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Traffic

Viewing comments for Chapter 40 "The Blanket "
With their call stalled, Liz & Linda begin walking

9 total reviews 
Comment from Mabaker12
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Just one thing Liz, please have the girls ask HOW the blanket was made crochet-knit sewn or how I'd like more about this beautiful blanket. This chapter kept me reading straight through, it was fantastic, great storytelling. Love U Anne.

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 03-Jul-2021
    I looked up what finger weaving is. Here is the video:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtBME0YFrLk
reply by Mabaker12 on 03-Jul-2021
    Wow! That is complicated think I'll stick to crochet but it really does look lovely. Thanks for finding it for me, Liz Love Anne
reply by Mabaker12 on 03-Jul-2021
    It really does look complicated
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2021
    yuh, first of all I have no fine motor ability and secondly, I'm not coordinated. It would be a disastrous .
reply by Mabaker12 on 03-Jul-2021
    Just watching the woman demonstrate was sufficient for me. It takes me a fair amount of time to pick up new craft ideas.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2021
    lol. When we had to braid a lanyard at camp I always had someone fix my mess & finish it for me. My grandmother was going to teach me to knit but when she found out I was left-handed, I guess that wasn't going to work. I don't think I could or wanted to learn.
reply by Mabaker12 on 03-Jul-2021
    I had to teach a left-handed woman to crochet and the only way was to have one of us look in a mirror, It couldn't't have been to successful as I can't recall what she made.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2021
    This is funny. That was a good approach. Maybe she finished it after the lessons. You might have been such a good teacher, she was able to work on her own.
reply by Mabaker12 on 04-Jul-2021
    Perhaps, but it is truely a great piece of history and the girls learn a valuable life lesson great writing my friend. Love U Anne.
Comment from equestrik
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I like the story here and I think this is a good presentation for your chapter with the lovely picture to go with your wriing. The story is really lovely.

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 02-Jul-2021
    Thank you for your endearing review. I'm glad you appreciated it.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Heartending as regards the women's fate; captivating as regards the fascinating description of the finger-weaving technique--unique piece, well narrated!


typo:
I can still hear them in my hurting heart and shattered souls=>SOUL"

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 02-Jul-2021
    Thank you for your involved review. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from aryr
Excellent
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This was a great continuation chapter, Liz. It further tells of the meaning of colors to different tribes and why some colors seem more significant. I also loved the part about Aunt Wise Fox and Sweet Juniper his cousin finger weaving the blanket, that alone is a lost or diminishing talent. Very well done and enjoyed.

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 26-Jun-2021
    Thank you for your ever supportive review. I'm glad you enjoyed the subject matter.
reply by aryr on 26-Jun-2021
    You are most welcome/
reply by aryr on 26-Jun-2021
    You are most welcome/
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Great post to make the readers aware of the many missing indigenous women and the crimes against them which have not been brought to justice. I also like the discussion of the blanket and how Liz's questions help us to understand the blanket from an artistic and cultural as well as personal view.

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 26-Jun-2021
    Thank you for your ever supportive review. I'm glad you see the value in the subject matter.
Comment from Judy Lawless
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Thank you for continuing your story, Liz. It gives us more insight into the lives of Native Americans (or Canadians) with your description of what the blanket pictures mean and how they are made. Well written.

I see that your "Background" is being cut off again, but you've added it in your notes. I wonder why this is happening. If you add it to the beginning of your chapter, just as text, and then italicize it, it should all show up.

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 26-Jun-2021
    Thank you for your ever supportive review. I'm glad you see the value in the subject matter. The words are cut off because there is a word limit. I will go back & shorten it.
Comment from Pj Dennison
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Your characterizations are excellent. I have become attached to your characters. When I read your work it is like getting a letter from back home on the rez. I am so glad that you specifically stated that tribes vary in regards to the colors of the four cardinal directions. Even today people do not realize that there are 574 federally recognized tribal nations and each tribe speaks a different language and that the customs differ from tribe to tribe. The similarity exists in the spiritual beliefs are earth-based or a combination of tribal beliefs and Christianity or another religion. All sweat lodges have an opening to the east where the sun comes up.

There is some controversy about whether or not to capitalize in referring to tribal entities. When the first word "native" is lowercased, it generally refers to someone who was born in the territory that is now the United States of America. Since it is a common noun, in this case, referring to anyone born in this territory, it is lowercase. American is capitalized since it refers to a nationality. In referring to nationality the name of the tribe is capitalized. For example, Alice Begay (Navajo Nation, Bitterwater Clan) or There's Sam over there he is Ute.

