Service Station - Closed
A commentary on the present state of religion.38 total reviews
Comment from Ben Colder
Bravo! I wish I had six for this great writer. Thanks for sharing your talent. I found nothing wrong and enjoyed each stanza; I could see this happening. Best to you. I hope you win the contest.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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Bravo! I wish I had six for this great writer. Thanks for sharing your talent. I found nothing wrong and enjoyed each stanza; I could see this happening. Best to you. I hope you win the contest.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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Thanks for the review. This is happening all over our country.
Comment from zanya
It's a poem reminding us of what is happening to religion in our world through the narrative of visiting an abandoned church and recalling a time when Faith meant a great deal more to people-superb imagery' sacred gloom' - wonder how large congregations will be when we emerge fully from the pandemic and church services resume ?
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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It's a poem reminding us of what is happening to religion in our world through the narrative of visiting an abandoned church and recalling a time when Faith meant a great deal more to people-superb imagery' sacred gloom' - wonder how large congregations will be when we emerge fully from the pandemic and church services resume ?
Comment Written 04-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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Thanks for the review. We should have a resurgence when the pandemic is over, but we'll see.
Comment from LJbutterfly
I'm glad you reposted this poem. The imagery is superb in each stanza can stand alone without the artwork. The reader can feel the emotion and regret of the person viewing the abandoned church. The message is clear. Where are the soldiers of the cross?
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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I'm glad you reposted this poem. The imagery is superb in each stanza can stand alone without the artwork. The reader can feel the emotion and regret of the person viewing the abandoned church. The message is clear. Where are the soldiers of the cross?
Comment Written 04-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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Thanks for the review. I'm afraid the soldiers of the cross have all passed on to the other side.
Comment from Sherry Asbury
This is a wonderful poem. You are a fine writer. As to promoting: it takes work and member dollars. The best way is to review until your fingers ache. Be sincere and honest and give each one a personal touch. Beware of ones too short or lacking sincerity. You really do have a great voice and I always enjoy your work.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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This is a wonderful poem. You are a fine writer. As to promoting: it takes work and member dollars. The best way is to review until your fingers ache. Be sincere and honest and give each one a personal touch. Beware of ones too short or lacking sincerity. You really do have a great voice and I always enjoy your work.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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Thanks, Sherry. God bless.
Comment from Goodadvicechan
What a sentimental sign that the author said, "...wondered if we could restore God's House to what it was before."
You have done a good job in memories of your good old days. And end the poem with "... I wiped a tear upon my sleeve.
It seemed a shame that there should be
But two souls here - just God and me."
Good times go fast. Once it is gone, it is in the past.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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What a sentimental sign that the author said, "...wondered if we could restore God's House to what it was before."
You have done a good job in memories of your good old days. And end the poem with "... I wiped a tear upon my sleeve.
It seemed a shame that there should be
But two souls here - just God and me."
Good times go fast. Once it is gone, it is in the past.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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Thanks for the review. Will the good old days ever return?
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things can only get better... Let the past be the past... and forget about it.
Comment from dellsworthpoet
A poem loaded with da javu and recalled memories.
The rhyme pattern is consistent. The poem stays on point. The images are clear. The narrative is a chronological story of discovery. The personal touch at the end is powerful.
Suggestion:
You wrote:
"And up a grown up path I strode"
I would suggest:
And up a o'er grown path I strode.
This suggestion is both to stop the echo of "up" in the line and to fit common speech better.
Thanks for sharing. A good read.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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A poem loaded with da javu and recalled memories.
The rhyme pattern is consistent. The poem stays on point. The images are clear. The narrative is a chronological story of discovery. The personal touch at the end is powerful.
Suggestion:
You wrote:
"And up a grown up path I strode"
I would suggest:
And up a o'er grown path I strode.
This suggestion is both to stop the echo of "up" in the line and to fit common speech better.
Thanks for sharing. A good read.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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Thanks for the review and the suggestion. I'll look into that.
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You are welcome.
Comment from LisaMay
Your well written poem (effective rhyming and rhythm) captures the nostalgic and poignant feeling of being in a sacred space that is no longer utilised to its potential. In a more and more secular society, these neglected churches are a sad sign of loss of faith, or perhaps of changing communities where rural people have moved away to the city.
I love old rundown churches; I feel the presence of God more acutely there - as it appears from your poem's final lines that you do too.
I really enjoyed your story-in-a-poem.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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Your well written poem (effective rhyming and rhythm) captures the nostalgic and poignant feeling of being in a sacred space that is no longer utilised to its potential. In a more and more secular society, these neglected churches are a sad sign of loss of faith, or perhaps of changing communities where rural people have moved away to the city.
I love old rundown churches; I feel the presence of God more acutely there - as it appears from your poem's final lines that you do too.
I really enjoyed your story-in-a-poem.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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Thanks, LisaMay. The country churches are the best.
Comment from Patty Palmer
This is absolutely one of the most beautiful poems that I've ever read!! Your words are so descriptive that I could actually see what you were seeing through your eyes in that church. The rhyme and rhythm are perfect and flows flawlessly throughout. I'll be watching to read more of your work! God bless!
Patty
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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This is absolutely one of the most beautiful poems that I've ever read!! Your words are so descriptive that I could actually see what you were seeing through your eyes in that church. The rhyme and rhythm are perfect and flows flawlessly throughout. I'll be watching to read more of your work! God bless!
Patty
Comment Written 04-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2021
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Thanks for the review and kind words, Patty. I'll try not to let you down.
Comment from Janice Canerdy
Your poem is excellent in every respect--skillfully composed, with expressive, moving descriptions of the old abandoned church building, and creative rhyming.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2021
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Your poem is excellent in every respect--skillfully composed, with expressive, moving descriptions of the old abandoned church building, and creative rhyming.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2021
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Thanks, Janice. There are too many churches in this state of disrepair.
Comment from damommy
Omigosh! This is so lovely, I don't have the proper words to praise it. The meter was great as were the rhymes. The story presented was so well told, it felt I was there in that church. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2021
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Omigosh! This is so lovely, I don't have the proper words to praise it. The meter was great as were the rhymes. The story presented was so well told, it felt I was there in that church. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2021
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Thank you for your kind words. This poem is very special to me.
