Busted
Do not lie to a woman with passive aggressive tendencies.12 total reviews
Comment from mermaids
Your words are vivid and your story comes to life. I am sure many can relate to living with an alcoholic. Excellent writing here of a true tale. Best wishes for the contest.
reply by the author on 11-May-2021
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Your words are vivid and your story comes to life. I am sure many can relate to living with an alcoholic. Excellent writing here of a true tale. Best wishes for the contest.
Comment Written 11-May-2021
reply by the author on 11-May-2021
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Thank you very much. Living with an alcoholic wasn't easy, but it taught me a lot. Thanks for your review and comments. Hugs.
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Your use of personification helps create a strong juxtaposition. This has a theme that will draw many a reader in. I had a woman at the shelter who said it was as if her husband was playing giant steps and slowly sneaking his beer from out by then road to the lawn to by a tree to the refrigerator in the garage.
reply by the author on 11-May-2021
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Your use of personification helps create a strong juxtaposition. This has a theme that will draw many a reader in. I had a woman at the shelter who said it was as if her husband was playing giant steps and slowly sneaking his beer from out by then road to the lawn to by a tree to the refrigerator in the garage.
Comment Written 11-May-2021
reply by the author on 11-May-2021
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Hey! I can relate to that. :-) Thank you for your review and comments.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Busted
by Leann DS
Hello, Leann,
Excellent flash fiction about your ex-husband hiding his beer but it was water...I wonder if you found the beer and changed beer to water. LoL
reply by the author on 10-May-2021
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Busted
by Leann DS
Hello, Leann,
Excellent flash fiction about your ex-husband hiding his beer but it was water...I wonder if you found the beer and changed beer to water. LoL
Comment Written 10-May-2021
reply by the author on 10-May-2021
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That is exactly what I did. He told me he wasn't drinking beer anymore, but I discovered his hidden supply and dumped it all down the drain. It may seem immature, but I had already tried everything else I could think of. Plus, I was only 30 years old then. Thanks for the review and comments.
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Good for you! LoL
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
I like the gentle humour in this story. A serious matter told in a lighter vein. Tit for tat kind of ending Much enjoyed. Good luck!
reply by the author on 10-May-2021
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I like the gentle humour in this story. A serious matter told in a lighter vein. Tit for tat kind of ending Much enjoyed. Good luck!
Comment Written 10-May-2021
reply by the author on 10-May-2021
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Thank you. At least I got one peaceful night out of my shenanigans. I appreciate your thoughtful review.
Comment from Sally Law
A fine message conveyed in a flash. My dad was a hard core alcoholic. It killed him. He hid it, or thought he did, in the most unusual places. Even as a young child, I was on to him.
Sending you my best today as always, and best wishes for the flash,
Sal XOs...
reply by the author on 10-May-2021
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A fine message conveyed in a flash. My dad was a hard core alcoholic. It killed him. He hid it, or thought he did, in the most unusual places. Even as a young child, I was on to him.
Sending you my best today as always, and best wishes for the flash,
Sal XOs...
Comment Written 10-May-2021
reply by the author on 10-May-2021
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It's so difficult when you're in the middle of a family with addiction. You just want them to stop. We will try anything we can think of to prevent it. Sometimes, though, our ideas are bizarre.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Drinking habits like this are hard to break and alcohol is responsible for many marriage break-ups, I liked the humour in your words here Leann, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 10-May-2021
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Drinking habits like this are hard to break and alcohol is responsible for many marriage break-ups, I liked the humour in your words here Leann, love Dolly x
Comment Written 10-May-2021
reply by the author on 10-May-2021
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that's what I thought at the time, but the next day he went out and got another case and found a better hiding spot. At least I had one peaceful night. Thank you for your review. Thank you. Sometimes, we just need to laugh? So we don't cry.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Brilliant! The dick got what he deserved--masterful build-up from his POV, thinking he'd put one over on you and then your devious one-upmanship. This may be a winner.
reply by the author on 10-May-2021
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Brilliant! The dick got what he deserved--masterful build-up from his POV, thinking he'd put one over on you and then your devious one-upmanship. This may be a winner.
Comment Written 09-May-2021
reply by the author on 10-May-2021
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Yes, he got what he deserved at least for one night. He started right back up the next day with a better hiding spot. Thank you for your review! Very appreciated. :-)
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Haha what a twist at the end. I enjoyed reading your contest entry, Leann. You did a great job leading up to that ending. I believe many would be expecting something other than what they read. Best wishes.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 09-May-2021
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Haha what a twist at the end. I enjoyed reading your contest entry, Leann. You did a great job leading up to that ending. I believe many would be expecting something other than what they read. Best wishes.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 09-May-2021
reply by the author on 09-May-2021
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Thank you. I'm sure he was expecting something different in the end too. Oh well, too bad for him. :-) I appreciate your comments and review.
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Thank you. I'm sure he was expecting something different in the end too. Oh well, too bad for him. :-) I appreciate your comments and review.
Comment from royowen
How interesting Leann, I was affectively an alcoholic when I first became a Christian, and two days before I was baptised, God told me to stop gambling, drinking and smoking...and I did, test was 37 years ago. But I missed that cold beer on a hot day, but never broached that promise. But this is funny. Well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 09-May-2021
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How interesting Leann, I was affectively an alcoholic when I first became a Christian, and two days before I was baptised, God told me to stop gambling, drinking and smoking...and I did, test was 37 years ago. But I missed that cold beer on a hot day, but never broached that promise. But this is funny. Well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 09-May-2021
reply by the author on 09-May-2021
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I was so upset that he lied to me! I could have handled it better if he just told me he needed help or that he wasn't going to quit. But lying. I was so angry. I dumped every beer. Filled them with water. Pulled the little tab thing back up.
I probably needed AL ANON.
Thanks for the review. And congratulations on your recovery. Hugs.
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I agree with you Leann, he?s a silly poppet, I think Elaine would be angry too. And deservedly so.
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Leann.
You wrote the story and built considerable tension into it as you progressed. The difference between good flash and not so good flash is the ending. Your ending was great. It was a shocker..
Good luck in the contest.
Robert
reply by the author on 09-May-2021
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Hello Leann.
You wrote the story and built considerable tension into it as you progressed. The difference between good flash and not so good flash is the ending. Your ending was great. It was a shocker..
Good luck in the contest.
Robert
Comment Written 09-May-2021
reply by the author on 09-May-2021
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Thanks. He was pretty shocked, I am guessing, also. I wish I could've seen his face. Thank you for your review and comment. Hugs.
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You're welcome.
