To Carry
To find the truth we must journey into our hearts.25 total reviews
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hello Mike, this is a lovely Haibun, inspired by a story in the Bible, as a great many stories in life are. So very well written and the moral is so inspiring I could not give you less than a six star reward. Well done, a beautiful read so well written. Warm regards Dorothy x
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2021
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Hello Mike, this is a lovely Haibun, inspired by a story in the Bible, as a great many stories in life are. So very well written and the moral is so inspiring I could not give you less than a six star reward. Well done, a beautiful read so well written. Warm regards Dorothy x
Comment Written 02-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2021
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Hi, Dorothy. Thank you for your kind words and the shiny six stars. They are deeply appreciated!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from QC Poet
I'll have to read up on the Haibun format but did find the writings captivating read interesting. Looking forward to read and learn more poetry forms and styles. Blessings to you for Sharing.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2021
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I'll have to read up on the Haibun format but did find the writings captivating read interesting. Looking forward to read and learn more poetry forms and styles. Blessings to you for Sharing.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2021
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Hello, my friend. Thank you for your kind words!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
I have to admit that I am ignorant about this particular form of poetry. I find the poem interesting and thought-provoking. It comes from the heart. Thank you for sharing!
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2021
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I have to admit that I am ignorant about this particular form of poetry. I find the poem interesting and thought-provoking. It comes from the heart. Thank you for sharing!
Comment Written 02-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2021
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Hello, my friend. This is my first one. Thank you for your kind words!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from Wendy G
I really liked this Haibun. The three part presentation is interesting and thought-provoking, as each develops and expands (or summarises) the preceding.It reminded me of Jesus carrying our heavy burdens, also of Him dining with "unworthy" people. Most of all of His caring compassion. Thank you for sharing this one.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2021
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I really liked this Haibun. The three part presentation is interesting and thought-provoking, as each develops and expands (or summarises) the preceding.It reminded me of Jesus carrying our heavy burdens, also of Him dining with "unworthy" people. Most of all of His caring compassion. Thank you for sharing this one.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2021
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Hi, Wendy. Thank you for your kind words!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Our path in life is strewn with evil deeds all about us and we hope not to become involved in the pain we see, but we can empathise and help others who suffer, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2021
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Our path in life is strewn with evil deeds all about us and we hope not to become involved in the pain we see, but we can empathise and help others who suffer, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 02-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2021
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Hi, Dolly. Thank you for your kind words!
Have a great day and God bless.
mike
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
I don't know a lot about Haibun or even pretend to understand them, but I've seen them before and can appreciate the general idea. I like what you've done with this.
I found an error:
One the trail, we came upon a man
-->
On the trail, we came upon a man
***
I also like the picture from your safari, and appreciate what you've shared in your Notes. I need to work on this, also.
Very well written!
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2021
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I don't know a lot about Haibun or even pretend to understand them, but I've seen them before and can appreciate the general idea. I like what you've done with this.
I found an error:
One the trail, we came upon a man
-->
On the trail, we came upon a man
***
I also like the picture from your safari, and appreciate what you've shared in your Notes. I need to work on this, also.
Very well written!
Comment Written 02-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2021
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Thanks, Mary Kay!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
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You're very welcome, Papa Mike. God bless you, and you have a great day, too! - Mary Kay
Comment from Senyai
Hi Papa55Mike,
This is a great Haibun, I've never attempted one but might gin up the courage soon. Not an easy poetry form to master but you did an excellent job. You started out with a short rhyming poem, included the wonderful prose story ending with a traditional haiku.
A beautiful message conveyed about shouldering another fellow traveler's burden. One of the most admirable traits a person can have. You presented the prose-like story part of the Master with his servants helping out his fellow man who is clearly struggling under his load.
His wife and children at home concern the man when the Master offers him food and drink, which tells of the character of the traveler. The Master then shoulders the traveler's load on the way to share the planned meal at the burdened traveler's home so all can share in the feast!
