Another Life
Viewing comments for Chapter 45 "At Death's door"American Isekai
9 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
It seems Paul is going to survive. I somehow knew he would. I figured whatever miracle brought him there would make sure he lived. I am really enjoying reading this story. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 29-May-2021
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It seems Paul is going to survive. I somehow knew he would. I figured whatever miracle brought him there would make sure he lived. I am really enjoying reading this story. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 29-May-2021
reply by the author on 29-May-2021
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Thank you very much.
Comment from lyenochka
I haven't been following this so I missed a lot that happened. But apparently Paul is still alive and his been knighted post mortem, or as he was though that he was dead. But it takes a mother's intuition and faith to believe in her miraculously gifted son. Well written.
reply by the author on 27-May-2021
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I haven't been following this so I missed a lot that happened. But apparently Paul is still alive and his been knighted post mortem, or as he was though that he was dead. But it takes a mother's intuition and faith to believe in her miraculously gifted son. Well written.
Comment Written 27-May-2021
reply by the author on 27-May-2021
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Goose bumps! This is a great episode. What love and dedication Paul's mother has. This is a strong tribute to mothers who would have the perseverance and determination as Paul's mother has. Well done.
reply by the author on 26-May-2021
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Goose bumps! This is a great episode. What love and dedication Paul's mother has. This is a strong tribute to mothers who would have the perseverance and determination as Paul's mother has. Well done.
Comment Written 26-May-2021
reply by the author on 26-May-2021
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Thank you, Liz. Things are drawing to an end. I am happy you like the story.
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I thought this might be a channel into his next life and next adventure in a new lifetime. You did such a good job with your unique setting. Well done.
Comment from Jay Squires
Good to see this back, Lance. I look for it every week. Unfortunately, when it comes Wednesday or later, I'll likely be out of sixes.
Well ... I learned something new. I thought that "mortally wounded" meant irreversibly ending in death. I was wrong. So ignore the comment I almost put down, LOL.
Death was in the room, and she would not be leaving alone. [Ohhhh, I love that!]
He did move or cry out [I believe you mean "He did NOT move or cry out...]
"No!" She slapped his hands away [Crista's dialogue in this paragraph is sterling, Lance! Gripping, sorrowful, yet determined.]
but one look into her eyes and he flew from the room. [Whoa. So much in so few words.]
Your writing left the writer in me trembling. Lance, this is by far the best chapter I've read of your novel. While I don't have a six to reward it, I am going to give it a member pump boost ... If I can figure out how to do it. This deserves more readers!
Jay
reply by the author on 26-May-2021
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Good to see this back, Lance. I look for it every week. Unfortunately, when it comes Wednesday or later, I'll likely be out of sixes.
Well ... I learned something new. I thought that "mortally wounded" meant irreversibly ending in death. I was wrong. So ignore the comment I almost put down, LOL.
Death was in the room, and she would not be leaving alone. [Ohhhh, I love that!]
He did move or cry out [I believe you mean "He did NOT move or cry out...]
"No!" She slapped his hands away [Crista's dialogue in this paragraph is sterling, Lance! Gripping, sorrowful, yet determined.]
but one look into her eyes and he flew from the room. [Whoa. So much in so few words.]
Your writing left the writer in me trembling. Lance, this is by far the best chapter I've read of your novel. While I don't have a six to reward it, I am going to give it a member pump boost ... If I can figure out how to do it. This deserves more readers!
Jay
Comment Written 26-May-2021
reply by the author on 26-May-2021
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Thank you. No pump needed. I purposely don't promote my novel high, to keep the fake reviewers away.
But I appreciate the sentiment.
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Too late.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
A man that calls on death to leave her son be, to let him stay:"Then as her eyes snapped open, she turned to a dark corner of the room. "Get out. You will not have my son. Not while I live."
Perhaps it was a breeze from outside that disturbed one of the candles or maybe it was just tired eyes readjusting, but the shadow seemed to vanish." Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
reply by the author on 27-May-2021
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A man that calls on death to leave her son be, to let him stay:"Then as her eyes snapped open, she turned to a dark corner of the room. "Get out. You will not have my son. Not while I live."
