"Cup of Smiles"
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "Thirteen Cents"Poetry at his finest.
2 total reviews
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
I enjoyed very much seeing all these references to money / filthy lucre gathered together. It brought perspective to the subject and hepled this reader at least to think about what is more important in life.
reply by the author on 16-May-2021
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I enjoyed very much seeing all these references to money / filthy lucre gathered together. It brought perspective to the subject and hepled this reader at least to think about what is more important in life.
Comment Written 15-May-2021
reply by the author on 16-May-2021
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Thanks for your kind thoughts and review Katherine and have a blessed Sabbath Sunday!
Doctor Ricky1024
Comment from DentedSyke
I think you have an astounding message, and you told it well. I particularly like the first stanza and the allusion to hell (the next traveling show.) Nice work! The title and the photo are fantastic!
For me (and I'm not trying to be pedantic, like a teacher scribbling with red pen over your excellent work), there are just too many grammatical errors, and the "root of all evil" misunderstanding.
Money is not the root of all evil; the love of money is the root of all evil. This is not made clear in the first stanza, and it should be! (Timothy 6:10) As a man of faith, I find this popular misconception very irritating. Money is neither evil or blessed; the attitude we take towards the acquisition of money is what defines the issue.
Also consider changing:
1) "Easy comes...Easy goes..." to "Easy come...Easy go..." This is the way the cliché is written.
2) "Adhore" to "Adore"
3) "A masses" to "Amasses" this is the proper spelling
You are a good writer; your talent is undeniable. Keep writing!
reply by the author on 14-May-2021
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I think you have an astounding message, and you told it well. I particularly like the first stanza and the allusion to hell (the next traveling show.) Nice work! The title and the photo are fantastic!
For me (and I'm not trying to be pedantic, like a teacher scribbling with red pen over your excellent work), there are just too many grammatical errors, and the "root of all evil" misunderstanding.
Money is not the root of all evil; the love of money is the root of all evil. This is not made clear in the first stanza, and it should be! (Timothy 6:10) As a man of faith, I find this popular misconception very irritating. Money is neither evil or blessed; the attitude we take towards the acquisition of money is what defines the issue.
Also consider changing:
1) "Easy comes...Easy goes..." to "Easy come...Easy go..." This is the way the cliché is written.
2) "Adhore" to "Adore"
3) "A masses" to "Amasses" this is the proper spelling
You are a good writer; your talent is undeniable. Keep writing!
Comment Written 14-May-2021
reply by the author on 14-May-2021
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Basically in the past 10 years plus I reviewed thousands of works never once will I take a star away from grammar issues.
Let's make that perfectly clear to our Young writers on this site I've written over 800 books and hundreds of thousands of these things that you just reviewed in 17 years.
This of course will be partially running sentence there could be gramical issues.
Go grab a box of tissues?
Doctor Ricky1024
"Still Preaching the Choir Here at Fanstory"
