Rain Dance
Relief from the heat7 total reviews
Comment from equestrik
I love the rain as well and this summer we are already in a real drought here in the western US. Your picture is wonderful and your writing goes perfectly with it.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
  |
I love the rain as well and this summer we are already in a real drought here in the western US. Your picture is wonderful and your writing goes perfectly with it.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
-
Thank you for such a nice review. Have a great day. :)
Comment from Cat Merto
Nice done poem
Monorhyme theme better to play in the rain to bake in sun had nice rythms
And tempo
Flowed well
Expect i won't be playing in lightning
A bit dangerous
Nice
Moving illustration
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2021
|
Nice done poem
Monorhyme theme better to play in the rain to bake in sun had nice rythms
And tempo
Flowed well
Expect i won't be playing in lightning
A bit dangerous
Nice
Moving illustration
Comment Written 14-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2021
-
Thanks for this great review, it's really appreciated. :)
-
Your welcome
Good luck in the contest.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I used to tan my skin, but not anymore, it has taken me a lifetime to realise the sun can be harmful! He he he, and here you bring a welcome summer storm, great flow,much enjoyed, a fine presentation, great monorhymes, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2021
|
I used to tan my skin, but not anymore, it has taken me a lifetime to realise the sun can be harmful! He he he, and here you bring a welcome summer storm, great flow,much enjoyed, a fine presentation, great monorhymes, love Dolly x
Comment Written 14-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2021
-
Thank you for reading my poem. I've never liked being in the sun, my mom called me her little half vampire. Thanks for this wonderful review. :)
Comment from AprilViolet
I just love a good rainstorm and I can tell you do as well! There is just something about rainstorms that relax me! I love the way your poem flowed. Exceptional in my opinion. 6 stars!
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2021
 |
I just love a good rainstorm and I can tell you do as well! There is just something about rainstorms that relax me! I love the way your poem flowed. Exceptional in my opinion. 6 stars!
Comment Written 13-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2021
-
Thank you for always liking my poetry and for these great reviews. :)
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a good job with your monorhyme contest entry. I really like the animated image. You told a good little story, too. I hope the CEC will allow the added 's' on your ending rhymes in places. However, I would either use the 'ay' sound or the 'ays' sound but not both. This is just my opinion as I'm not the judge. Best wshes.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
I woke up to an exciting day,
dark clouds were forming across the bay.
I knew a storm was on its way,
and soon outside I'd go and play.
I love the rain, I hope it stays, [I love the rain, please, let it stay]
a lovely break from sun's hot rays. [a break from hot ray after ray ]
It's been too long, so many days, [it's been too long, day upon day ]
underneath the sun's bright blaze. [as I bake to a hardened clay ]
I prayed for rain, or just a haze, [I pray for rain to come my way ]
as I sat baking on a chaise. [[as I swelter, to hot to play ]
Hot weather leaves me in a daze, [hot weather fills me with dismay]
as I used many sun screen sprays. [ I need a giant cooling spray ]
Don't understand this tanning craze, [Don't like to hear what some will say ]
I think maybe it's just a faze. [the weather's fine--rain stay away ]
Sunburns hurt and your skin flays, [ just don't get caught up in their fray ]
putting you in a malaise. [I hope the sky soon turns to gray ]
But the clouds across the bay,
will bring relief in cooling ways. [will soon unleash without delay ]
As rain drops through the land will splay,
as lighting puts on its display.
Thunder above will make us sway,
as we dance the heat away.
I woke up to an exciting day,
dark clouds were forming across they bay.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2021
|
You did a good job with your monorhyme contest entry. I really like the animated image. You told a good little story, too. I hope the CEC will allow the added 's' on your ending rhymes in places. However, I would either use the 'ay' sound or the 'ays' sound but not both. This is just my opinion as I'm not the judge. Best wshes.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
I woke up to an exciting day,
dark clouds were forming across the bay.
I knew a storm was on its way,
and soon outside I'd go and play.
I love the rain, I hope it stays, [I love the rain, please, let it stay]
a lovely break from sun's hot rays. [a break from hot ray after ray ]
It's been too long, so many days, [it's been too long, day upon day ]
underneath the sun's bright blaze. [as I bake to a hardened clay ]
I prayed for rain, or just a haze, [I pray for rain to come my way ]
as I sat baking on a chaise. [[as I swelter, to hot to play ]
Hot weather leaves me in a daze, [hot weather fills me with dismay]
as I used many sun screen sprays. [ I need a giant cooling spray ]
Don't understand this tanning craze, [Don't like to hear what some will say ]
I think maybe it's just a faze. [the weather's fine--rain stay away ]
Sunburns hurt and your skin flays, [ just don't get caught up in their fray ]
putting you in a malaise. [I hope the sky soon turns to gray ]
But the clouds across the bay,
will bring relief in cooling ways. [will soon unleash without delay ]
As rain drops through the land will splay,
as lighting puts on its display.
Thunder above will make us sway,
as we dance the heat away.
I woke up to an exciting day,
dark clouds were forming across they bay.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2021
-
Thank you, you always give such great reviews and helpful advice. I will look it over and please know how much I appreciate it. :)
-
😊 I hope it helps. I would hate to see this DQed.
Comment from Janetsue
Walking through a sun shower is one of my favorite things to do. I have never minded thunder and have always liked the sound of falling rain. I enjoyed reading this very much.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2021
|
Walking through a sun shower is one of my favorite things to do. I have never minded thunder and have always liked the sound of falling rain. I enjoyed reading this very much.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2021
-
Thank you for this terrific review, I really appreciate it. :)
Comment from Susan Newell
On second read I discovered this:
with lighting on display. -- lightning?
You've done a great job with this ver difficult contest. I enjoyed every line. You were able to stick to the subject matter and make sense.
just a faze. ==> phase (sneaky homonym)
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2021
|
On second read I discovered this:
with lighting on display. -- lightning?
You've done a great job with this ver difficult contest. I enjoyed every line. You were able to stick to the subject matter and make sense.
just a faze. ==> phase (sneaky homonym)
Comment Written 13-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2021
-
Thank you for this nice review and for the correction, it's always appreciated. :)
-
You are welcome!