Perhaps it was a breeze from outside that disturbed one of the candles or maybe it was just tired eyes readjusting, but the shadow seemed to vanish." Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
Comment Written 26-May-2021
reply by the author on 27-May-2021
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Interesting characters add another layer to the tale. Strong ending with the mother defending her child. Plenty of possibilities where this scene could lead to.
reply by the author on 27-May-2021
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Interesting characters add another layer to the tale. Strong ending with the mother defending her child. Plenty of possibilities where this scene could lead to.
Comment Written 26-May-2021
reply by the author on 27-May-2021
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is beautifully written and so emotionally moving. You are an exceptional writer who has written an an exceptional chapter, which can move even the most hardened to tears.
reply by the author on 27-May-2021
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This is beautifully written and so emotionally moving. You are an exceptional writer who has written an an exceptional chapter, which can move even the most hardened to tears.
Comment Written 26-May-2021
reply by the author on 27-May-2021
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Thank you very much.
Comment from robyn corum
Lance,
Oooohhh... Nice! I was very unhappy to hear that this poor guy would have to die - but this makes a lot more sense. *smile* And, hey -- GO, MOM! hahaha That's one individual who could always raise the dead by mere strength of will if there was any possibility, whatsoever.
I think this was one of your best. Great job!
reply by the author on 27-May-2021
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Lance,
Oooohhh... Nice! I was very unhappy to hear that this poor guy would have to die - but this makes a lot more sense. *smile* And, hey -- GO, MOM! hahaha That's one individual who could always raise the dead by mere strength of will if there was any possibility, whatsoever.
I think this was one of your best. Great job!
Comment Written 26-May-2021
reply by the author on 27-May-2021
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
This looks like a fascinating story with great characters. What a dramatic scene! I don't understand your whole story, of course, but the immediate meaning of the chapter is clear to even someone like me, coming into the story already in progress. I realize that there may be many ramifications to this that I don't know about, not having read what came earlier.
Spags and suggestions:
Several had to leave the room less they lost what remained of their courage.
-->
Several had to leave the room lest they lose what remained of their courage.
"Hail, Sir Paul, knight of Valeria,
-->
"Hail, Sir Paul, Knight of Valeria, ["Knight" was capitalized when Reinhard knighted the dying man in the previous paragraph]
dipped a cloth into and then brought it to her son's cracked lips.
-->
dipped a cloth into it and then brought it to her son's cracked lips.
She dipped her cloth and let precious drips of water fall ...
-->
She dipped her cloth and let precious drops of water fall ...
Then her eyes snapped open, she turned to a dark corner of the room.
-->
Then, as her eyes snapped open, she turned to a dark corner of the room.
***
It was good of you to provide a list of characters, but since this is already Chapter 44 or 45, there is much I don't know.
Paul seems to be making a very dramatic turnaround. When the chapter started, I thought, for sure, that he would die. I was very happy when he didn't.
reply by the author on 26-May-2021
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This looks like a fascinating story with great characters. What a dramatic scene! I don't understand your whole story, of course, but the immediate meaning of the chapter is clear to even someone like me, coming into the story already in progress. I realize that there may be many ramifications to this that I don't know about, not having read what came earlier.
Spags and suggestions:
Several had to leave the room less they lost what remained of their courage.
-->
Several had to leave the room lest they lose what remained of their courage.
"Hail, Sir Paul, knight of Valeria,
-->
"Hail, Sir Paul, Knight of Valeria, ["Knight" was capitalized when Reinhard knighted the dying man in the previous paragraph]
dipped a cloth into and then brought it to her son's cracked lips.
-->
dipped a cloth into it and then brought it to her son's cracked lips.
She dipped her cloth and let precious drips of water fall ...
-->
She dipped her cloth and let precious drops of water fall ...
Then her eyes snapped open, she turned to a dark corner of the room.
-->
Then, as her eyes snapped open, she turned to a dark corner of the room.
***
It was good of you to provide a list of characters, but since this is already Chapter 44 or 45, there is much I don't know.
Paul seems to be making a very dramatic turnaround. When the chapter started, I thought, for sure, that he would die. I was very happy when he didn't.
Comment Written 26-May-2021
reply by the author on 26-May-2021
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Thank you. You have an eagle eye. I will make those edits.
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You're very welcome, Lancellot. I'm happy to help. God bless you.
- Mary Kay
