Heart Crafted Poems -2021
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "Bountiful Bubbles"Musings of an old man -2021
27 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Bountiful Bubbles
by JLR
Great free verse about bubbles. Great alliteration and word choices. I think it flows well. I remember playing with bubbles when I was a kid. Well done.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
  |
Bountiful Bubbles
by JLR
Great free verse about bubbles. Great alliteration and word choices. I think it flows well. I remember playing with bubbles when I was a kid. Well done.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
-
Thanks a ton!🙏
Comment from Susan Larson
Oh how I love this. It made me bubble over with delight to follow your picturesque poetry and envision it. And those were the days blowing bubbles out of soapy wands. My grandsons "blow" bubbles out of Bible guns that look like uzis. Wish I still had a six
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
|
Oh how I love this. It made me bubble over with delight to follow your picturesque poetry and envision it. And those were the days blowing bubbles out of soapy wands. My grandsons "blow" bubbles out of Bible guns that look like uzis. Wish I still had a six
Comment Written 15-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
-
Susan, smiling back with a gleeful smile, thanks you!🙏
Comment from Bonnie Seach
The theme and presentation are attractive. Looking at it from a reader's point of view however, I wish the spacing was more generous. I think of flowers dumped into a vase, clumped together with no clear division to identify each one, compared with a vase of flowers beautifully arranged to render them distinctive and orderly.
A writer must always coax the reader. Best wishes
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
|
The theme and presentation are attractive. Looking at it from a reader's point of view however, I wish the spacing was more generous. I think of flowers dumped into a vase, clumped together with no clear division to identify each one, compared with a vase of flowers beautifully arranged to render them distinctive and orderly.
A writer must always coax the reader. Best wishes
Comment Written 15-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
-
Bonnie thank you I will revisit this spacing 🙏
-
What an agreeable person you are. I wish you great success. I will feel privileged to have another opportunity for reviewing your work. Kindest regards
Comment from Janetsue
This is a beautiful posting expressing the joy of bubbles. The imagery is wonderful and you are giving the reader a lot to ponder upon regarding many of nature's bubbly presentations and how they elicit positive emotions. :-)
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
|
This is a beautiful posting expressing the joy of bubbles. The imagery is wonderful and you are giving the reader a lot to ponder upon regarding many of nature's bubbly presentations and how they elicit positive emotions. :-)
Comment Written 15-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
-
Spangle thanks so very much for your review! 🙏
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This is the second poem I've read about bubbles. I now know why, it's a club challenge. Well, us reviewers are the lucky ones because bubble make everybody happy. This poem about bubbles made me smile. Thank you.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
|
This is the second poem I've read about bubbles. I now know why, it's a club challenge. Well, us reviewers are the lucky ones because bubble make everybody happy. This poem about bubbles made me smile. Thank you.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
-
Smiles...
Comment from Pantygynt
This I remember, Jim, is your favourite genre, and you show us just why in this masterful treatment of the water-cycle. I would have valued this poem when I was teaching Geography as well as English.
Just a few suggestions to take or leave:
'as they twist and swirl catching themselves flowing within
the boundaries of the ever-flowing mountain stream.'
I think that two 'flowings' is one flowing too many. Would the first one changed to 'falling' be more appropriate.
along my line of (site) => I think you meant sight.
Would it feel more rhythmical written 'simply to release'?
Just in case you are interested, my autumn class will be 'Poetic Devices in Free Verse'. It will be opened up probably next month. I would love to have you aboard again.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
|
This I remember, Jim, is your favourite genre, and you show us just why in this masterful treatment of the water-cycle. I would have valued this poem when I was teaching Geography as well as English.
Just a few suggestions to take or leave:
'as they twist and swirl catching themselves flowing within
the boundaries of the ever-flowing mountain stream.'
I think that two 'flowings' is one flowing too many. Would the first one changed to 'falling' be more appropriate.
along my line of (site) => I think you meant sight.
Would it feel more rhythmical written 'simply to release'?
Just in case you are interested, my autumn class will be 'Poetic Devices in Free Verse'. It will be opened up probably next month. I would love to have you aboard again.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
-
Jim, I sure to appreciate review and morsels fed to med to polish, polish and polish my work more. :) I regret that, while I can drop in from time to time and submit my favorite genre, I am still engaged in this consulting jig, when I will terminate next March 1st.
Until then HAPPY BIRTHDAY ... a bit early friend!
-
Many thanks of the day. Once again you will be missed. I hope it is earning you lots of money.
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Aha! The king of Free Verse! Yes, you do a superb job of imagery in these free-floating poems. You are very good at pulling a subject out of thin
air and translating it into the moment.
As a child, I was mesmerized by the blown bubbles.
Ralf
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
|
Aha! The king of Free Verse! Yes, you do a superb job of imagery in these free-floating poems. You are very good at pulling a subject out of thin
air and translating it into the moment.
As a child, I was mesmerized by the blown bubbles.
Ralf
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
-
Smiling back! Humbly yours, Jim
