I Want To See the World
Kiss my ass...9 total reviews
Comment from Jean Lutz1
Oh how I laughed and relate. Time for all the parts to come together and rant. Now those diapers cover mouths. Well, considering what comes out of some of them that might not be a bad idea. Best wishes with your entry and maybe a thank you for not using art work.
reply by the author on 26-May-2021
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Oh how I laughed and relate. Time for all the parts to come together and rant. Now those diapers cover mouths. Well, considering what comes out of some of them that might not be a bad idea. Best wishes with your entry and maybe a thank you for not using art work.
Comment Written 26-May-2021
reply by the author on 26-May-2021
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Oh, you are welcome. Or maybe I should say, "you are lucky. "I just couldn't find a good moon picture. :-) Thank you so much for your review.
Comment from Bill Schott
This short story, I Want to See the World, is ass-inine in its approach to helping this backend crack wise. You've a bun-ny tale here.
reply by the author on 26-May-2021
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This short story, I Want to See the World, is ass-inine in its approach to helping this backend crack wise. You've a bun-ny tale here.
Comment Written 26-May-2021
reply by the author on 26-May-2021
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Hahaha! I want to review your review! I'm laughing so hard. Thank you for that, and for your kindness.
Comment from Begin Again
Pick me up off the floor and dust me off! Your humor is over the top with this one and I am loving it. What a wonderful, crazy ride... thanks for adding so much laughter to my day. Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 26-May-2021
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Pick me up off the floor and dust me off! Your humor is over the top with this one and I am loving it. What a wonderful, crazy ride... thanks for adding so much laughter to my day. Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 26-May-2021
reply by the author on 26-May-2021
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Ha ha thank you! So glad you enjoyed it. :-)
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is fantastic. I think the part I preferred was the description of the massive poopy. It was predictable, but amusing nonetheless. I hope you do well in the contest.
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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This is fantastic. I think the part I preferred was the description of the massive poopy. It was predictable, but amusing nonetheless. I hope you do well in the contest.
Comment Written 25-May-2021
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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Thank you. Glad you liked it. I get worried when I write things that are a little tasteless and crude. Appreciate the six stars, too! Hugs.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a fun write, very amusing and clever and I loved all the scenarios here as this seat services the people and sees the rough end of life, a fun post and you won my vote, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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This is a fun write, very amusing and clever and I loved all the scenarios here as this seat services the people and sees the rough end of life, a fun post and you won my vote, love Dolly x
Comment Written 25-May-2021
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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Thank you, Dolly, for the nice review, and I am grateful for your vote! I'm glad you enjoyed the story. :-)
Comment from Jay Squires
I gotta say, after I got over the uneasiness that society has taught me to exhibit with such subjects, when I really let myself go, I found this to be a hoot!
Below are some thoughts as I read along. I hope you find them helpful.
Those things really know how to hold in the sent [I think you mean "scent", although "scent" is usually reserved for a more fragrant ambiance. Perhaps a more effective word would be "stench"!]
One of my all-time favorite memories is when my person was around 12-years-old. [That's clever ... "my person". It clearly separates the ass from its owner.]
They call idiotic people "an ass." [Either they call idiotic people "asses" or they call an idiotic person "an ass".
Can you say ",pain?" [I don't know how that comma slipped in ... and the question mark should be outside the quote mark when it's differentiating something and is not dialogue. It should look like: "pain"?]
I needed medical treatment.4 [I don't know why you have that errant 4, just hanging there like a hemorrhoid.
This was really quite funny. If the judges have a sense of humor, this should do well in the contest.
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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I gotta say, after I got over the uneasiness that society has taught me to exhibit with such subjects, when I really let myself go, I found this to be a hoot!
Below are some thoughts as I read along. I hope you find them helpful.
Those things really know how to hold in the sent [I think you mean "scent", although "scent" is usually reserved for a more fragrant ambiance. Perhaps a more effective word would be "stench"!]
