Haiku (red feathers)
Haiku20 total reviews
Comment from Sally Law
Beautiful descriptions that evoke the senses. I enjoy these sort of haikus. Marvelous offering of the splashing red bird. Sending you my best today as always and best wishes for the upcoming contest,
Sal XOs....
reply by the author on 22-May-2021
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Beautiful descriptions that evoke the senses. I enjoy these sort of haikus. Marvelous offering of the splashing red bird. Sending you my best today as always and best wishes for the upcoming contest,
Sal XOs....
Comment Written 22-May-2021
reply by the author on 22-May-2021
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Thanks sweet Sal!! Much appreciated, my friend.
Melissa
Comment from Aussie
What a super photo to compliment your writing prompt entry. I think this is a Cardinal bird? We don't have them here, color gives it away. I have two bird baths, one for the tiny birds and one for the big birds that love to swim and drop bread in to soften it (nasty crows do this.) Well done friend. K XX
reply by the author on 22-May-2021
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What a super photo to compliment your writing prompt entry. I think this is a Cardinal bird? We don't have them here, color gives it away. I have two bird baths, one for the tiny birds and one for the big birds that love to swim and drop bread in to soften it (nasty crows do this.) Well done friend. K XX
Comment Written 22-May-2021
reply by the author on 22-May-2021
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I love cardinals which also are called red birds here. I have quite a few in my garden and love to listen to their varied calls. I have bird baths too. My fave is a cobalt blue one that sits low to the ground. Thank you, Kace.
Melissa
Comment from Pantygynt
The cardinal takes a bath! This is like that famous haiku of the frog jumping into a pool. I believe the Japanese have a word that can only be translated as the water sound, but isn't the same as splash. It is not often that English is found linguistically wanting but this is one of those very few times.
reply by the author on 22-May-2021
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The cardinal takes a bath! This is like that famous haiku of the frog jumping into a pool. I believe the Japanese have a word that can only be translated as the water sound, but isn't the same as splash. It is not often that English is found linguistically wanting but this is one of those very few times.
Comment Written 22-May-2021
reply by the author on 22-May-2021
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Hey Jim. I love cardinals and have quite a few that visit my garden. I love to see that flash of red out there. I do believe you are right and that splashing does not convey the moment well, but English is challenging to get to those nuances that we want to convey. Thank you!! Hope you are doing well and having a splendid class! I have been tempted to ask if I could pop in one day and observe, but thought it might be intrusive. :).
Melissa
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There is a class today at 5.00pm UK time. I would be pleased for you to come. It's OK as today we are going to be looking at Emily Dick not Heaney. Lol
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a sweet and your presentation is so very pleasing and what a wonderful scene this is and your Haiku holds up without the image, as it paints a vivid picture, much enjoys Melissa, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 22-May-2021
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This is a sweet and your presentation is so very pleasing and what a wonderful scene this is and your Haiku holds up without the image, as it paints a vivid picture, much enjoys Melissa, love Dolly x
Comment Written 22-May-2021
reply by the author on 22-May-2021
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Hi Dolly. Thank you. I appreciate your thoughts on my red bird taking a bath. :). They are called Cardinals and we have quite a few of them out in our garden. I enjoy seeing that red flash as they fly by.
Melissa
Comment from tempeste
Ciao Sugarray,
Nice to see you are back posting! You were missed!
I love your wee poem and your artwork is eye catching.
PS: I think who created the contest should have said no artwork allowed ...
that way the reader had only the words to go by .. it would have made the challenge harder. ..what do you think?
reply by the author on 22-May-2021
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Ciao Sugarray,
Nice to see you are back posting! You were missed!
I love your wee poem and your artwork is eye catching.
PS: I think who created the contest should have said no artwork allowed ...
that way the reader had only the words to go by .. it would have made the challenge harder. ..what do you think?