The Bible teaches so many things if we but seek.
Thank you for posting!
Always,
Senyai
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2021
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Hi Papa55Mike,
This is a great Haibun, I've never attempted one but might gin up the courage soon. Not an easy poetry form to master but you did an excellent job. You started out with a short rhyming poem, included the wonderful prose story ending with a traditional haiku.
A beautiful message conveyed about shouldering another fellow traveler's burden. One of the most admirable traits a person can have. You presented the prose-like story part of the Master with his servants helping out his fellow man who is clearly struggling under his load.
His wife and children at home concern the man when the Master offers him food and drink, which tells of the character of the traveler. The Master then shoulders the traveler's load on the way to share the planned meal at the burdened traveler's home so all can share in the feast!
The Bible teaches so many things if we but seek.
Thank you for posting!
Always,
Senyai
Comment Written 01-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2021
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Hello, my friend. Thank you for your kind words!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
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You too, Papa Mike :-)
Comment from estory
I think you did a pretty good job with this form. Nice juxtaposition of the poetry, and the prose. The prose actually waxed pretty poetic. We had this nice little scene of the good samaritan helping the old and poor traveler, in some poetic sounding dialogue. And the poetry was kind of philosophical, so they went together pretty well. estory
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2021
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I think you did a pretty good job with this form. Nice juxtaposition of the poetry, and the prose. The prose actually waxed pretty poetic. We had this nice little scene of the good samaritan helping the old and poor traveler, in some poetic sounding dialogue. And the poetry was kind of philosophical, so they went together pretty well. estory
Comment Written 01-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2021
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Not bad for a first try. Thanks again!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment from royowen
The habun is hard, I have never quite succeeded, the prose is really a little more curt, with short, choppy statements and such relevancy, with a haiku as its short beacon-like refrain. But beautifully written and illustrated as a physical metaphor, much like Jesus words in parable. Well done Mike. Beautifully written, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2021
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The habun is hard, I have never quite succeeded, the prose is really a little more curt, with short, choppy statements and such relevancy, with a haiku as its short beacon-like refrain. But beautifully written and illustrated as a physical metaphor, much like Jesus words in parable. Well done Mike. Beautifully written, blessings Roy
Comment Written 01-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2021
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Hi, Roy. I read a Haibun in a contest on here and fell in love with it, and this is the first try. Thank you for your kind words!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
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Well done
Comment from karenina
I confess I had to Google it to understand the Haibun form...what I discerned was this"
"What Is Haibun Poetry? Haibun is a poetry form that combines a haiku with a prose poem. Haibun prose is usually descriptive.'
There are likely more specific instructions, but it gave me the general concept and helped me to appreciate what you were offering here.
As I se it you opened with a poem, swung into the prose, and ended with a haiku...
It all blends well together and is (I am guessing) fine to add a poem to the general "recipe" I found on the "web."
More specifically, your theme and message were worthy of reflection. We'd all do well to consider such perspective as we go about our lives!
Karenina
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2021
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I confess I had to Google it to understand the Haibun form...what I discerned was this"
"What Is Haibun Poetry? Haibun is a poetry form that combines a haiku with a prose poem. Haibun prose is usually descriptive.'
There are likely more specific instructions, but it gave me the general concept and helped me to appreciate what you were offering here.
As I se it you opened with a poem, swung into the prose, and ended with a haiku...
It all blends well together and is (I am guessing) fine to add a poem to the general "recipe" I found on the "web."
More specifically, your theme and message were worthy of reflection. We'd all do well to consider such perspective as we go about our lives!
Karenina
Comment Written 01-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2021
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The first one I read was in a contest on here, and I loved it. I had to write one. Is it the right form? We'll see. Thank you for your kind words!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike.
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Again, I am no expert...I scanned your reviews just now and everyone seems to agree this is the right form! Most importantly, it is heartfelt and sincerely presented...Karenina
