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Viewing comments for Chapter 37 "Linda's Distraction"With their call stalled, Liz & Linda begin walking
11 total reviews
Comment from aryr
This was totally amazing, Liz. I can fully understand when Linda and Liz were trying to explain Kai Zita to Tommy. I can also understand the frustration and anger of Tommy in regards to the controlled fires of his people. This is a great book you are writing, perhaps the government will one day change.
reply by the author on 16-May-2021
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This was totally amazing, Liz. I can fully understand when Linda and Liz were trying to explain Kai Zita to Tommy. I can also understand the frustration and anger of Tommy in regards to the controlled fires of his people. This is a great book you are writing, perhaps the government will one day change.
Comment Written 16-May-2021
reply by the author on 16-May-2021
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Thank you for your engaged review. I'm glad it effective.
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You are most welcome Liz, I really enjoy your chapters.
Comment from padumachitta
hi
I have to go back a bit...but actually this stands alone just fine.
Oh geez, I never learned as much in school as I learned at the table of the 'grandmother's" ..they could tell a tale for sure.
well written.
reply by the author on 16-May-2021
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hi
I have to go back a bit...but actually this stands alone just fine.
Oh geez, I never learned as much in school as I learned at the table of the 'grandmother's" ..they could tell a tale for sure.
well written.
Comment Written 16-May-2021
reply by the author on 16-May-2021
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Thank you for your engaged review. I bet the "grandmothers'" stories were compelling. What an honor. The next chapter involves our encounter with a Shapeshifter named Kai Zita. (names of my deceased partner and my deceased mother) This is in chapter 15+
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hi..shape shifter, not skin walker...not coyote...?
Comment from lancellot
An interesting chapter. Sometimes people get caught up in what they think happened in the past and they allow the pains of others to effect em today.
Well written.
reply by the author on 15-May-2021
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An interesting chapter. Sometimes people get caught up in what they think happened in the past and they allow the pains of others to effect em today.
Well written.
Comment Written 15-May-2021
reply by the author on 15-May-2021
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Thank you for your involved review. You are so right.
Comment from Mabaker12
Short but intelligently told. I can see where you are leading your readers and doing a fine job of it too. Can't wait to hear the story of Kai Zita, have never heard this story. Luv U Anne
reply by the author on 15-May-2021
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Short but intelligently told. I can see where you are leading your readers and doing a fine job of it too. Can't wait to hear the story of Kai Zita, have never heard this story. Luv U Anne
Comment Written 15-May-2021
reply by the author on 15-May-2021
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Thank you for checking in to do a sweet review. Her story is in chapter 15. It was a bizarre experience so Liz & Linda are hesitant to tell Tommy.
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I will go and read that chapter, Liz. Those stories have come from the Ancestors and must not be ignored. Great read Anne.
Comment from DentedSyke
I have to say that your writing is captivating, even when reading something that doesn't show a lot of action or movement. You do a great job of describing and the dialogue is quite good. I like your writing style because it reminds me of what good writing looks like. Nice work!
reply by the author on 15-May-2021
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I have to say that your writing is captivating, even when reading something that doesn't show a lot of action or movement. You do a great job of describing and the dialogue is quite good. I like your writing style because it reminds me of what good writing looks like. Nice work!
Comment Written 15-May-2021
reply by the author on 15-May-2021
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Wow, I am humbled by your review. Thank you. If I haven't already invited you. You are welcome to read the chapters 1-13 on my portfolio, where Linda & I are rescuing 10 girls from a trafficking operation. You do not need to write any reviews. Just enjoy. Each chapter has a little suspense.
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You have, and I have. :)
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good
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:)
Comment from Pj Dennison
Your dialogue is excellent and realistic. I remember burning our fields when I was a child and then one year it stopped. The way Tommy talks is the way my relatives talk about things sometimes and shape shifting and Skinwalkers are a reportable event on my rez. Enough so, the Navajo or Dine' as we call ourselves have our police make reports whenever a tribal member encounters one. The police will drive miles into what looks like nowhere to take the report. This is how serious this is taken.
I did get a chance to read the first 13 chapters and loved the story and thought you did very well on including traditional healing. Of course it is different for each tribe. The Dine' ceremonies are different but we do use sweat-lodges too. I think your writing about Native people is very respectful and honorable. Your work is excellent. You are a talented storyteller.
I don't know why Liz and Linda are hesitating telling their story to Tommy. The word below I had to look up for the definition. I don't think it fits the easy story telling style of your writing. I think perhaps a description of the lady in the fog or just say she looked like she was from ages ago. Something like that.
anachronistically-belonging to a period other than that being portrayed.
reply by the author on 15-May-2021
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Your dialogue is excellent and realistic. I remember burning our fields when I was a child and then one year it stopped. The way Tommy talks is the way my relatives talk about things sometimes and shape shifting and Skinwalkers are a reportable event on my rez. Enough so, the Navajo or Dine' as we call ourselves have our police make reports whenever a tribal member encounters one. The police will drive miles into what looks like nowhere to take the report. This is how serious this is taken.
