Vivian goes to the Dogs!
knowing a sure bet.27 total reviews
Comment from Victoria MacDonald
This is a delightful story. I loved the descriptive language, the dialogue, and the humor. I felt as if I were right there, observing an entertaining couple and chuckling at Miss Vivian's quips and zany explanations for her choices. I couldn't help but love the way the two "tangoed."
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2021
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This is a delightful story. I loved the descriptive language, the dialogue, and the humor. I felt as if I were right there, observing an entertaining couple and chuckling at Miss Vivian's quips and zany explanations for her choices. I couldn't help but love the way the two "tangoed."
Comment Written 10-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2021
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Thank you Victoria, I truly appreciate your kind words and rating.
It is very much appreciated.
Regards,
Mary
Comment from nomi338
Funny stories about real people and real events are the best. Why? Because people are naturally funny, funnier than something even the best comedians can invent. What great comedians do is to take a real person or real event and maybe exaggerate it a bit and you wind up with a comedic gem.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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Funny stories about real people and real events are the best. Why? Because people are naturally funny, funnier than something even the best comedians can invent. What great comedians do is to take a real person or real event and maybe exaggerate it a bit and you wind up with a comedic gem.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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Thank you I appreciate your review. I agree people can be quirky and entertaining and you add a little flavor to their story.
Take care and regards,
Mary
Comment from BethShelby
I love your Vivian stories. She sounds like a real character. Vivian should have her own sitcom or comic stirp. I enjoy stories that make me laugh and you know how to write them.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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I love your Vivian stories. She sounds like a real character. Vivian should have her own sitcom or comic stirp. I enjoy stories that make me laugh and you know how to write them.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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I am glad that you enjoyed the story. Thank you for the review. It is greatly appreciated.
Regards,
Mary
Comment from equestrik
This is a pretty hilarious story and you have told it well easily keeping the reader's interest throughout. Your characters are believable and funny making the story entertaining.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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This is a pretty hilarious story and you have told it well easily keeping the reader's interest throughout. Your characters are believable and funny making the story entertaining.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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Thank you for your review and very kind words. It is much appreciated.
Take care,
Mary
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I enjoyed reading this story, but please be careful with your paragraphs.
"What did you use, a hatchet? It looks like a swarm of bloodsuckers attacked your head.
"I would keep your hat on. The sun bouncing off your bald head will blind other drivers. It makes your ears too big. You will be able to receive radio waves with those things sticking out from the side of your head." (Vivian is speaking in this entire paragraph. You don't need the beginning quotation marks before 'I' and you need to move it to the same line as 'head'.)
Eddie, looking at the tote board objected. "Didn't you look at the odds on #3? It is a 10 to 1 shot." (comma needed after objected)
"Just do as I say." Vivian, tightening her crooked mouth, looked agitated.
Eddie returned just as he heard over the loudspeaker: "There goes Swifty."
The race was on, and as the dogs rounded the track, #3 King Tut, came up from behind. They both watched as he crossed the finish line first.
Eddie let out a whoop and his loud donkey laugh made those in the Clubhouse turn their attention to him.
"How did you pick that dog to win?" Eddie was puzzled that Vivian was successful in picking out the winner. (The first two sentences are Vivian speaking and the rest is Eddie. You need a space after agitated. Also a space after 'first.' Then move 'How' up to 'him.')
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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I enjoyed reading this story, but please be careful with your paragraphs.
"What did you use, a hatchet? It looks like a swarm of bloodsuckers attacked your head.
"I would keep your hat on. The sun bouncing off your bald head will blind other drivers. It makes your ears too big. You will be able to receive radio waves with those things sticking out from the side of your head." (Vivian is speaking in this entire paragraph. You don't need the beginning quotation marks before 'I' and you need to move it to the same line as 'head'.)
Eddie, looking at the tote board objected. "Didn't you look at the odds on #3? It is a 10 to 1 shot." (comma needed after objected)
"Just do as I say." Vivian, tightening her crooked mouth, looked agitated.
Eddie returned just as he heard over the loudspeaker: "There goes Swifty."
The race was on, and as the dogs rounded the track, #3 King Tut, came up from behind. They both watched as he crossed the finish line first.
Eddie let out a whoop and his loud donkey laugh made those in the Clubhouse turn their attention to him.
"How did you pick that dog to win?" Eddie was puzzled that Vivian was successful in picking out the winner. (The first two sentences are Vivian speaking and the rest is Eddie. You need a space after agitated. Also a space after 'first.' Then move 'How' up to 'him.')
Comment Written 10-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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Thank you for your review and comments.it is helpful.
Regards
Mary
Comment from Ronni
Hi dear Mary,
Quite cocky and wacky way or formula for picking a winning dog in
dog races, based on personal family traits or habits! Vivian no
less cocky or eccentric herself, so sure they'd all win, till the one
at last that did not...her sister-in-law! Who would be so crazy as
to 'bet' on a sister-in-law in jest or real life? Still assuming it was
a loss due to her sister-in-law's revenge against her...Vivian was!
