Football - A Novel
Viewing comments for Chapter 40 "Football Chapter 20 part 1"A mother faces life's struggles.
28 total reviews
Comment from Ric Myworld
In a world where morals continue to deteriorate, it's sad that the thrill of the chase is gone, never to be experienced for many. Where sleeping around is considered normal by most standards, and only a few of us find it disgusting, and yes, nasty. Your story and characters renew faith that some things should be sacred and cherished for more than a carnival ride. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
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In a world where morals continue to deteriorate, it's sad that the thrill of the chase is gone, never to be experienced for many. Where sleeping around is considered normal by most standards, and only a few of us find it disgusting, and yes, nasty. Your story and characters renew faith that some things should be sacred and cherished for more than a carnival ride. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
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Thank you for understanding.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-This whole piece is eye opening, barbara,
beginning with the opening remarks. I have
never heard of such a thing. I can't even
think of any words to describe what the
district told this colleague. I wonder if
teacher unions are strong down there.
-Now to the story. It was very good,
and I agree with your comments preceding it.
-Gabe and Katherine have been very cautious
and don't even know if they have a relationship yet.
-I liked the section about the girls' meet and
the support everyone gave them.
-It is unfortunate that Sandy showed up, but
every story needs a little spice! It certainly
complicates the relationship between Gabe
and Katherine, and who knows what Mr. Edwards
will say, and what Frost will do!
-I liked Gabe's comments to Joshua and
his respect for Katherine in trying to
get her to understand.
-The ending is touching with Gabe
and young Jeremy, and what I am sure
are Katherine's overwhelming emotions.
-You put a lot into this, and it is appreciated.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
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-This whole piece is eye opening, barbara,
beginning with the opening remarks. I have
never heard of such a thing. I can't even
think of any words to describe what the
district told this colleague. I wonder if
teacher unions are strong down there.
-Now to the story. It was very good,
and I agree with your comments preceding it.
-Gabe and Katherine have been very cautious
and don't even know if they have a relationship yet.
-I liked the section about the girls' meet and
the support everyone gave them.
-It is unfortunate that Sandy showed up, but
every story needs a little spice! It certainly
complicates the relationship between Gabe
and Katherine, and who knows what Mr. Edwards
will say, and what Frost will do!
-I liked Gabe's comments to Joshua and
his respect for Katherine in trying to
get her to understand.
-The ending is touching with Gabe
and young Jeremy, and what I am sure
are Katherine's overwhelming emotions.
-You put a lot into this, and it is appreciated.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
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Thank you for the understanding.
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You are welcome.
Comment from Ben Colder
Oh, be kind to your web foot friends, because a duck might be somebody's mother. LOL. "Give Willie the ball!"
Your story brings razzle-dazzle. Yea, let's gets Frost thawed out.
Who is publishing your book?
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
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Oh, be kind to your web foot friends, because a duck might be somebody's mother. LOL. "Give Willie the ball!"
Your story brings razzle-dazzle. Yea, let's gets Frost thawed out.
Who is publishing your book?
Comment Written 21-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
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No clue about a publisher, yet. I need to have everything mailed into Inklings Publishing by the 30th. I am completing it this week. I wanted to sit on it a few days and reread to make sure it's what I wanted. Thank you for the kind review.
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Are you self-publishing? E-BOOK ONLY? Tradiontail?
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I am hoping NOT to self publish this time. No matter what I do, it will be e-book and traditional. I don't like only e-books, I'm too old fashioned. LOL
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Yes, on your side there.
Comment from Dilettante junior
Dear Barbara,
What a great chapter! I really enjoy where you have taken the plot. The ex showing up, the misunderstanding, the jealousy lol, the lingering kiss in the end. Beautifully told. You never disappoint. I am so glad that Gabriel did not get carried away. Love indeed!
Cant wait to read more!
Cheers,
DJ
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
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Dear Barbara,
What a great chapter! I really enjoy where you have taken the plot. The ex showing up, the misunderstanding, the jealousy lol, the lingering kiss in the end. Beautifully told. You never disappoint. I am so glad that Gabriel did not get carried away. Love indeed!
Cant wait to read more!
