Reviews from

The Chronicals Of Bethica: The Rise

Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "The Chronicles Of Bethica"
Abram must defeat a deadly humanoid race of beings

10 total reviews 
Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Brehira sure had a way with words . . . I mean, wine. But all that really matters is that it worked, or at least we hope it does, and the princess and the crews are safe for now. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 13-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 13-Jul-2021
    I love my creation of Brehira. I tried to give her wisdom. Thanks, Rick.
reply by Ric Myworld on 14-Jul-2021
    My old friend, Sam Shepard, once told me that plot and theme would be nothing without characters. An award winning playwright, author, and actor, I figure he is worth listening to. Your story is the whole package, but it's the characters that drew me in most.
Comment from justafan
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I love this book! I was hooked on chapter 4, so while waiting on 5 I got caught up. Everything about this book holds my attention!
Bring on Chapter 6! :)

BRAVO!
Always
Justafan of yours
Missy

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 04-Jun-2021
    Ah...thank you so much. I'm taking people's advice and cutting my remaining chapters into part1 and part2. So Chapter 6 part 1 is on it's way. I hope you'll like it.
    Blessings.

reply by justafan on 04-Jun-2021
    I am positive I will.
    :)
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Excellent
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The princess is very clever and since she doesn't want to go back, found a very original way to avoid the bloodshed. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 04-Jun-2021
    Thank you for the review.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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Women are very smart indeed, could it be because of the physical dominance of men that women have become so resourceful? I remember hearing, "Men may be head of the house, but the woman is the neck." I liked this episode with the princess being saved from being taken back to her wicked father, beating written my friend, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 02-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 02-Jun-2021
    Thank you so much, Roy. I really enjoyed writing this chapter. Glad you're sticking with the story. I really appreciate you, Roy. Blessings.
reply by royowen on 02-Jun-2021
    Most welcome
Comment from Judy Lawless
Excellent
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This is a marvelous read, Amahra! It flowed quickly and smoothly, while conveying many emotions. And it had a happy ending, which is always good. :) I look forward to the next chapter.

A couple of spags:
"desire to ask(ed) Myrah for her hand."

"...eased open(ed) the lid and..."

"She's an imposter?(!) Let's go..."

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 01-Jun-2021
    Thank you, Judy and I'll see to the sprags.
Comment from Ulla
Excellent
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Hi amahra, this was a great chapter. It reads very well and It is also very written. The dialogue was great. So they managed to get rid of the king's men, and a marriage proposal took place in the process. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 01-Jun-2021
    Thank you so much, Ulla. So glad you liked it.Oh, thank you so much, B
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
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This is the first time I've read your work. I don't want to miss any more. I will become a fan.

"What about your Father? (lower case 'f' on father because of the your)


"Well. I'll leave you alone," Dinary said. He turned to leave. (TRY - "Well. I'll leave you alone." He turned to leave. - for a tighter read)


"I've heard of him. But what could he possibly want with me?" Dordrecht asked. He brushed past the men and sprinted for the stairs. (TRY - "I've heard of him. But what could he possibly want with me?" He brushed past the men and sprinted for the stairs. - for a tighter read)

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 01-Jun-2021
    Oh, thank you so much, Barbara. I've admired your writing for many years. And I'm so glad to have you as a reviewer of my work. I will use your suggestions. It does read better.
Comment from Erika Seshadri
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Good morning! What delightful writing with solid dialogue. I enjoyed this read very much.

The only complaint I have is that Dinary and Myrah made a huge time skip from their first meet to kissing in the hallway. I would love to know a little more about how that relationship developed. I feel like its depth is important for later on when it turns out she's a princess.

Awesome story, though.

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 01-Jun-2021
    Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. I'll consider giving that scene a little more meat.
Comment from Lana Marie
Excellent
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This was really good!!!
I generally don't read non fiction books, but you had me wanting to read more and find out what was going on. You do a great job describing the scenes, the dialect, the personalities and emotion of your characters !!

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2021


reply by the author on 01-Jun-2021
    Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
    Blessings.
Comment from Jay Squires
Excellent
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You have such a rare gift, Amahra. I read this, thoroughly entranced by its twists and turns, and got to the end of it only to find that I can't award it with the six that it deserves. I only follow those whose writings I feel will deserve a six, and most of them post late Saturday night or during the day Sunday. I gave out my last six today. I did find a leprechaun wandering about with a sign saying, "...and maybe more". I sent him your way.

I only had one question for you:

Myrah nodded and folded her lips [What does this mean: "folded her lips"?]


 Comment Written 31-May-2021


reply by the author on 01-Jun-2021
    Thank you for reading and reviewing, Jay. I don't want a six-star rating from you; what I value are your excellent feedback and comments which you never fail to provide. Forget about six stars.

    Folding lips...Pulling your lips inwardly as to suppress a smile. But if you have a better way of saying, please, I welcome it.
reply by Jay Squires on 01-Jun-2021
    I don't know ... folding lips conjures up an image that's tantamount to folding sheets. Why not something like, "sucking in her lips to suppress a smile."?

    And thank you for your understanding about the "six" issue. Honestly yours was heads above most everything I'd read. I felt horrible.
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2021
    See! I knew you'd come up with something. haha! Now, do you see why I don't care about a six? lol
reply by Jay Squires on 01-Jun-2021
    THANK YOU, AMAHRA!