extra letters there to delete. Further down: "a fine cord embraced it all", not "embrace".
I wouldn't repeat "coquettish".
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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This is a fine story of a mother's love, which in offering such a gift, makes her memory beautiful and her love unforgettable. There are a couple of suggestions below which you may choose to accept - I think these little corrections will offer you an improved chance in the contest. Just suggestions ....
No comma after "escape" - it should just read read "to escape the dimness of my home". "A fancy pair caught my heart" - there are some extra letters there to delete. Further down: "a fine cord embraced it all", not "embrace".
I wouldn't repeat "coquettish".
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021
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Thank you so much for your review and corrections. All taken. Thank you...
