Service Station - Closed
A commentary on the present state of religion.38 total reviews
Comment from Susan Newell
This isn't pretty good, it's spectacular. Every line is perfectly executed and I felt that I was there with you in the old church that had long given up on crying out to be used. There is no question but that we need a national revival and a return to looking to God rather than government. Exceptional!
Just checked your profile above. I used to travel through Littleton on the way to my grandfather's house.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2021
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This isn't pretty good, it's spectacular. Every line is perfectly executed and I felt that I was there with you in the old church that had long given up on crying out to be used. There is no question but that we need a national revival and a return to looking to God rather than government. Exceptional!
Just checked your profile above. I used to travel through Littleton on the way to my grandfather's house.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2021
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Thanks fore the review and kind words. Littleton has changed drastically since I taught there. I was there this past summer, and I couldn't believe it.
Comment from Melodie Michelle
Excellent poem my friend! It flows quite well and it is very well written and thought out!
The only thing I would say is that it really needs some imagery to make it 100%!
Thank you for sharing and many blessings to you and your family;-)
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2021
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Excellent poem my friend! It flows quite well and it is very well written and thought out!
The only thing I would say is that it really needs some imagery to make it 100%!
Thank you for sharing and many blessings to you and your family;-)
Comment Written 04-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2021
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Thanks Melodie. After much difficulty, I have added a picture. Not really the one I wanted. I'll keep looking.
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I've found when I Google exactly what I'm looking for it appears!
Comment from lyenochka
Very thought-provoking. Of course, last year, churches met online so even more church buildings were empty. But I understand what you are saying about the decrease in church attendance. We're at a stage that's happened in Europe before. There lots of beautiful churches are empty, too, and repurposed for refugee settlements. What some believers did there was to move the church meetings and Bible studies into restaurants and bars - where the spiritually thirsty souls were.
Congratulations on your third place finish!!
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2021
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Very thought-provoking. Of course, last year, churches met online so even more church buildings were empty. But I understand what you are saying about the decrease in church attendance. We're at a stage that's happened in Europe before. There lots of beautiful churches are empty, too, and repurposed for refugee settlements. What some believers did there was to move the church meetings and Bible studies into restaurants and bars - where the spiritually thirsty souls were.
Congratulations on your third place finish!!
Comment Written 22-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2021
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Thanks for the review, Helen. This is one of my favorites.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Congrats on your prize for this compelling poem--a fresh take on faith--poignant lament rife with stunning imagery. Timely theme, given church closings on account of Corona, Cheeers. LIZ
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Congrats on your prize for this compelling poem--a fresh take on faith--poignant lament rife with stunning imagery. Timely theme, given church closings on account of Corona, Cheeers. LIZ
Comment Written 20-May-2021
Comment from Mary Vigasin
Paul, I saw that you placed 3rd place. The rhyming and message on the poem is memorable and just perfect in the description of the church.
Well done.
Regards
Mary
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Paul, I saw that you placed 3rd place. The rhyming and message on the poem is memorable and just perfect in the description of the church.
Well done.
Regards
Mary
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-May-2021
Comment from dragonpoet
This is a wonderfully rhymed and metered poem about this old chuch and the feeling the old church gave the speaker in the poem. It shows the belief that all churches should be full and we all need God. Maybe someone can repair the church, it sounds very rustic and sacred.
Congrats on placing third in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
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This is a wonderfully rhymed and metered poem about this old chuch and the feeling the old church gave the speaker in the poem. It shows the belief that all churches should be full and we all need God. Maybe someone can repair the church, it sounds very rustic and sacred.
Congrats on placing third in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Comment Written 20-May-2021
Comment from DentedSyke
Though I found some (what I consider) errors in this piece - and we are told to give four stars for good work that has flaws - I just couldn't bring myself to do it. This is a simple work with rhyming couplets (not my favorite), but it is done so well and delivered such a strong and complete message that I had to give it five stars. You did a fine, fine job here. As to the (suspected) errors I found:
"And up a grown up path I strode,"
I'm not sure what you mean by a grown up path.
"A portal to a time where trod"
Portal doesn't feel like it's right for this piece.
You had some amazing imagery, though, and you have shown real writing talent. Keep it up!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Though I found some (what I consider) errors in this piece - and we are told to give four stars for good work that has flaws - I just couldn't bring myself to do it. This is a simple work with rhyming couplets (not my favorite), but it is done so well and delivered such a strong and complete message that I had to give it five stars. You did a fine, fine job here. As to the (suspected) errors I found:
"And up a grown up path I strode,"
I'm not sure what you mean by a grown up path.
"A portal to a time where trod"
Portal doesn't feel like it's right for this piece.
You had some amazing imagery, though, and you have shown real writing talent. Keep it up!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-May-2021
Comment from Anne Johnston
What a beautiful poem you have written, so sad but true. Great rhyming and easy to read. It is all so good, but I like the verse:
"I stood there in the sacred gloom
Of Heaven's country anteroom,
And wondered if we could restore
God's House to what it was before."
I haven't been able to be in a church for a service for over a year, but thank the Lord we do have the live stream - it's not the same as worshipping together.
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What a beautiful poem you have written, so sad but true. Great rhyming and easy to read. It is all so good, but I like the verse:
"I stood there in the sacred gloom
Of Heaven's country anteroom,
And wondered if we could restore
God's House to what it was before."
I haven't been able to be in a church for a service for over a year, but thank the Lord we do have the live stream - it's not the same as worshipping together.
Comment Written 09-May-2021
