Football - A Novel
Viewing comments for Chapter 36 "Football Chapter 18 part 1"A mother faces life's struggles.
28 total reviews
Comment from Sankey
Another wonderful read. I love the emotion and the boys' interactions with "coach." I feel like the romance is on its way. Good work. Just ONE spag! "I have a feeling you've made a(t) least one mistake in your life, right?"
reply by the author on 23-May-2021
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Another wonderful read. I love the emotion and the boys' interactions with "coach." I feel like the romance is on its way. Good work. Just ONE spag! "I have a feeling you've made a(t) least one mistake in your life, right?"
Comment Written 23-May-2021
reply by the author on 23-May-2021
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Thank you for the catch. I've fixed it.
Comment from amahra
Nicely written and entertaining chapter. I love how Joshua thought the prank was funny until realizing he'll be a freshman the following year. I also love the cute way Jeremy hopped up on the coach's knee and asked him to be his dad on 'Dads have lunch at school day.' I know this is dialogue and characters don't have to speak correct grammar, but should it be [freshmen's lockers] instead of [freshmen lockers?]
reply by the author on 23-May-2021
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Nicely written and entertaining chapter. I love how Joshua thought the prank was funny until realizing he'll be a freshman the following year. I also love the cute way Jeremy hopped up on the coach's knee and asked him to be his dad on 'Dads have lunch at school day.' I know this is dialogue and characters don't have to speak correct grammar, but should it be [freshmen's lockers] instead of [freshmen lockers?]
Comment Written 23-May-2021
reply by the author on 23-May-2021
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Good question. I will talk with my son who teaches freshman and see what they say in dialogue.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Awe, ain't that sweet. Isn't, I guess, would be more appropriate, but where I come from, ain't fits just fine. Keep their distance only makes the want-to to grow stronger and you use it well. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 23-May-2021
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Awe, ain't that sweet. Isn't, I guess, would be more appropriate, but where I come from, ain't fits just fine. Keep their distance only makes the want-to to grow stronger and you use it well. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 23-May-2021
reply by the author on 23-May-2021
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LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Gert sherwood
I found this chapter humorous I had to smile when --
Gabriel said, "You're a great woman and mother." He cupped her face with both hands. "I know it's none of my business but I hate the way George treated you. I feel because of that you have a low self-esteem. You don't realize how wonderful you are." He leaned over and started to kiss her, but gulped and kissed her cheek. "I need to leave. Good night."
reply by the author on 23-May-2021
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I found this chapter humorous I had to smile when --
Gabriel said, "You're a great woman and mother." He cupped her face with both hands. "I know it's none of my business but I hate the way George treated you. I feel because of that you have a low self-esteem. You don't realize how wonderful you are." He leaned over and started to kiss her, but gulped and kissed her cheek. "I need to leave. Good night."
Comment Written 23-May-2021
reply by the author on 23-May-2021
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Thank you. I appreciate your understanding.
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You are welcome Barb
Gert
Comment from lancellot
Very good. Everything seems to moving according to the established world you've built for your characters. The writing style and editing are flawless.
notes:
Trust me to work on this. Kenny will stop his harassment.
- What harassment? We don't see Kenny doing anything, nor does she accuse Kenny of doing anything.
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reply by the author on 23-May-2021
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Very good. Everything seems to moving according to the established world you've built for your characters. The writing style and editing are flawless.
notes:
Trust me to work on this. Kenny will stop his harassment.
- What harassment? We don't see Kenny doing anything, nor does she accuse Kenny of doing anything.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-May-2021
reply by the author on 23-May-2021
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Rhonda stated that Kenny and his friends have accused her of being a lying snitch. Not next week, but the following week Kenny will get more bold at a track meet. Thank you for the kind review.
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Ah, then you need a slight edit.
you wrote:
"As good as I can be. I no longer have a boyfriend, and all his friends are accusing me of being a lying snitch."
Hope this helps.
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Thank you.
Comment from Judy Lawless
Another fun chapter, Barbara. I liked hearing about the high school prank, and you're showing us just how much Gabriel learned from his life and is trying to pass onto his students. And that "Almost Kiss." :) Well done.
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reply by the author on 23-May-2021
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Another fun chapter, Barbara. I liked hearing about the high school prank, and you're showing us just how much Gabriel learned from his life and is trying to pass onto his students. And that "Almost Kiss." :) Well done.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-May-2021
reply by the author on 23-May-2021
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
LOL! He'll do it one day, and I'm sure Katherine will love it! I can't believe it's only 20 days they've known each other! Such a lot has happened. I really enjoyed this homely scene, Barbara, and I loved it that Gab will be going to be Jeremy's 'dad' for the lunch, that was so sweet. We all know where this is going to lead. I can see a couple with at least 7 children it the near future!!!! Well done, my friend. :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 23-May-2021
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LOL! He'll do it one day, and I'm sure Katherine will love it! I can't believe it's only 20 days they've known each other! Such a lot has happened. I really enjoyed this homely scene, Barbara, and I loved it that Gab will be going to be Jeremy's 'dad' for the lunch, that was so sweet. We all know where this is going to lead. I can see a couple with at least 7 children it the near future!!!! Well done, my friend. :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 23-May-2021
reply by the author on 23-May-2021
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Thank you for the encouraging review. I can promise some major problems in the future, from unexpected sources.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara, that was a great and fun chapter as well. I couldn't help laughing when I read about the about the lockers. I could well imagine it.
A budding romance is definitely there. All best, Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 23-May-2021
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Hi Barbara, that was a great and fun chapter as well. I couldn't help laughing when I read about the about the lockers. I could well imagine it.
A budding romance is definitely there. All best, Ulla:)))
Comment Written 23-May-2021
reply by the author on 23-May-2021
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Thank you for the understanding. Boys will be boys.
