Granny's Doll Story
For the Dialogue Only Club.13 total reviews
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
hello Yvonne.
I grew up in a house with people that all went through the depression. I heard a lot of stories about that time. Your story was well written in dialogue only. I understand the vernacular language you used.
Robert
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2021
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hello Yvonne.
I grew up in a house with people that all went through the depression. I heard a lot of stories about that time. Your story was well written in dialogue only. I understand the vernacular language you used.
Robert
Comment Written 22-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2021
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I'm so glad you did. Thank you, Robert.
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You are welcome, Yvonne.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Edna looks like my gal Sunday!. I had a doll with the same face. That is a lovely dress she has on. This is a nice offering this morning, Yvonne. I love reading stories such as this. Well done. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
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Edna looks like my gal Sunday!. I had a doll with the same face. That is a lovely dress she has on. This is a nice offering this morning, Yvonne. I love reading stories such as this. Well done. Nancy:)
Comment Written 21-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
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Thank you. It's time to put her in some summer attire. I'll get to that later.
Comment from Ben Colder
Now, this is my kind of home-spun reading. Easy and simple to the mind. A good wholesome story that Fan Story needs more of.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
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Now, this is my kind of home-spun reading. Easy and simple to the mind. A good wholesome story that Fan Story needs more of.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2021
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Thank you. That means a lot to me coming from you, such a good writer.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your story of Granny's doll is precious, Yvonne. What a beautiful doll--and to think she is an antique. You have kept her in great shape. Your dialogue is well-written with interesting comments. I like the dialect, too. I could hear it in my mind as I read. It sounded just like a woman with a story to tell to all who would listen. Her pride and love for Edna comes through to readers. The girls enjoyed her story immensely. I like the way Granny handled their little interruptions. All in all she enjoyed telling her story, and the girls loved hearing it. I believe they know in the back of their minds that Edna will one day belong to one of them.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2021
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Your story of Granny's doll is precious, Yvonne. What a beautiful doll--and to think she is an antique. You have kept her in great shape. Your dialogue is well-written with interesting comments. I like the dialect, too. I could hear it in my mind as I read. It sounded just like a woman with a story to tell to all who would listen. Her pride and love for Edna comes through to readers. The girls enjoyed her story immensely. I like the way Granny handled their little interruptions. All in all she enjoyed telling her story, and the girls loved hearing it. I believe they know in the back of their minds that Edna will one day belong to one of them.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 20-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2021
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That's very true. One of them will have to care for Edna. Thank you for this glowing review.
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😊
Comment from aryr
Whew, for a moment I thought for sure I was going crazy because I had was sure I saw something about Edna before. I love your dialogue between Granny and Morgan. You did a wonderful job with this and I really enjoyed this and appreciated it.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2021
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Whew, for a moment I thought for sure I was going crazy because I had was sure I saw something about Edna before. I love your dialogue between Granny and Morgan. You did a wonderful job with this and I really enjoyed this and appreciated it.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2021
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Thank you so much. No, you haven't gone crazy. lol.
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You are so welcome, whew lol.
Comment from Pantygynt
I could follow this easily enough though my contact with accent is only via TV and film in the main. I was advised never to write in dialect and i have ignored that advice consistently but i know why it was given as lack of understanding by the reader destroys the flow for that reader.
I came to the conclusion that i should in the main not play around with the vowel sounds as they are the basis of sound and every reader will have their own. For example you wrote fin'ly and when i first saw it i read the first syllable as fin like the fin on a fish. I realised then it should be read as fine-ly. I think i might have left that one alone and splled it correctly. Because what i believe a writer should do is drop hints based on a rore few wors and idioms. In my current book my Sghropshire accent is based on cunna, shunna, canna, wunna and dinna for couldn't, shouldn't, cannot, wouldn't and didn't plus the use of that for it, and grammatical errors such as you was.and I be. I also try to avoid the obvious contractions in the main, like the dropped final g and initial h. These are so common they add nothing and the reader will get fed up being blinded in a sbowstorm of apostrophes.
I would point out that these are my own ideas and i have no higher authority for this advice except to say that in all the books i have posted on Fanstory Ã? have only had four adverse comments and three of them were from 'one off' reviewers only there for the money and never seen again.
