On the Edge of Deception Pg 49
Ric pays Nancy a visit.....19 total reviews
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
Very smooth police work! It looks like the detectives caught a very slippery fish. They distracted her, she let down her guard and then they made the arrest.
Just one minor suggestion:
I'm smarter than she'll ever be so quit worrying.
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I'm smarter than she'll ever be, so quit worrying.
***
It looks like the end of the line, for Nancy.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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Very smooth police work! It looks like the detectives caught a very slippery fish. They distracted her, she let down her guard and then they made the arrest.
Just one minor suggestion:
I'm smarter than she'll ever be so quit worrying.
-->
I'm smarter than she'll ever be, so quit worrying.
***
It looks like the end of the line, for Nancy.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2021
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Thanks Mary Kay for the kind review and for the suggestion... I always appreciate your help. Smiles, Carol
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You're very welcome, Carol. I'm always happy to add my 2 cents, if I can :-) Love, Mary Kay xoxo
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Ha, ha the pigeon has landed and with it the chance to get Beth out of the prison and finally getting a better life. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings and the next chapter.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2021
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Ha, ha the pigeon has landed and with it the chance to get Beth out of the prison and finally getting a better life. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings and the next chapter.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2021
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Good morning Iza... Thank you for the review and taking the time to read my story. I was surprised by the four stars... were you unhappy with the story or was it an accident? Is there something I should change? Smiles, Carol
Comment from robyn corum
Carol,
Wow. That was awfully nice of them. To take her out the back and not carry her right through the middle of her customers and make a big show. Sometimes cops can be so nice! Good chap - I enjoyed!
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2021
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Carol,
Wow. That was awfully nice of them. To take her out the back and not carry her right through the middle of her customers and make a big show. Sometimes cops can be so nice! Good chap - I enjoyed!
Comment Written 08-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2021
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I know... but wait till she sees everyone waiting for her at the vineyard... should be a great day for a tea party. LOL Smiles, Carol
Comment from justafan
Another brilliant chapter in this who done it, my creative and lovely friend.
You truly amaze me how you can switch gears so effortlessly between genre's.
Love stories to murder mysteries and everything in-between, you nail it.
Thank you for sharing your talent with us.
Always
Justafan of yours
Missy
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2021
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Another brilliant chapter in this who done it, my creative and lovely friend.
You truly amaze me how you can switch gears so effortlessly between genre's.
Love stories to murder mysteries and everything in-between, you nail it.
Thank you for sharing your talent with us.
Always
Justafan of yours
Missy
Comment Written 07-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2021
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Thanks for warming my heart this morning, Missy... You put a smile on my face and I so appreciate it.
I'm like a bed and breakfast... room for everyone! My heart is filled with so many emotions and opening the doors and sharing seems like the right thing to do. Especially with friends that return the love and friendship like you. Smiles, Carol
Comment from LJbutterfly
Finally, slick Nancy is arrested, and it's about to go down. Who knows what will happen once Shorty and Paco see Amanda, and Nancy sees Spider and Daisy. I'm like Ric with a grin covering my face.
Question: Did I miss something, or misunderstand something? In episode 31, Judge Mckay pounded his gavel and said, "The court will adjourn for lunch. Everyone is asked to clear the courtroom until 2pm, at which time the States Attorney's Office will give an opening statement."
It seems like several days in the story have passed since then. Did they return to court but forgot to invite me? Anyway, this is intriguing. See you in the next chapter.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
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Finally, slick Nancy is arrested, and it's about to go down. Who knows what will happen once Shorty and Paco see Amanda, and Nancy sees Spider and Daisy. I'm like Ric with a grin covering my face.
Question: Did I miss something, or misunderstand something? In episode 31, Judge Mckay pounded his gavel and said, "The court will adjourn for lunch. Everyone is asked to clear the courtroom until 2pm, at which time the States Attorney's Office will give an opening statement."