If you are referring to the indigenous peoples of North America, then you capitalize both words in Native American. If you leave "native" uncapitalized, it would refer to anyone born in the US.

FYI if every you have a Navajo character in your stories here is some reference material

NAVAJO CARDINAL DIRECTIONS

(FYI if you ever have a Navajo character)
Notice there are specific stones associated with each direction and color
The four directions are represented by four colors: White Shell represents the east, Turquoise the south, Yellow Abalone the west, and Jet Black the north. The number four permeates traditional Navajo philosophy.
These four colors are an important part of the way culture and spirituality are passed from one generation to the next. One venue for the transmission of culture is art, and the four colors appear frequently in Navajo spiritual objects and works of art.

In the morning at dawn, we give offerings and pray in the direction of the east. For example:

East - Ha'a'aah

Dawn, birth, beginning of life, a new beginning of each day. Goal setting visualizing, conceptualizing, and developing mental strength capabilities.
Realization, creativity, reasoning, awareness, developing ideas, and forming opinions.

Thank you for writing your book "Traffic" as it is very important people know what is happening to women from reservations and elsewhere. There were some errors that someone else mentioned and my suggestion comes from more of my spiritual belief in that I would encourage you to not feel pushed or in haste when you write. This story has a heart and will speak to you. Burn some sage while you write. Take your time to proofread. HaHa, I just encouraged you to be on what Native Americans refer to as "Indian time." (By the way spell check here just corrected me and made the word Indian capitalized. Coyote is playing with us.



 Comment Written 26-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 26-Jun-2021
    Thank you for your involved review. May I use some of the information you have given me? I am aware my heritage tribe Cree use different colors than Crow. Coyote is ever active. Ha Ha
reply by Pj Dennison on 26-Jun-2021
    (YA'TA'EH Hello Liz. I would be honored if you use any of the information I wrote. Who knows maybe a Navajo person will come on the scene in your story. If you have any specific information you might need please message me. For example, A traditional Navajo will not point at any person because it is considered sorcery. We tend to jut our chin up as to signify something or someone over there. There are funny jokes about us using our lips to point. Navajo never speak of the deceased as it is believed that it interrupts the deceased spirit from the path they are on in the spirit world or if soon after death disrupts the spirit from crossing over and it remains here. Sometimes becoming skinwalkers.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2021
    Thank you
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I have not read the earlier chapters. But I read with interest the story as it interested me because of similar happenings in my country. The characters are realistic and the dialogue keeps the story moving forward. Thanks for sharing!

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 26-Jun-2021
    Thank you for your interested review. I would be interested in knowing more about the disappearances of your women in your country.
    You are invited to visit my portfolio and read the first 13 chapters that are about the rescue of 10 Native teens from a trafficking operation. There is no need to write any review. Some chapters have 150 views. So that many have been reading my story. Every chapter is suspenseful.
Comment from Bonnie Seach
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The story is interesting. The characters are pleasing. Dialogue, when line spaced rather than swamped in a paragraph making it difficult to identify the character who is speaking, gives clarity and enjoyment to the reader.
There are errors which, if corrected will advance this piece.
At this stage work is needed.
Google "writing hints" for free tips and tutorials.
Review instructions allow 4 stars or less where work is needed. This is to encourage an author to improve their skills. We learn together. Best wishes
Recommended for correction:
*Indigenous > use lower case; not a proper noun
*Indigenous Women* for whom... Why does the author use capitals for these 2 words?
*Native > not a proper noun. Why a capital "N"?
Aunt Wise Fox *is* *who*made that blessed blanket you are sitting on. " > these 2 words not necessary. Should be deleted
*and shattered *souls*" > a person has one soul. If the author wishes to establish a traditional, cultural belief it would be helpful if they mentioned it in the author's comments
*the accumulation of* dried mud crumbling from their clothes >
No need for the 3 words. They should be deleted
It is recommended by expert writers that an author should avoid cluttering sentences with unnecessary words.

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 26-Jun-2021
    Thank you for your supportive review. I'm glad you like it.
reply by Bonnie Seach on 26-Jun-2021
    Thank you for responding. For your next review let's aim for a top rating
    Kindest regards 🌹