The Orange
A Fictional tale by Eric C Goose63 total reviews
Comment from Narvik
Wow, this was humorous and witty and had a great message all in one. It just flowed along seamlessly all the way through. After the 3rd verse I kind of suspected there'd be a message there, and the message is inclusion. A good one.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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Wow, this was humorous and witty and had a great message all in one. It just flowed along seamlessly all the way through. After the 3rd verse I kind of suspected there'd be a message there, and the message is inclusion. A good one.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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Thanks for your exceptional review
Comment from LJbutterfly
It's interesting that the fruit who would be king is Orange and is named "Don," and lies. If this creative, poetic story is not political satire, is it racial satire? In any event, the story line is captivating and smooth flowing. I'm glad that "Don" eventually realized the apples had value and invited them to return to the kingdom, even though they had other plans.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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It's interesting that the fruit who would be king is Orange and is named "Don," and lies. If this creative, poetic story is not political satire, is it racial satire? In any event, the story line is captivating and smooth flowing. I'm glad that "Don" eventually realized the apples had value and invited them to return to the kingdom, even though they had other plans.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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Thanks for the excellent review
Comment from QC Poet
A fruitful fictional character story that sounds a bit real. Witty and creative writing. Thanks for Sharing your "fictional" work and poetry tale that was very believable.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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A fruitful fictional character story that sounds a bit real. Witty and creative writing. Thanks for Sharing your "fictional" work and poetry tale that was very believable.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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Thanks for the excellent review
Comment from elchupakabra
There is no political satire intended - well this is just a lie. I don't care for the former Orangutang in Chief but let's not pretend we're not both referring to one Donald Trump. You can say 'no political agenda' attached and that's still technically not true but at least it's plausible.
My biggest offense with this piece was the fact that you did not rhyme Orange, it was right there. You even had cringe/syringe. Killin me lol.
The actual poem is good, the two notes above were minor and in good fun. Thanks for sharing. Later daze.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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There is no political satire intended - well this is just a lie. I don't care for the former Orangutang in Chief but let's not pretend we're not both referring to one Donald Trump. You can say 'no political agenda' attached and that's still technically not true but at least it's plausible.
My biggest offense with this piece was the fact that you did not rhyme Orange, it was right there. You even had cringe/syringe. Killin me lol.
The actual poem is good, the two notes above were minor and in good fun. Thanks for sharing. Later daze.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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I get you
Comment from Jill McCauslin
You tell a good story and maintain your rhyme scheme. Good work! I don't know about the disclaimer that this isn't satire. If it were satire, I'd say you did a pretty good job with it. It has a happier ending than I might have thought! I enjoyed your poem.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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You tell a good story and maintain your rhyme scheme. Good work! I don't know about the disclaimer that this isn't satire. If it were satire, I'd say you did a pretty good job with it. It has a happier ending than I might have thought! I enjoyed your poem.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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Thanks for the excellent review Obviously satire
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I understood that it was satire. I was just being funny. I did enjoy the poem.
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💥
Comment from Cathy M
I absolutely loved this political satire poem. You did a great job showing how we are all important in this world. You did it in a fun and brilliant way. Thank you so much for sharing this. It is a price when we have someone think they are more important than others. They don't realize they will pay their price eventually too. Nice job.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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I absolutely loved this political satire poem. You did a great job showing how we are all important in this world. You did it in a fun and brilliant way. Thank you so much for sharing this. It is a price when we have someone think they are more important than others. They don't realize they will pay their price eventually too. Nice job.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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Thanks for the exceptional review
Comment from angel123
I enjoyed reading your interesting Poem. It flowed well and held my interest. Thank you for sharing your author notes. I did think your story was political. Best wishes!
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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I enjoyed reading your interesting Poem. It flowed well and held my interest. Thank you for sharing your author notes. I did think your story was political. Best wishes!
Comment Written 12-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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Thanks for the excellent review
Comment from Katie Mae Dead
A absolutley charming poem. I'm LOL ing the whole way through.
Puti & fruiti - LOL!
such a good story poem this would make for children.
The one thing I noticed wss that you have rhymes and rhythm, but in places, you dont have an equal amount of syllables in each sentence. This trips up the flow a bit.
Try sticking to 10 syllables per line.
Thanks for an enjoying read. It made me smile!
Katiemae Dead
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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A absolutley charming poem. I'm LOL ing the whole way through.
Puti & fruiti - LOL!
such a good story poem this would make for children.
The one thing I noticed wss that you have rhymes and rhythm, but in places, you dont have an equal amount of syllables in each sentence. This trips up the flow a bit.
Try sticking to 10 syllables per line.
Thanks for an enjoying read. It made me smile!
Katiemae Dead
Comment Written 12-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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Thanks for the excellent review
Comment from JennStar
Loved the poem. To be able to take political and social commentary and transform it in such a way is a great talent. The poem flowed well and I didn't see any structural issues.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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Loved the poem. To be able to take political and social commentary and transform it in such a way is a great talent. The poem flowed well and I didn't see any structural issues.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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Thanks for your exceptional review
Comment from Gert sherwood
EricDaGoose
Your fictional tale about the thick skin of the orange and the thin and fuzzy peaches and the apple who can go rotten were not wanted apples not wanted. I found your rhyming poem unique of how the juices of the oranges and the peaches is telling us thick orange skin and the fuzzy thin skin along with the apples were used to a cure for the virus to me shows thick or thin fuzz skin and the apple we are all equal and of value
Gert
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
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EricDaGoose
Your fictional tale about the thick skin of the orange and the thin and fuzzy peaches and the apple who can go rotten were not wanted apples not wanted. I found your rhyming poem unique of how the juices of the oranges and the peaches is telling us thick orange skin and the fuzzy thin skin along with the apples were used to a cure for the virus to me shows thick or thin fuzz skin and the apple we are all equal and of value
Gert
Comment Written 11-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2021
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Thanks for your excellent review
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You are most welcome
EricDaGoose
Gert