Comment Written 22-May-2021
reply by the author on 22-May-2021
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I agree that banning pics would have made the writer think a bit harder. It is challenging in English to get those nuances across, so I guess we rely on photos. I hope you are well. I have been gardening so much lately that I have been consumed by it. I hope to finish with it soon and post more often. :). Hugs, Franca!!
Melissa
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Ciao Sugarray!
Glad to know you are okay .. so you have a green thumb(?).
I have an Austrian friend that grows a lot of berries so she can make jams and marmalades every year.
Are you into that kind of growing?
Comment from Janice Canerdy
Your ekphrastic haiku makes excellent use of all seventeen syllables in this lovely description. I have seen little birds splashing and preening in tiny amounts of water--so charming to observe.
reply by the author on 21-May-2021
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Your ekphrastic haiku makes excellent use of all seventeen syllables in this lovely description. I have seen little birds splashing and preening in tiny amounts of water--so charming to observe.
Comment Written 21-May-2021
reply by the author on 21-May-2021
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Hello Janice. Thanks so much. I was trying to convey a birdbath scenario... hope it comes across that way. LOL I love to watch birds splashing around.
Melissa
Comment from Jesse James Doty
This is a lovely haiku and, I am not sure what species of bird it is but, it is beautiful nonetheless. I realize the contest says that you are not allowed to describe it or, tell me, what it is. I like that you can hear the wonderful sound of splashing in the birdbath.
The picture of this mystery bird adds much to the haiku theme and setting. Well done!
Have a lovely evening,
Jesse
reply by the author on 21-May-2021
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This is a lovely haiku and, I am not sure what species of bird it is but, it is beautiful nonetheless. I realize the contest says that you are not allowed to describe it or, tell me, what it is. I like that you can hear the wonderful sound of splashing in the birdbath.
The picture of this mystery bird adds much to the haiku theme and setting. Well done!
Have a lovely evening,
Jesse
Comment Written 21-May-2021
reply by the author on 21-May-2021
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Hi Jesse. Thanks so much. The bird is a Cardinal and is the state bird of many of the states in the US. I really appreciate your lovely review.
Melissa
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Yes, I can see why...it is beautiful to behold!
It always feels nice to be appreciated for a good review. Thank you, Melissa.
Have a wonderful weekend,
Jesse
Comment from lyenochka
That's such a cute picture! I enjoyed how your haiku moved us from the visual picture of the first two lines to the audible part of the picture, "the sound of splashing."
reply by the author on 21-May-2021
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That's such a cute picture! I enjoyed how your haiku moved us from the visual picture of the first two lines to the audible part of the picture, "the sound of splashing."
Comment Written 21-May-2021
reply by the author on 21-May-2021
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Thank you Helen. I am a bit rusty, so I tried to keep it simple. I have gardened so much that I feel every muscle is shouting at me. :). Hopefully, I will return in full force soon... at least, I hope so. :)
Melissa
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Gardening is the hardest sport! It uses every muscle!
Comment from judiverse
What a sweet bird in the picture. His feathers are ruffled! Excellent alliteration with feathers flap and sound and splashing. I like the use of sound with flap and splashing. Your words create a vivid picture. Best of luck in the contest. judi
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reply by the author on 21-May-2021
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What a sweet bird in the picture. His feathers are ruffled! Excellent alliteration with feathers flap and sound and splashing. I like the use of sound with flap and splashing. Your words create a vivid picture. Best of luck in the contest. judi
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-May-2021
reply by the author on 21-May-2021
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Thanks so much, Judi... hugs!!
Melissa
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You're very welcome. judi
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your haiku is in good form, Melissa. The image is beautiful, although your words paint their own. Good job with the syllable count per line. Your words are descriptive and create great imagery. Best wishes.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
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reply by the author on 21-May-2021
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Your haiku is in good form, Melissa. The image is beautiful, although your words paint their own. Good job with the syllable count per line. Your words are descriptive and create great imagery. Best wishes.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-May-2021
reply by the author on 21-May-2021
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Thanks so much, Jan!! Hugs!
Melissa