On the other hand I have had a lot of positive reactions so i think i may be doing something right.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2021
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I could follow this easily enough though my contact with accent is only via TV and film in the main. I was advised never to write in dialect and i have ignored that advice consistently but i know why it was given as lack of understanding by the reader destroys the flow for that reader.
I came to the conclusion that i should in the main not play around with the vowel sounds as they are the basis of sound and every reader will have their own. For example you wrote fin'ly and when i first saw it i read the first syllable as fin like the fin on a fish. I realised then it should be read as fine-ly. I think i might have left that one alone and splled it correctly. Because what i believe a writer should do is drop hints based on a rore few wors and idioms. In my current book my Sghropshire accent is based on cunna, shunna, canna, wunna and dinna for couldn't, shouldn't, cannot, wouldn't and didn't plus the use of that for it, and grammatical errors such as you was.and I be. I also try to avoid the obvious contractions in the main, like the dropped final g and initial h. These are so common they add nothing and the reader will get fed up being blinded in a sbowstorm of apostrophes.
I would point out that these are my own ideas and i have no higher authority for this advice except to say that in all the books i have posted on Fanstory Ã? have only had four adverse comments and three of them were from 'one off' reviewers only there for the money and never seen again.
On the other hand I have had a lot of positive reactions so i think i may be doing something right.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2021
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I think you most certainly are doing something right. I probably will never do this again. I'd forgotten how foreign it must sound to non-Americans. Thanks for reviewing and not counting off.
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I thought you made a good stab at it. I shal be looking out for someone who can do mid west to help me out in my next book as i have a farmer from Iowa as a soldier billeted on Jericho Farm.
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I only speak Southernese. lol
Comment from lyenochka
I remember that story, Yvonne! It was your mother's story but I think you're using your own granddaughters' names. So you must have told them this story, too. It really does make us appreciate things so much more than in our throwaway society when things are bought cheap and not treasured.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2021
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I remember that story, Yvonne! It was your mother's story but I think you're using your own granddaughters' names. So you must have told them this story, too. It really does make us appreciate things so much more than in our throwaway society when things are bought cheap and not treasured.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2021
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I'm trying to teach them that. I want someone to appreciate all the family 'heirlooms' after I'm gone. I know John would have. Stewart not so much because of his wife. It seems anything I give him is never seen again. Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from Ulla
Awe, this is just lovely, Yvonne. It was a joy to read and so very well written. It's a great entry for the challenge. I was there with you. The imagery was great. Lots of regards. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2021
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Awe, this is just lovely, Yvonne. It was a joy to read and so very well written. It's a great entry for the challenge. I was there with you. The imagery was great. Lots of regards. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 20-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2021
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Thank you so much. What lovely things to say, and I appreciate them.
Comment from robyn corum
Yvonne,
I enjoyed the story but when I got to the end and realized it was true, I appreciated it even more. *smile* You tickled me saying this vernacular was used in the old days - it's how we all speak NOW! hahahaha
Only one tiny note, if I may:
*Granny Turner's ten-year-old granddaughter as she and her sister sat on the porch steps."
--> don't need the quote marks at the end
Thanks so much!
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2021
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Yvonne,
I enjoyed the story but when I got to the end and realized it was true, I appreciated it even more. *smile* You tickled me saying this vernacular was used in the old days - it's how we all speak NOW! hahahaha
Only one tiny note, if I may:
*Granny Turner's ten-year-old granddaughter as she and her sister sat on the porch steps."
--> don't need the quote marks at the end
Thanks so much!
Comment Written 20-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2021
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Ooops! I'll correct that now. I got lost in the quotation marks. lol. I know we still talk that way, but I didn't want people saying any more about it than they already do.
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gotcha!
Comment from Dawn Munro
Uh oh -- maybe I am misunderstanding what the club is all about, but "dialogue only" means no speech tags; nothing but dialogue, as far as I understand it...?
Otherwise, your story is brilliant, IMHO, only you need to spell out "twenty-five cents".
XXOO
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2021
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Uh oh -- maybe I am misunderstanding what the club is all about, but "dialogue only" means no speech tags; nothing but dialogue, as far as I understand it...?
Otherwise, your story is brilliant, IMHO, only you need to spell out "twenty-five cents".
XXOO
Comment Written 20-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2021
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Thanks, Dawn. I'm glad you liked it.
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:) My pleasure, Yvonne.