One of my all-time favorite memories is when my person was around 12-years-old. [That's clever ... "my person". It clearly separates the ass from its owner.]
They call idiotic people "an ass." [Either they call idiotic people "asses" or they call an idiotic person "an ass".
Can you say ",pain?" [I don't know how that comma slipped in ... and the question mark should be outside the quote mark when it's differentiating something and is not dialogue. It should look like: "pain"?]
I needed medical treatment.4 [I don't know why you have that errant 4, just hanging there like a hemorrhoid.
This was really quite funny. If the judges have a sense of humor, this should do well in the contest.
Comment Written 24-May-2021
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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Thank you so much for your honest and supportive review. Actually, a different reviewer pointed out those same errors, and I changed them? I thought. Thank you for letting me know they are still there.
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No, my day is so packed with reviewing and writing that I often look for what I want to review early in the day, but don't often get back to it until in the evening. That's what happened here. It's now 9:30Pm and I'm still working on this mornings downloaded stories.
Comment from 4theloveoftrees
I was definitely laughing out loud while reading this! Well done! You bring up quite a few good points about "asses". Very amusing, I wish you the best of luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 24-May-2021
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I was definitely laughing out loud while reading this! Well done! You bring up quite a few good points about "asses". Very amusing, I wish you the best of luck in the contest!
Comment Written 24-May-2021
reply by the author on 24-May-2021
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Thank you. The way asses get treated? It's just a bunch of crap! I appreciate your comments and review.
Comment from Susan Newell
This is a very funny short story. We definitely don't have enough respect for our assess. I enjoyed it all the way through.
I found a few writing things:
hold in the sent ==> scent
They call idiotic people "an ass." -- agreement -- either an idiotic person, or asses
Can you say ",pain?" -- fix punctuation.
treatment.4 That was rough. -- delete 4
I deserve it. -- you start with "I am an ass." Not "your ass." In the last paragraph you address the reader in the second person as though the person had a different ass, then you revert to first person singular. Either start with "I am your ass," or end with "It deserves it" or "We all deserve it."
reply by the author on 24-May-2021
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This is a very funny short story. We definitely don't have enough respect for our assess. I enjoyed it all the way through.
I found a few writing things:
hold in the sent ==> scent
They call idiotic people "an ass." -- agreement -- either an idiotic person, or asses
Can you say ",pain?" -- fix punctuation.
treatment.4 That was rough. -- delete 4
I deserve it. -- you start with "I am an ass." Not "your ass." In the last paragraph you address the reader in the second person as though the person had a different ass, then you revert to first person singular. Either start with "I am your ass," or end with "It deserves it" or "We all deserve it."
Comment Written 24-May-2021
reply by the author on 24-May-2021
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Thank you so much for catching all of that. I'm visiting my grandchildren, and I was distracted. I didn't catch anything that you pointed out, obviously! Your assistance and support is very much appreciated.
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This was so fun to read that it was easy to make a few notes along the way. Keep writimg!
Comment from Erika Seshadri
Five stars for creativity, lol. I was certainly not expecting to read a story this morning with the POV of an ass, yet here I am. I have a few mixed feelings about this. It didn't blow me away with its literary depth, but I can honestly say it had some good humor, and I fully support the last paragraph. Asses deserve to be happy too.
Have a great week.
reply by the author on 24-May-2021
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Five stars for creativity, lol. I was certainly not expecting to read a story this morning with the POV of an ass, yet here I am. I have a few mixed feelings about this. It didn't blow me away with its literary depth, but I can honestly say it had some good humor, and I fully support the last paragraph. Asses deserve to be happy too.
Have a great week.
Comment Written 24-May-2021
reply by the author on 24-May-2021
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In the ass' defense, if they won't even let the ass have some air, do you think they would allow it to take language classes? lol No school for the ass. :-) Thank you for your comments and review.
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Hahaha, so very true. It?s definitely not easy being an ass, lolol.