It seems like several days in the story have passed since then. Did they return to court but forgot to invite me? Anyway, this is intriguing. See you in the next chapter.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
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No, I put a short note in that said a juror was sick and the court will resume on Monday... Today is Sunday.... I suppose I should have made it a bit clearer along the way and when I go back I will do that. Thanks for reminding me. Smiles, Carol
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Thanks. I thought I must have missed something, because so far, you've thought of all of the details.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Now we're getting somewhere. I've still to see what Spider's part is going to be. I like him, funnily enough. Nancy is going to go balistic. Lol, and hopefully, it will all come out and dear Beth will be in the clear. And Amanda, how is she doing? I have to wait and see. Another wonderful chapter, my friend. :)) Sandra. xx
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
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Now we're getting somewhere. I've still to see what Spider's part is going to be. I like him, funnily enough. Nancy is going to go balistic. Lol, and hopefully, it will all come out and dear Beth will be in the clear. And Amanda, how is she doing? I have to wait and see. Another wonderful chapter, my friend. :)) Sandra. xx
Comment Written 07-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
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Amanda has insisted on being there when the interviews begin...She threatened to check out of the hospital so I think she has a lot to say. Nancy is really going to skyrocket when she sees them all. Hope shes got something to offer or she's going down big time. Smiles, Carol
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Now that will be exciting! Can't wait for that. I really like Amanda. She's a gutsy lady!!
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
We are finally exposing the secrets the police have been collecting. Nancy isn't quite with it yet. She thinks this is based on Daisy Mae Collins's possible lies. I think you've built the suspense up superbly here and Nancy is in for a big surprise.
Ralf
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
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We are finally exposing the secrets the police have been collecting. Nancy isn't quite with it yet. She thinks this is based on Daisy Mae Collins's possible lies. I think you've built the suspense up superbly here and Nancy is in for a big surprise.
Ralf
Comment Written 07-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
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Yes... Can't wait till Nancy sees them all sitting in their cubicles...wonder how cool she will be then? Smiles, Carol
Comment from Leann DS
Excellent. Everything flowed perfectly and sounded totally believable, except for one thing... When Rick said "darn it..." take it from the chick with a trucker mouth... He should either say "shit" or "dammit.":-)
I focused on Nancy's reactions, and I think they're perfect. I'm not sure if you already did this because my screen reader does not tell me about font, but when she is doing her internal dialogue, thoughts, did you put that in italic? if so, I have no other suggestions or modifications for you.
Great job!
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
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Excellent. Everything flowed perfectly and sounded totally believable, except for one thing... When Rick said "darn it..." take it from the chick with a trucker mouth... He should either say "shit" or "dammit.":-)
I focused on Nancy's reactions, and I think they're perfect. I'm not sure if you already did this because my screen reader does not tell me about font, but when she is doing her internal dialogue, thoughts, did you put that in italic? if so, I have no other suggestions or modifications for you.
Great job!
Comment Written 07-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
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Leann, I agree on the language... So you are one of those girls (like my daughter) with the trucker mouth. LOL I will change now that some have read it. And her thoughts were supposed to be in italic but I will check just to make sure. glad you enjoyed it! Smiles, Carol
Comment from Patty Palmer
Oh, boy! Things are starting to take shape now that they've started arresting people. You're very good at making the reader understand what's going on.
xxoo Patty
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
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Oh, boy! Things are starting to take shape now that they've started arresting people. You're very good at making the reader understand what's going on.
xxoo Patty
Comment Written 07-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
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Thank you, Patty.. I am glad that the story is holding your interest and and you have continued to read. I appreciate it very much. Smiles, Carol
Comment from karenina
Not sure what this says about me, but I have zip, zero, nada empathy for this woman's predicament! She's A murderous shrew and it's about time karma kicked her in the buttocks! Extremely satisfying read! The hammered coming down! Hurrah!
Karenina
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
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Not sure what this says about me, but I have zip, zero, nada empathy for this woman's predicament! She's A murderous shrew and it's about time karma kicked her in the buttocks! Extremely satisfying read! The hammered coming down! Hurrah!
Karenina
Comment Written 07-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
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Good morning and thanks for the smile! I too believe Nancy has this coming... all good things come to those who wait... and we have waited!!! She was young and life dealt her some bad cards, but she continued to make the choices and now must pay the price. Unfortunately, like law enforcement does, they'll probably cut her a deal to get the info they need. It should lbe interesting. Smiles, Carol
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Hmmm. Yes, "deals" seem to be the way justice is meted out these days...
I'll be looking forward to reading how this plays out!--Karenina