The punch line at end of this story here, is priceless and
precious, and so realistically exposing human nature flaws and
presumptions are never a sure bet, on anything, least of all dogs!
Thanks for sharing, was fun read!
Note: Takes me a bit longer to read longer stories due to certain
visual issues, but nonetheless I do get to it. With your stories
happily so even if slower at times. God Bless!
Appreciations and best wishes always, Ronni
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2021
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Hi dear Mary,
Quite cocky and wacky way or formula for picking a winning dog in
dog races, based on personal family traits or habits! Vivian no
less cocky or eccentric herself, so sure they'd all win, till the one
at last that did not...her sister-in-law! Who would be so crazy as
to 'bet' on a sister-in-law in jest or real life? Still assuming it was
a loss due to her sister-in-law's revenge against her...Vivian was!
The punch line at end of this story here, is priceless and
precious, and so realistically exposing human nature flaws and
presumptions are never a sure bet, on anything, least of all dogs!
Thanks for sharing, was fun read!
Note: Takes me a bit longer to read longer stories due to certain
visual issues, but nonetheless I do get to it. With your stories
happily so even if slower at times. God Bless!
Appreciations and best wishes always, Ronni
Comment Written 09-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2021
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As always Ronni, I appreciate your kind thoughts in reviewing my stories. Vivian was an eccentric character.
Take care of yourself.
Regards,
Mary
Comment from lancellot
Ha, I have a feeling Vivian didn't need the money anyway. She just liked having something to do that reminded her of people she used to be with.
A very enjoyable story. You've made an interesting character. You keep her going.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2021
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Ha, I have a feeling Vivian didn't need the money anyway. She just liked having something to do that reminded her of people she used to be with.
A very enjoyable story. You've made an interesting character. You keep her going.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2021
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Thank you for your review and kind thoughts. Yes, Your right, she lived quite well on a pension from the auto industry plus her Dan's pension.
Regards,
Mary
Comment from royowen
I can remember going to the races with my wife and mother, I asked what was their choice in the first race, the both chorused "The Gamp." They cried, I said, "Why?" They said it looked friendless and needed a friend, and besides they liked its name, I backed the favourite, a beautiful chestnut called Hovercraft. There's won easily, I think at 25/1, heh heh, don't argue with "logic". Well done Mary, great story, blessings Roy
Typo : What did you use(,) a hatchet?
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2021
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I can remember going to the races with my wife and mother, I asked what was their choice in the first race, the both chorused "The Gamp." They cried, I said, "Why?" They said it looked friendless and needed a friend, and besides they liked its name, I backed the favourite, a beautiful chestnut called Hovercraft. There's won easily, I think at 25/1, heh heh, don't argue with "logic". Well done Mary, great story, blessings Roy
Typo : What did you use(,) a hatchet?
Comment Written 08-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2021
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Thank you Roy for the review. I guess your right, you cannot argue with someone's logic.
Thank you for the correction, it is appreciated.
Blessings always
Mary
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Well done Mary
Comment from P. Finn
I enjoyed reading this.Your characters are clear but maybe a bit of sterotype. The punch line says it all and brings a smile. I enjoyed the fast dialogue.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2021
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I enjoyed reading this.Your characters are clear but maybe a bit of sterotype. The punch line says it all and brings a smile. I enjoyed the fast dialogue.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2021
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Thank you. As in my notes and other works regarding the two, I actually captured their personalities. Vivian did behave that way, Genesee beer was her beverage of choice and said water did gag her. She always acted as if she was a grand dame! In my earlier piece which was absolutely true, she teased my dad by coming on to him. He was terrified. Eddie was a character himself, he did have a donkey type laugh, never dressed up and the only thing I did not put in the writing is that he smelled terrible.
Regards.
Mary
Comment from tfawcus
Great repartee between these two sharply drawn characters. Most entertaining. Loved the betting system, too. However, I was pretty certain it wasn't going to bring in the trifecta!
Is there a word missing here? "How did you pick that dog to win?" Eddie (was) puzzled that Vivian was successful in picking out the winner.
or, perhaps, Eddie puzzled over Vivian's success in...
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2021
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Great repartee between these two sharply drawn characters. Most entertaining. Loved the betting system, too. However, I was pretty certain it wasn't going to bring in the trifecta!
Is there a word missing here? "How did you pick that dog to win?" Eddie (was) puzzled that Vivian was successful in picking out the winner.
or, perhaps, Eddie puzzled over Vivian's success in...
Comment Written 08-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2021
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Than you Tony for your review. It is appreciated. I see your point very well. I did not think I missed a word. (My grammar) however, you have a good point. I will correct.
Regards
Mary
