Reviews from

Football - A Novel

Viewing comments for Chapter 42 "Football Chapter 21 part2"
A mother faces life's struggles.

29 total reviews 
Comment from eliz100
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is another great installment. It moved your story along nicely. I do not see any room for improvement. The picture matches the story perfectly. I look forward to the next installment.

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 05-Jul-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Pam (respa)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

-Good artwork and chapter, barbara.
-I like how you developed the
feelings of Gabe since he did
most of the talking.
-I can understand Katherine's feelings
and agree with Gabe that she took
a big hit to her psyche from the divorce
and how she was treated.
-I think he explained things very well
and was sincere and honest.
-I also think Katherine appreciated that.
-The part about the robe added a
little bit of spice to the story, too.
-Well done.

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 05-Jul-2021
    Thank you for understanding. Katherine's husband died of a heart attack, but that will also add some spice to the story as Katherine learns more about it.
reply by Pam (respa) on 05-Jul-2021
    You are welcome. I guess you haven't mentioned the heart attack yet. That is going to make her life even more complicated!
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

About time too!! That was the perfect conversation and as Gabriel said, they are now an exclusive relationship, no interlopers from the past. I enjoyed reading this part, Barbara, well done! :)) Sandra xxx

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 05-Jul-2021
    Thank you for the kind review. I am pretty sure it still won't be easy sailing for them. LOL
Comment from Begin Again
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Beautifully done! this chapter was warm, sensitive, and approached with a soft side of Gabriel and a fearful side of Katherine that blended so well by the end of the chapter. I love how Gabriel eased the conversation with Katherine. Stupendous! Smiles and hugs, Carol

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 05-Jul-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from maggieadams
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Jumping into the middle of a novel is never easy, but I really liked your natural dialogue and yes, football is king in Texas, so a natural to be part of your romance novel. I look forward to the next chapter. Congrats on your publishing several novels.

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 05-Jul-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Anne Johnston
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You are writing an interesting story. I read one chapter a couple of days ago, and then decided to go back and read the whole thing from the beginning. Now I am up to date and am looking forward to what happens next.

 Comment Written 04-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 05-Jul-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
reply by Anne Johnston on 05-Jul-2021
    You are welcome
Comment from tfawcus
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

A finely executed chapter, Barbara. I suspect that, if more couples were able to express their feelings in this way, there'd be far fewer broken relationships.
There aren't that many men, in my experience, who could have handled this delicate situation as well as Gabriel has done.

 Comment Written 04-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 05-Jul-2021
    Thank you for the kind review. I agree.
Comment from judiverse
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Great characterization. I think Katherine is now understanding what happened between Gabriel and the model. It was definitely initiated by her. Gabriel told Katherine as far as he's concerned they're in an exclusive relationship. Things are moving quickly. I'll be curious to see what Katherine's in-laws will be like when they bring the boys back. I'm curious if they will be behind her difficulties. judi

 Comment Written 04-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 05-Jul-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
reply by judiverse on 05-Jul-2021
    You're very welcome. I hope we'll get a glimpse of the in-laws. judi
Comment from Ulla
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Awe, Barbara, isn't this chapter just too sweet. I absolutely loved it. They've finally reached an agreement, and they are now ready for a relationship. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 04-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 05-Jul-2021
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Jay Squires
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I love this chapter, the development, Gabriel's take-charge attitude, showing his maturity ... and most of all, the way it grew to the inevitable conclusion that they are "in an exclusive relationship."

Despite the one major concern below ... this is a six-star chapter.

Katherine chewed her bottom lip. [This is a stock phrase. Right up there with "Tasting salty tears". Honesty, you would do well to keep it out of your stories. I've noticed you using it before, and if I failed to mention it to you, that's my bad. You are such a good writer. You have developed a perfect rhythm between narrative and dialogue, and for the most part, everything rings clear and is authentic. That's why I'm not hesitating now about urging you not to resort to the easy solution to describing an emotion.]

"I need to apologize for what I'm about to say, it's basically uncouth but needs to be said..." [You need a semicolon or a period instead of a comma in order to prevent a run-on sentence or comma splice.]




 Comment Written 04-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 05-Jul-2021
    I changed the second one to a period and changed the first on to 'tapped her coffee cup.' Thank you.