Reviews from

Leave of Absence

Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Road Rash"
Troopers life spins out of control over his family

11 total reviews 
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Excellent
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Officer Cole is speeding! He is filled with wrath about the divorce and the negativity emanating from that. His spotting of some teenagers dropping concrete blocks from above, halts his rage as he pulls to the side and pursues them. He is only successful in finding the girl that was with them.
The others have fled. After scaring her half to death with his gun, he relaxes and engages her in conversation that is much more like a warning.
He displays a caring personality in the way he treats her.

Ralf

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 23-Jul-2021
    Thanks so much for taking the time to read and give a very thoughtful and robust review.
reply by Raffaelina Lowcock on 23-Jul-2021
    You are welcome.

    Ralf
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Excellent
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Gripping--brilliant narration rich in stunning imagery--the opening paragraphy earns your stars from the starting gate.

fingers with a vice=>VISE grip

bucked up on to=>ONTO the other side of highway.

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
    Thanks so much Liz!
Comment from Ben Colder
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Good one Stan. I can see this unfolding. Good officer and smart as well. My daughter and son-in-law are officers. Thanks for sharing another one of your good-hearted stories.

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
    Thanks Bro.!
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Excellent
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forestport:

I think Katie may have shown Luke he still had some redeeming qualities even though he was breaking protocol by not calling the incident in. On the other hand, how was he supposed to explain how fast he was driving when he came upon the concrete-throwing teens? Sometimes we have to get to our darkest side before we can find the light. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Rdfrdmom2

 Comment Written 29-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
    Thanks for mentioning how he needs travel through some dark moments. Appreciate your thought provoking reviews.
Comment from amahra
Excellent
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This was a really good chapter. I like Officer Cole and how he put his own little girl in the place of the teen girl concerning drawing his gun. You give him such passion.

"Someone else lurked behind those brown eyes." [Liked this line.]

Dirty blonde is one word but you can have poetic license.

"Sixteen," She said, eyes glued to his gun. Her dirty-blonde hair got tangled in her eyes. Sweat made her hair stick to her forehead. Tears ran freely from her bloodshot-blue eyes. [Great imagery]

Did you mean to say [over 100 hundred miles?] or [over one hundred miles?] or perhaps [over 100 miles?]

 Comment Written 29-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
    Thanks, as always!
Comment from ShirleyT1
Excellent
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I'm just jumping into your story so I'm not sure about all the history, but I do know I enjoyed this chapter. Your Officer Cole seems like a bomb just waiting to go off. I wasn't sure what his response to Katie was going to be, but I'm glad it was a positive for her. I look forward to reading more of your story.

 Comment Written 29-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
    Thanks so much Shirley
Comment from Ric Myworld
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Wow, it isn't often some can use so many descriptions to put me right in the middle of all the action, but you've definitely done. Beats of sweat on my forehead. LOL. Thanks for sharing. I wish I had a six.

 Comment Written 29-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 06-Jul-2021
    And thanks also for following through with the story as it unfolds. Appreciate that you said it kept you in the moment.
Comment from lancellot
Excellent
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A good chapter. I am glad Luke got distracted and was able to calm down. His reaction to being served was a bit strange considering the state of his marriage. He seemed shocked. This girl seems to have set him on to a different path. Maybe a dark one.

 Comment Written 28-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 29-Jun-2021
    Yes, I may have overplayed his surprised reaction. I'm trying to portray him as someone who felt him and his wife would just continue to rub cold shoulders. I covet your insights.
Comment from Alaskastory
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

"Road Rash" tells quite a tale that started to make the officer had lost his mind and he was speeding. It was fearsome to think he might react violently with the teenagers, especially the girl. But the ending changed all that. Well done!

 Comment Written 28-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 29-Jun-2021
    Thanks again, Marie.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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There were lots of merciful cops around when I was a boy, I can remember the worst mischief we ever got into was gathering at the shopping centre, having fun meeting and the cops telling us to go home and keep out of trouble, well done my friend, good job, blessings Roy

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 Comment Written 28-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 28-Jun-2021
    Thanks Roy. Appreciate you brother.
reply by royowen on 29-Jun-2021
    Bless you