I did get a chance to read the first 13 chapters and loved the story and thought you did very well on including traditional healing. Of course it is different for each tribe. The Dine' ceremonies are different but we do use sweat-lodges too. I think your writing about Native people is very respectful and honorable. Your work is excellent. You are a talented storyteller.
I don't know why Liz and Linda are hesitating telling their story to Tommy. The word below I had to look up for the definition. I don't think it fits the easy story telling style of your writing. I think perhaps a description of the lady in the fog or just say she looked like she was from ages ago. Something like that.
anachronistically-belonging to a period other than that being portrayed.
Comment Written 15-May-2021
reply by the author on 15-May-2021
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I'm excited you have read the 13 chapter so quickly. This lady is in Chapter 15, you're almost there. Anachronistically is one of my favorite words when it was broken down for me, I was fascinated. chrono, meaning time ana ...out of place
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Oh, I will continue to read! Thank you.
Comment from Leann DS
Well written with good detail and great, realistic, relevant dialogue. I am wondering how things are going to go when they tell him they're paranormal experience. I hope I don't somehow miss the next chapter! Thanks for sharing! Have a great weekend. Hugs.
reply by the author on 15-May-2021
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Well written with good detail and great, realistic, relevant dialogue. I am wondering how things are going to go when they tell him they're paranormal experience. I hope I don't somehow miss the next chapter! Thanks for sharing! Have a great weekend. Hugs.
Comment Written 15-May-2021
reply by the author on 15-May-2021
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Thank you for your involved review. I will let you know, unless you are a fan. That way you get notified automatically. That's how I know you've posted something.
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Oh, yes. I am a fan, but sometimes if I get 20 at one time, I just delete them all. I get too overwhelmed. Ha ha I am lame.
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I do understand, I have quite a few at a time too.
Comment from Judy Lawless
You've given us some more history that most of us wouldn't have thought about. The burning of land to enrich it is done in Canada to an extent, but our western provinces suffer from many forest fires, usually caused by careless humans.
reply by the author on 15-May-2021
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You've given us some more history that most of us wouldn't have thought about. The burning of land to enrich it is done in Canada to an extent, but our western provinces suffer from many forest fires, usually caused by careless humans.
Comment Written 15-May-2021
reply by the author on 15-May-2021
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Thank you for your engaged review. I'm glad it is having its desired effect.
Comment from AJ McCall
Yes, I agree, Tommy and Liz. You'll never learn of these things in school or history class. It's like they ripped that entire section out and decided they didn't want those people to ever be heard about. LOL. I just realized your character's name is the same as yours.
Before I forget, HI LIZ! I know it's been a while but I just started an NYU program that's been keeping me busy, lol. But I had to check in on your writing. It's awesome!
reply by the author on 15-May-2021
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Yes, I agree, Tommy and Liz. You'll never learn of these things in school or history class. It's like they ripped that entire section out and decided they didn't want those people to ever be heard about. LOL. I just realized your character's name is the same as yours.
Before I forget, HI LIZ! I know it's been a while but I just started an NYU program that's been keeping me busy, lol. But I had to check in on your writing. It's awesome!
Comment Written 15-May-2021
reply by the author on 15-May-2021
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Thank you for your great review. I was pleased to see your name. You know if you want to, you can just randomly read without a review my previous chapters at any time. Congratulations for academic pursuit. I will send some fluffy energy your way to take advantage of when needed.
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You're welcome, Liz! But I like to review a lot and to let you know I'm still following the story. Thank you!
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Great to hear. I'm glad for your loyalty
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:)
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When you say you like to do reviews, so do I and having been a teacher, I can do them quickly, unless they're to religious...sapppy Then I have to resort to my convent nun days and pour it on for people and apologize to Jesus for me blaspheming him...lol. He was a good man, just born in the wrong time and place. Although he'd not do too well at this time & place...sooo....dunno. I've got a psalm I quote, 139 that can fill in just about every religious situation. You can use it if you are at a pause of what to say. Enough for now.
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LOL. Okay, Liz!
Comment from Bonnie Seach
An interesting story. Well spaced with thought to dialogue.
Suggestion while editing:
Avoid weak words *Seemed *then
Try:
Materialized out of the fog and dissolved mysteriously...
Shorter sentences advance the story by adding impact.
Thank you for sharing. Best wishes
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-May-2021
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An interesting story. Well spaced with thought to dialogue.
Suggestion while editing:
Avoid weak words *Seemed *then
Try:
Materialized out of the fog and dissolved mysteriously...
Shorter sentences advance the story by adding impact.
Thank you for sharing. Best wishes
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-May-2021
reply by the author on 15-May-2021
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Thank you for your supportive review. You are right about my weak words. I am working on that among other writing habits of 20+years. Reviewers like you have helped me become a much better writer.
