Comment from LisaMay

Excellent

I think you've done a terrific job in using all the required words in one sentence. It's got all the trimmings of a perfect date for me, too - depending on the company!

 Comment Written 27-May-2021

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reply by the author on 27-May-2021

Thank You!

Comment from Nina R. Schapiro

Average

Lovely imagery...
try removing all the extraneous words; and by the, etc. & see if you like it better.

lol-- a trick I learned in a workshop a million years ago.

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 Comment Written 26-May-2021

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reply by the author on 26-May-2021

Thank You.

Comment from RodG

Excellent

I guess you could call this a PROSE POEM. You certainly don't waste any time setting the scene and making us visualize the Speaker on the beach, sipping Southern Comfort as the sun sets. Good luck in the contest, Mystery Poet.

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 Comment Written 25-May-2021

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reply by the author on 25-May-2021

Thank You!

Comment from robyn corum

Good

Dear Mystery Writer,

This was a beautiful scene and nicely composed, but it doesn't seem to be a poem, which is what the contest calls for. I strongly suggest an edit? Thanks and good luck!

 Comment Written 25-May-2021

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reply by the author on 25-May-2021

Thank You!