Football - A Novel
Viewing comments for Chapter 41 "Football Chapter 21 part 1"A mother faces life's struggles.
29 total reviews
Comment from Wendy G
There is a lot of action in this chapter! With Daisy not around to bark or give other alerts, Katherine is more vulnerable and the guy taking photos becomes quite scary. Katherine and Gabriel's relationship should be come closer once she believes and trusts him about the "kiss". Is that other woman involved in the dealings against Gabriel. The grandparents' desire to have all the boys for a sleepover seems strange - normally they would come for a few visits first so the younger ones could get to know them. Maybe they are involved as well in the unseen danger which is present.
Good story. Looking forward to more.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2021
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There is a lot of action in this chapter! With Daisy not around to bark or give other alerts, Katherine is more vulnerable and the guy taking photos becomes quite scary. Katherine and Gabriel's relationship should be come closer once she believes and trusts him about the "kiss". Is that other woman involved in the dealings against Gabriel. The grandparents' desire to have all the boys for a sleepover seems strange - normally they would come for a few visits first so the younger ones could get to know them. Maybe they are involved as well in the unseen danger which is present.
Good story. Looking forward to more.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2021
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The grandparents will play in interesting role. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
barbara:
Why do I get the sudden feeling that Katherine's in-laws are trying to prove her an unfit mother so they can take over guardianship of her boys? Perhaps Frost knew one of the in-laws or Katherine's husband before Katherine knew them. Stranger things have happened, for sure. Looking forward to the chapter.
Rdfrdmom2
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2021
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barbara:
Why do I get the sudden feeling that Katherine's in-laws are trying to prove her an unfit mother so they can take over guardianship of her boys? Perhaps Frost knew one of the in-laws or Katherine's husband before Katherine knew them. Stranger things have happened, for sure. Looking forward to the chapter.
Rdfrdmom2
Comment Written 27-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2021
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It will get interesting. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is getting exciting now, Barbara! The mystery is starting to unravel and the relationship between Gabe and Katherine is beginning to advance. Well done.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2021
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This is getting exciting now, Barbara! The mystery is starting to unravel and the relationship between Gabe and Katherine is beginning to advance. Well done.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2021
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Jay Squires
A crucial chapter. At least I feel it is. I'm glad it finally came to a head about the D.I. And it was good that Gabriel was the first one she called. Trust seems to be restored.
Only one thing I question:
"The police will be here in a few minutes." [This was the first time this was mentioned. Katherine needs to react to it here, since later on when the police do arrive, knocking at the door, she acts surprised and says she didn't call the police or Bill.]
Good work, Barbara.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2021
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A crucial chapter. At least I feel it is. I'm glad it finally came to a head about the D.I. And it was good that Gabriel was the first one she called. Trust seems to be restored.
Only one thing I question:
"The police will be here in a few minutes." [This was the first time this was mentioned. Katherine needs to react to it here, since later on when the police do arrive, knocking at the door, she acts surprised and says she didn't call the police or Bill.]
Good work, Barbara.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2021
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I think I fixed that part. I know you're really busy, but could you take a few minutes and reread that section and make sure I didn't make it worse. I'd appreciate it.
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You handled it beautifully, right after the robe incident, and the alert reader can tell by the way you mentioned her watching Bill go into her bedroom that the wheels were already turning in her head. Great job!
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You're great. Thank you.
Comment from lancellot
This is very well written. You do a good job with the bones and grit of writing. You must spend a good deal of time going over each line before posting. I still miss things a lot. the 1200 words didn't feel like it as the chapter moved along at a good pace.
I would recommend showing the PI confess or say something.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2021
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This is very well written. You do a good job with the bones and grit of writing. You must spend a good deal of time going over each line before posting. I still miss things a lot. the 1200 words didn't feel like it as the chapter moved along at a good pace.
I would recommend showing the PI confess or say something.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2021
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I will consider that. I'm in the process of rewriting some areas in this post. I do reread a lot, but I have a bad habit of missing the small words, I read it as if they're there, but aren't.
Comment from Ric Myworld
I could easily give you six stars on everything you post, if they would give us enough to go around. But even though they don't, it's nice to every now and then give you your just reward. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2021
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I could easily give you six stars on everything you post, if they would give us enough to go around. But even though they don't, it's nice to every now and then give you your just reward. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2021
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Thank you, you're sweet. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from royowen
So the spying PI was caught in the act of trying desperately to gain evidence of Katherine sleeping around, but only getting caught himself, with the boys away with their grandparents, and with Daisy gone...? But it seems Gabriel was the first person she thought of. Beautifully written Barbara, blessings Roy
Typo : To make (the) sure the locked after he left.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2021
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So the spying PI was caught in the act of trying desperately to gain evidence of Katherine sleeping around, but only getting caught himself, with the boys away with their grandparents, and with Daisy gone...? But it seems Gabriel was the first person she thought of. Beautifully written Barbara, blessings Roy
Typo : To make (the) sure the locked after he left.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2021
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Thank you for the kind review. I deleted the extra word.
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Well done
Comment from judiverse
Wow! Lots of action in this chapter, and a lot to think about. Very interesting that Katherine's late husband's parents showed up out of the blue, wanting to see the grandchildren. What's with that, especially if it's been six years and they haven't even seen the youngest boy yet. I can see them being behind Frost's actions and the PI spying on her and Gabriel. It could be a plot for them to take the kids, although that seems strange if they haven't bothered to see them. They could be developing a scheme to have Katherine declared an unfit mother so they could get custody and ship them off to boarding school, That's my explanation. Gabriel was smart to call a police officer, as Katherine hadn't thought to do so when she thought she heard a prowler. For me, you might include just a bit of a description and a name for the guy taking the pictures. It would help readers to visualize the scene more. judi
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2021
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Wow! Lots of action in this chapter, and a lot to think about. Very interesting that Katherine's late husband's parents showed up out of the blue, wanting to see the grandchildren. What's with that, especially if it's been six years and they haven't even seen the youngest boy yet. I can see them being behind Frost's actions and the PI spying on her and Gabriel. It could be a plot for them to take the kids, although that seems strange if they haven't bothered to see them. They could be developing a scheme to have Katherine declared an unfit mother so they could get custody and ship them off to boarding school, That's my explanation. Gabriel was smart to call a police officer, as Katherine hadn't thought to do so when she thought she heard a prowler. For me, you might include just a bit of a description and a name for the guy taking the pictures. It would help readers to visualize the scene more. judi
Comment Written 27-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2021
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I will consider that. I just figured he was an extra person. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sankey
This was certainly a very dramatic and excellent read. You made it all very real. I know you guys leave out joining words but as it suits in the following....They travel most (of)the time."
Suit yourself on this last....checked to make the sure the door (was)locked
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2021
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This was certainly a very dramatic and excellent read. You made it all very real. I know you guys leave out joining words but as it suits in the following....They travel most (of)the time."
Suit yourself on this last....checked to make the sure the door (was)locked
Comment Written 27-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2021
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I have a correction in that sentence. Thank you for the kind review.
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No worries did I tell you another Ramble is coming.
Comment from nomi338
Could it be that Katherine's ex's parents are trying to find grounds to take the boys away from her? In-laws can be treacherous when it comes to grand children. Having lost their son, having custody of their grandsons would be a way of replacing their deceased son. I'm just saying.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2021
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Could it be that Katherine's ex's parents are trying to find grounds to take the boys away from her? In-laws can be treacherous when it comes to grand children. Having lost their son, having custody of their grandsons would be a way of replacing their deceased son. I'm just saying.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2021
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We'll see. Thank you for the kind review. We'll be having a few ideas coming forward.It'
