Comment from writer723

Excellent

I really enjoyed reading this piece. It was very interesting and intriguing. I felt drawn into the situation being described. Your words painted such a vivid picture in my mind. Great writing!

 Comment Written 18-Jun-2021

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reply by the author on 14-Jul-2021

Thank you for reading and your inspiring feedback. I was pleased to read how much you enjoyed it.

Comment from GollyGreen32

Excellent

Hi! I really enjoyed your story. Deja vu stories seem to scarier with children in them. I liked that you based your story on a true one, and that the man's personality emerged slowly. I have only criticism; your story should have more space between the paragraphs because it's hard to read single-spaced. Otherwise, great job!

 Comment Written 05-May-2021

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reply by the author on 05-May-2021

Thank you for the great feedback, especially the spacing tip. I'll definitely correct that. Have a great day.

Comment from Bill Schott

Excellent

This was a nicely paced story of this previous life experience that you have edited from a larger piece. The fact that this comes from your own mom's experiences further intrigues the readers.

 Comment Written 05-May-2021

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reply by the author on 05-May-2021

Thank you so much for taking the time to read, review and share your thoughts.

Comment from Patty Palmer

Excellent

This is very good. I would think it will do well in the contest. It's a very intriguing story. It gave me chills up my spine. Great job! Good luck with the contest!
Patty

 Comment Written 05-May-2021

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reply by the author on 05-May-2021

Thank you, Patty. Your positive feedback and well wishes are very much appreciated. So glad you liked it.

Comment from Liz O'Neill

Excellent

I've read of young people remembering their past lives. This is so well done, the reader will think this was another story. Some might ask, "Are you sure this isn't a true story? You did a good job.

 Comment Written 05-May-2021

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reply by the author on 05-May-2021

Thank you for taking the time to read and review, and for your encouraging words.

Comment from Wendy G

Excellent

A very well- written and compelling story, told in a realistic and thoughtful way. It is uncanny that your mother had such a fear and that this incident really occurred. Best wishes for the contest.

 Comment Written 05-May-2021

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reply by the author on 05-May-2021

Well, at least, the incident that inspired this work of fiction was my mother's childhood trauma on her first day of school. The hypnotic trance yielding a supernatural voice is complete fiction. Still, her fear was very real and she often claimed it was due to a past life. She said she often dreamed of falling from a collapsing structure into water during some kind catastrophic upheaval, like a volcanic eruption or an earthquake. Sometimes she said it felt like ancient Rome or Greece, but sometimes it seemed even older and she wondered if she dreamed of a time before modern antiquity, like during the sinking of Atlantis or an incident in some other long forgotten age. Who knows? Thank you for your kind words and positive review.

Comment from Leann DS

Excellent

Well done I really enjoyed the story, as past lives, Hipnosis, and children are all among my favorite topics. This is well written with effective dialogue and a unique theme. I'm not sure if the psychologist would be totally clueless though... I guess there are quacks in every field. :-) Thank you for sharing, hugs, and blessings to you brother

 Comment Written 04-May-2021

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reply by the author on 04-May-2021

Thank you so much for your kind words and thoughtful review. Yes, I suppose that doctor does come off as a quack. It's a sad commentary on the health profession when, instead of wanting to change it, I think it makes the story more believable than less. Great point, though. It made me pause for reflection. Hugs and blessing to you, as well.

Comment from equestrik

Excellent

This is a good write and a good picture as well. i have heard of other instances similar to this. I think they are interesting and make other possibilities available.

 Comment Written 04-May-2021

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reply by the author on 04-May-2021

Hi, Thank you for your kind words and taking the time to read and review. It's very much appreciated.

Comment from Sharon Davis

Excellent

A story that takes a very creative approach to the topic of "past lives", and draws on a news event from the past to connect a young girl's present phobia to a past tragedy. Wrll composed, the storytelling element is strong and moves the reader through a piece that flows easily. Great job.

 Comment Written 04-May-2021

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reply by the author on 04-May-2021

Thank you for your positive review and kind words.

Comment from 4theloveoftrees

Excellent

Nicely done and a very interesting story for me personally because my sister has had this fear her whole life and it was suggested to hear the fear may be lingering from a past life. I wonder if there's a way to include paragraph indents so new paragraphs stand out, I think that would enhance the readability. Great story!

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 Comment Written 04-May-2021

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reply by the author on 04-May-2021

Thank you for your positive and helpful review. Yes, I did add the indents as you suggested, and put a note in the author's notes about my inspiration for this story, which you reminded me of by sharing the interesting info about your sister. The incident that happened to Maria actually happened to my mom on her first day of school when she was only five years-old. My grandfather Frank had to carry her over that bridge, but she peed herself and they had to take her back home. Oh, and there were never any hypnotic trances or strange voices in my mom's case, just a lifelong fear of bridges that she often attributed to a past life. (Mom was a flower child in the sixties... lol)