Cheers,
DJ
Comment Written 21-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Jay Squires
Congratulations, Barbara. This is a fantastic chapter, well-paced throughout with the chapter's crises timed to effect both Gabriel and Katherine simultaneously. Then, his kissing Katherine to contrast with the passivity of his received kiss by Grace. I think I would have liked to see Katherine resist Gabriel's kiss just a bit, but that's a judgement call. This was, all-in-all excellent writing.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
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Congratulations, Barbara. This is a fantastic chapter, well-paced throughout with the chapter's crises timed to effect both Gabriel and Katherine simultaneously. Then, his kissing Katherine to contrast with the passivity of his received kiss by Grace. I think I would have liked to see Katherine resist Gabriel's kiss just a bit, but that's a judgement call. This was, all-in-all excellent writing.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
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I thought about the resistance but decided against it for two reasons, first she was surprised and second, she liked it. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from lancellot
Good chapter. A little bumpy, some conflict and jumping to conclusions, but in real life those things happen. Matters of the heart are never simple and often messy.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
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Good chapter. A little bumpy, some conflict and jumping to conclusions, but in real life those things happen. Matters of the heart are never simple and often messy.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
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They sure are messy. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Another superb chapter!
Point taken re jumping into bed; I commend you for not resorting to salaciousness; such sensationalism is a cheap device used by mediocre writers in an ill-advised attempt compensate for their dearth of talent.
typos in intro (cited just in case you care about these):
First [COMMA] on Wednesday, a former [team mate=>TEAMMATE] called because she was extremely upset.
[teacher=>TEACHERS] are held to a much higher standard than other professions.
The second point I'd like to make [IS,] Katherine and Gabriel have only known each other 22 days.
Maybe [OMIT COMMA] others do, but not everybody. Also [COMMA] I want to mention, I [could=>COULDN'T] care less
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
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Another superb chapter!
Point taken re jumping into bed; I commend you for not resorting to salaciousness; such sensationalism is a cheap device used by mediocre writers in an ill-advised attempt compensate for their dearth of talent.
typos in intro (cited just in case you care about these):
First [COMMA] on Wednesday, a former [team mate=>TEAMMATE] called because she was extremely upset.
[teacher=>TEACHERS] are held to a much higher standard than other professions.
The second point I'd like to make [IS,] Katherine and Gabriel have only known each other 22 days.
Maybe [OMIT COMMA] others do, but not everybody. Also [COMMA] I want to mention, I [could=>COULDN'T] care less
Comment Written 20-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
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I am not interested in the correcting the intro. It is there because I'm tired of people wanting to write erotica and it's not going to happen. Thank you for the kind review.
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No need to--just felt obliged to earn my salary!
Comment from Sankey
Sorry I took so long to get to this, today. I will message you on some things you said in the intro.
This was a very intense read. It was good, though. Some spags in the intro.... teacher(s) are held to a much higher standard than other professions.
The[i]r(e) are people who are interested in unconditional love and not the lust that is prevalent in our society.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
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Sorry I took so long to get to this, today. I will message you on some things you said in the intro.
This was a very intense read. It was good, though. Some spags in the intro.... teacher(s) are held to a much higher standard than other professions.
The[i]r(e) are people who are interested in unconditional love and not the lust that is prevalent in our society.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
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Thank you for understanding.
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No worries.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
The girls must have won.....were they running solo races...no relays as a team? Then we discover the disruption on the side of the field....it kind of made the event seize.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
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The girls must have won.....were they running solo races...no relays as a team? Then we discover the disruption on the side of the field....it kind of made the event seize.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
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It's cross country, only track has relays. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
barbara:
I awarded you a sixer not only for this chapter but also for your commentary about the "morality clause" that is sometimes written in teacher contracts but is almost always an unwritten expectation. As a principal and assistant superintendent, I always stressed to my staff that we were on the job 24/7 as far as the public was concerned.
I totally agree with you about Katherine and Gabriel not falling into bed together; however, going out for dinner or a movie should be acceptable.
Jan
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
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barbara:
I awarded you a sixer not only for this chapter but also for your commentary about the "morality clause" that is sometimes written in teacher contracts but is almost always an unwritten expectation. As a principal and assistant superintendent, I always stressed to my staff that we were on the job 24/7 as far as the public was concerned.
I totally agree with you about Katherine and Gabriel not falling into bed together; however, going out for dinner or a movie should be acceptable.
Jan
Comment Written 20-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
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I think they are both too busy right now for that. Thank you for the kind review.
